Olivia Goldsmith wrote a book called PenPals about a white collar crime/ ‘country club’ type I-go-to-trial-and-get-slapped-on-the-wrist and from reading that I don’t want to go to prison for any amount of money.
Revernge, maybe. Money, no.
If someone could garantee me that I wouldn’t wind up Big Bad Buba’a man-bitch; I’d do it for a mill.
I can’t see doing it. I would hate to lose a year of my kids life while they are young. When I was in the service, I wanted to get out before I had kids because I didn’t want to be away for 6 months or more, I can’t see doing prison time just for a cash out. Cash does not equal happiness.
Jim
$1 Million if in a minimum security. Especially if I can start earning interest while I’m doing my time.
No amount for anything heavier.
I’m interested that few, if any, have mentioned the source of the money.
Would it make any difference to you? Would you do a year for a few mill if that came from insurance fraud? A bank? Crazy old Great Aunt Maud? An orphanage trust fund?
The low end of the spectrum would have to start with “Fuck You” money levels. We’re talking ~10 million. This is the minimum amount of money necessary to divorce yourself from society and never have to take any crap from anyone ever again(thus the appelation, you can say “fuck you” to anyone, anytime). It’s about what would be necessary to divorce yourself from the consequences of a felony record in regards to job seeking and providing for yourself and your family.
Personally I’m conflicted. Minimum security prison for one year can’t be all that much worse than a lot of the dead-end jobs many people work for their entire careers. Some of the maximum-security prisons? Those would give the “hot tar, five bucks an hour” jobs a run for their money. I can’t think of any amount of money which would entice me spend time in the Texas state pen. system.
It’s an interesting thought experiment and it would probably hinge on the intangibles not outlined in the problem statement. Would you be allowed visitation from family/friends? Would they be allowed to share in the secret of your true innocence or would this require your wife and children to think you were a felon as well? What type of crime would it be? One which carries a big social stigma like rape? These are big deals and would have much deeper/longer ramifications than the creature comforts and room and board considerations. No amount of money would entice me to enter into lifelong deception of my wife and children to make them think I was a rapist.
Enjoy,
Steven
From the OP:
If I had no kids, or if they were grown and self-sufficient, I would do it for 5-10 million. But I couldn’t bear to miss out on a year of their young lives especially when they couldn’t really understand why I would do it.
Oh, sorry, should have read better.
Really?
$100 a day is only $36,500 a year. That’s not poverty, I grant, but it’s not really extraordinary wealth. You wouldn’t have to work, perhaps, but you wouldn’t be summering in Nice and wintering in Aspen…
About $10 million. That’s enough that I can live on the interest indefinitely. Might not be summering anywhere fancy, but it’s enough that I could spend all day writing. I’d do a year in prison for that, easy.
I’m inclined to say “yes” as a matter of practicality: I have no current responsibilities that have to be attended to for the next year. I suspect I’d do aiight in prison on a basic survival level of both physical defense and social interaction, I have enough family and friends willing to give me emotional and spiritual support while I’m in prison, I’m sure I can get regular conjugal visits. I’d spend the year planning how to invest and manage the money well once I get out.
Ethically, though I don’t see a rationale for putting me behind bars, jeopardizing my right to vote, likely losing my teaching certification, adding to this countries already overburdened prison system, giving up my freedoms, rights and liberties, not even for civil disobedience but for a money. I can’t imagine the hurt my family would endure by the stigma of any one of us being in jail: we’re a family of preachers and teachers, not jailbirds. I’m not opposed to selling out, but if I were, this is the kind of thing I’d be opposed to.
Yeah, I can be bought. But I decline to find out for what amount.
Well, I used to have this job. And the job sucked. It was boring, and there was lots of overtime, and owing to a merger we had all been told we could not use any vacation time during the summer (IMO the only time to ever use it), and normally under those kinds of conditions I would have quit, except I was pregnant and needed to maintain the insurance. Plus it can be hard to find another job when you’re pregnant. So I was stuck in my office for 14-hour days. (Actually, even worse–about half the time I was in other peoples’ offices, reviewing contracts, then I would go back to my desk and see what had stacked up during the day.)
Across the way was a halfway house where people lived for about six months after getting out of prison, before being released into society. From my desk I could see them, sitting on the porch, listening to the radio with their feet up on the railing, shirts off, barefoot, napping, drinking Pepsi and smoking cigarettes, playing cards and reading books…and they were in jail. Where was the justice, anyway? They looked HAPPY. They looked CAREFREE. Whereas I might as well have been chained to my damn desk.
That was when I started thinking seriously about robbing the bank…
Like others have said, it would take at least $10M, because I wouldn’t be able to work again in a job I would like. I would actually have to say at least $20M because my kids are young, and a year away from them and my wife would be an eternity. Oh, and it would have to include conjugal visits. 
A year in prision? More than a million, assuming that I don’t get a criminal record. I’m thinking like the warden allowing GOB Bluth to just enter the jail in Orange County.
The Survivor thing? I’d do it just to compete for something like $10,000. I think it would be a hell of a lot of fun, win or lose.
Real prison, not for all of Bill Gates’ money, with Steve Jobs’ money thrown in for pocket change.
Now, if I would be assured of not having to withstand family visits, not have to leave my at-least-500sqft cell if I didn’t want to, and got high speed internet, I might consider it.
I don’t want to do things like that. As long as I can spend time and money in NYC.
I’d also ask for a rent free NYC condo on the Hudson.
Everyone seems to be concentrating on the prison time as the main issue here. The year physically in prison is a lot less worrisome (for me) than the “permanent felony record” part. Assuming this is permanent that’s a soul killer for life in society and essentially destroys your ability to be employed. For professionals it essentially obviates your ability to be decently employed, and effectively wipes out your investment in your education.
It may sound odd, but I want a background that can pass anyone’s muster.
So after the fact - rich felon or middle to upper middle class non-felon? How many expensive clothes can you wear, how many luxury cars can you drive and big houses can you live in that make it worthwhile to be a convicted felon, and to have your investment in your education and status as a trustworthy person destroyed?
There just no amount of luxe (for me) that balances a stigmatizing and damaging criminal record.
No but life is kinda like a bologna sandwich. The more bread you have, the less bologna you seem to get.
Heh…this kind of reminded me of an old Doonesbury strip, right around the time Zonker won $23 million in the lottery. Zonker was telling Uncle Duke that the money wouldn’t change him, and that he still intended to finish medical school. Duke asked him why he went to medical school in the first place, to which Zonker replied “to make mon- oh. I see your point.”
My thoughts:
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For some reason, I’m thinking I would go SuperMax if I had to go at all. You know that saying “hell is other people”? I’m thinking hell in prison would definitely be the other prisoners, even in the fluffy Martha Stewart type prison. The tipping point on SuperMax would be whether or not I was allowed access to reading materials.
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A lot of money. I already have a fear of going to prison for a crime I didn’t commit, so I think I could turn down even large sums of money. But what if I had a pressing need for 1 million right away, like if a loved one needs medical treatment that costs $1M. I certainly don’t have $1M sitting around, so there are circumstances that would make me lower my price.