I live in the UK but since it’s a hypothetical answers from all juristitions are fine.
Say I’m sick of the rat race, I just want to live the rest of my life in a room provided by the state with food and clothing provided by the state, and I don’t care about the discomfits and loss of liberty of prison. I’m a basically decent guy so I don’t really want to do anything harmful but I also want to burn my bridges and virtually guarantee a life sentence. I don’ty have any underworld friends, know anyone in the crime business or have access to a lot of money. I also don’t want to be sent to a psychiatric or supermax prison. What would the best, least harmful crime I could commit be?