How much talking to yourself is TOO much?

[ThelmaLou]

Here’s an interesting perspective on talking to oneself:

‘I Have Been Talking to Myself My Entire Life’

Scroll waaaay down to Sandra Luckow, but the rest of the article is quite touching, too.

…During 5 p.m. quaran-tinis on Zoom, I hear sheepish confessions from friends about how comforting, entertaining and even revelatory talking to oneself can be. But I have been talking to myself my entire life — personally and professionally. I became a ventriloquist as a child, when I created Juanito to house aspects of myself. It was then that talking to myself in public took off. Responses to Juanito range from intrigued and fascinated to downright scared.

While we’re sheltering in place, I have been wanting to write a show about the personal discoveries of practicing ventriloquism with Juanito. The pandemic has cut out the distractions and we can rehearse at any hour. Juanito amused himself and me by showing up at our rehearsal in gloves, a mask and a container of Clorox wipes. He demanded I put on gloves before sticking my hand into his back.

Once again, Juanito’s there. He insisted that we should celebrate my good fortune of being a ventriloquist at a time when, with a required mask, lip control isn’t required.

— Sandra Luckow, 55, New York
…

[monstro]

@Thudlow_Boink

There are plenty of people who, like you, for whom talking (to themselves or to others) helps them work through and organize and become aware of their thoughts and feelings. I am not one of those people. I find it hard to talk unless I have something to say. For me, talking first requires that I figure out what I’m thinking, then mentally organize my thoughts and feelings, and then actually utter them. I rarely talk to myself because it requires all that extra effort.

Well, you’re assuming that my self-talk is coherent and sensical. It usually isn’t. Usually it is me saying a sentence or phrase over and over again, slightly reworded each time. Or I might “revisit” a conversation I had earlier that day with someone, repeating what I said so that I can reflect on how intelligent/unintelligent it sounded.

I actually find spontaneous speech quite difficult. I still remember when I was berated by my committee at the end of my oral exam in the graduate school for being so polished and intelligent whenever I gave talks, but being super inarticulate and incoherent during my oral exam. I’ve gotten a little better, but I still suck. I think that experience in grad school is why I practice communicating my thoughts so much. It requires extra effort to do this, but I would rather be tired and come across as semi-intelligent than have lots of energy but sound crazy and/or stupid.

[Dung_Beetle]

@Dark_Sponge

People commonly mock the idea of talking to yourself but it’s almost always a good thing. It can help to crystallize squishy thoughts or feelings you have bouncing around in your brain and generally leads to better decision making.

During a time in my life when I regularly had to make long drives, I would spend that time talking to myself out loud about my problems. I would frequently come away with a new perspective. I think it’s because when you tell yourself something dumb or dishonest out loud, it sounds just like bullshit.

@Dark Sponge

On a side note, during a convoluted conversation I recently discovered my wife does not have a internal dialog. This blew my mind.
My first thought after finally understanding was, “HOW do you THINK?”

It blows my mind too! I wonder if you guys just didn’t agree on the meaning of “internal dialogue”.

[Thudlow_Boink]

@monstro

I actually find spontaneous speech quite difficult. I still remember when I was berated by my committee at the end of my oral exam in the graduate school for being so polished and intelligent whenever I gave talks, but being super inarticulate and incoherent during my oral exam. I’ve gotten a little better, but I still suck. I think that experience in grad school is why I practice communicating my thoughts so much. It requires extra effort to do this, but I would rather be tired and come across as semi-intelligent than have lots of energy but sound crazy and/or stupid.

Well then, maybe you talk to yourself as much as you do, not because it comes naturally to you to do so, but because it doesn’t, and so you force yourself to practice. And maybe it would behoove me to do the same.

[Beckdawrek]

Before the pandemic (Are we already doing this: referring to the old days before the virus happened) I was alone, rattling around in this big house. Me and the pets. I talked outloud sometimes, to no one. It always shocked the pets.
There’s so much noise around here now I could scream at the top of my lungs and no one would bat an eyelash.

I miss my quiet conversations with myself (:()

[Beckdawrek]

Oh, and when I scream at the screen of my lap top because the Dope threw me another error code am I talking to ‘myself’ or all you guys?
Or maybe the lazy-assed hamsters?

All of a sudden I don’t feel so alone OR crazy.

Just weird.

[kayaker]

@BeagleJesus

What about talking to your dog(s)?

That’s not crazy, right? RIGHT?

I talk to our dogs, horses, and birds all the time. Not sure if I do it too much, but I’ll ask them all later.

[monstro]

Sometimes when I’m out walking, I’ll see an animal like a squirrel scampering about. And I’ll say out loud (loud enough for passer-bys to hear and look at me funny), “Ooh, look at that squirrel!” I don’t know why I do this, but it always cracks me up when I catch myself doing it.

[EinsteinsHund]

@Dung_Beetle

I talk to myself, to nearby animals, and the TV. I’m fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine.

I mostly SHOUT at my TV, but there are the occasional perfect one liners I provide as commentary that no one ever hears, and that’s a pity.

[thorny_locust]

@BeagleJesus

What about talking to your dog(s)?

That’s not crazy, right? RIGHT?

I talk to dogs, cats, plants, the fields, woodchucks, deer, rabbits, birds, the weather, tools, machinery.

I figure I’m OK as long as none of them starts answering me in English. (Except maybe the computers.)

– They all sometimes answer me in other forms. For instance: Me to the weather: Could you please hold off raining for a few days? The weather, just now, expressed quite a clear NO. With a bit of thunder thrown in.

[Melbourne]

@running_coach

With all the locking down and isolating, I don’t think it’s a good idea to hire a housekeeper.

If I could think of lines like that, I would talk out loud all the time.

[Esprise_Me]

@purplehorseshoe

But are full-blown conversations still considered crazypants, or has quarantine softened those standards like the ones for “acceptable pants” recently?

I had to read this sentence twice to determine that “acceptable pants” is not a new, softer, more open-minded way of saying “crazypants” and now I’m sorry I did because that would have been AWESOME.

[kayaker]

@purplehorseshoe

or has quarantine softened those standards like the ones for “acceptable pants” recently?

I can tell you with a certain degree of authority, that “airport rules” are in affect for the duration of quarantine and then some. That is, drink what you want, when you want it. Bourbon and eggs. Rolls right off the tongue. Cheers!!!

[purplehorseshoe]

@Esprise_Me

I had to read this sentence twice to determine that “acceptable pants” is not a new, softer, more open-minded way of saying “crazypants” and now I’m sorry I did because that would have been AWESOME.

And then I had to read this twice, to realize the -pants connection in the 1st place! (It was unintentional, but maybe I’ve got something against pants, who knows.)

However, I shall now endeavor to use “acceptablepants” whenever possible to express that a situation (or person, I suppose) has not yet risen to the top of the crazy pile.

Had a whole long convo with myself about all this, and I agree with me.

[Beckdawrek]

I’m going with ‘awesomepants’ as a way of saying ‘that’s really great!’

Thanks, purps, I think you’ve coined a new thing here. I’m happy to be at its inception. Awesomepants!!

[Steve_McQwark]

Most of my conversations with myself are about things I’m working on; reminding myself of what I’m doing. “I need to do x, but first I have to do do y and then z.” Unfortunately, that leads to a lot of vocalized criticisms when I make mistakes - “C’mon, man, get it together”, “Seriously!?”, that sort of thing.

Years ago I was training a new programmer who was taking over some code I had written. We were in the test lab and I was troubleshooting a problem while she watched. I finally found the bug. It was tiny little thing that was causing way more damage than one would have expected given its size - kind of like a fire ant. I muttered, “If my IQ was two points lower, I could be the state tree.” Out of the corner of my eye I see the new hire’s face freeze as she tried not to laugh. She had only known me a couple of days so she wasn’t sure if I was crazypants or acceptablepants. Fortunately, I’m mostly acceptablepants and we ended up becoming friends.