One of the bloggers I read posed a series of hypothetical questions I found very interesting. She discusses a client another lawyer had who was convicted of embezzling $250,000. The client could not come up with any money for restitution, and just got out of prison recently. The former client now drives a “much nicer car” than the public defender that defended her at trial. To quote the blogger directly:
That struck me as an interesting question. What amount of money would you need buried under the back porch and waiting for you before you’d agree to do a year in prison? Let’s remove the idea that you stole the money from the equation; no amount of money would make it worth my while to steal. So let’s imagine that we’re in eccentric billionaire wager territory - you agree to spend a year in prison and a permanant felony record even though you committed no crime, in return for a payoff of $X when you get out.
The Survivor comparison is cute, but not really apt. Survivor contestants spend approximately a month under those adverse conditions and can leave pretty much at will (I think they can just quit if they want to). Of course once Richard Hatch does his time then he can do a direct compare/contrast for us.
But no, 250K at this point wouldn’t be worth a year in prison and a record. A million might be closer to the mark, but probably you’d have to multiply that by five or ten.
There’s not enough money in the world for me to spend a year in prison. Even if it was waiting for me, buried under the back porch. Even if I had no prison record when I got out. The idea of being locked up for a year makes me nuts. No way.
I would do it. I’m good enough at saving and dealing with money that I could live on (a tax-free) 250k for my entire life, so the job thing would be a non-issue. Also, I am pretty good at keeping to myself and not picking or getting into fights so I don’t think I’d get jumped. And, free medical care! And meals made by somebody else! And no dithering about what to wear or wondering if my jumpsuit makes my ass look big!
Actually… is this a serious offer? Please say yes.
I would not do Survivor, however. First of all, it is outside and I hate the outdoors, unlike the comfort and security of a jail cell. Second of all, I would not do the eating challenges, there is no way I would do them, so I would get kicked off in the first round. And last it is filmed and I don’t much care for being on camera.
I’d probably take at least $5000/day, so $1,825,000.
That for the Golf Club variety though. If we’re talking Supermax then you’ll need to deal with my agent directly and the signing bonus is gonna be hellacious.
Country club minimum security prison: I’d do a year for seven million.
Federal supermax prison: I’d do a year for ten million. (One caveat. I need books to read. As many as my family can ship in to me. All of the other usual rules can apply.)
Regular state max security prison: No amount of money would make me to willingly. I’d pass up a billion to not go. (This might change if I didn’t have a family to worry about.)
Are we talking country club, or Federal Pound-Me-in-the-Ass prison?
If I were sure I’d make it out alive and unraped, I’d think that my price would be about $5 million. It’s enough money that I could support myself for the rest of my life in reasonable comfort (I’m young and have few assets), so I wouldn’t have to worry about the felony record keeping me from a good job. But even if I were offered that sum, I don’t know that I could overcome my fear of prison to do it.
Provided we’re talking about a relatively mild prison, I’d do it for a sum that would enable me to continue leading my current lifestyle off the interests. If we’re talking about American Supermax prisons, there is no sum that would make me do it. In fact, I can’t imagine what you’d have to offer me to get me to do that.
Due to my age and to the income damage that jail time will cause, I will need at least $5,000,000 before we can begin to discuss it, with the amount changing based on the crime and the facility.
Starting your own business would eliminate most employability issues. You would have more than sufficent assests to cover some hefty loans so you wouldn’t even need your own money.
I wouldn’t do it. I have enough money right now to be comfortable and having a prison record would fuck up my career. I’d rather have a job I like than a big wad of cash.
Interesting book about life in prison: You Got Nothing Coming: Notes From A Prison Fish, by Jimmy Lerner. It’s about a white-collar guy who ends up in Nevada State Prison. It’s well written, and gives a very interesting look into what prison is like from the inside. (It sucks.)
Why is it not possible to go after the fellons money for restitution even after they have done time? Shouldn’t the law be to pay up and also do time for the crime. And why can’t they be pursued later for the money (so long as they can’t prove what money the now have didn’t come from elsewhere than the crime itself).
Now for a hyperthetical money for time in prison scenario, of course I’d do time if I really NEEDED the money. Now I have no need of money (of course more would be nice but why even have $1000,000,000 for a year in jail if you don’t NEED a billion).
If I was 70 years old and had no money for food and medical bills, a year in prison would be fine. But I wouldn’t break any of my moral rules to get the year in prison and money for it.