How not to watch a movie (lame...)

The BBQ Pit
1

My family rented some movies for the three-day weekend. There are a few things that are required for this to work successfully.

We have to watch them before they’re due back. Since there’s no time once school starts again (Tuesday) we have, effectively, 3 days. Stop telling me, “I want to watch that too; don’t watch it yet.” Last time we did this, we had to return one without watching it, which is just a waste of a variety of resources, including money, time, and… ok just those two. But still.

We have to watch it continuously from beginning to end, as much as possible. If the filmmakers wanted there to be a long pause while you answer the phone, which ends up taking 20 minutes, thus ruining the flow of the movie, they would have informed us. No respect for the artists that make these movies. :rolleyes: Adults these days.

We have to respect each other’s intelligence, specifically, their ability to read. No one in the family is younger than 12, and we can all read with remarkable accuracy, especially short phrases like “Los Angeles, 1951.” Please don’t read them out loud. This includes opening credits as well. “Oh wow! Julianne Moore! I didn’t know SHE was in this. Oh wow! And Ed Harris!”

We need to listen. Maybe you’re getting a little old, and I know our sound system isn’t that great, so perhaps this is no one’s fault. But when I have to repeat what a character just said, I miss the next thing they say, which only leads to annoyance and ultimately, chaos.

We need to learn how the DVD player works. I know. They didn’t have these when you were a kid. But I’ve seen you work a CD player. It’s remarkably similar. Case in point: When we started the movie, it had somehow been automatically set to French, a language which none of us knows. Despite repeated attempts by both me and my sister to demonstrate the beauty of our player’s design, which allows you to solve this problem with two presses of a button, my dad really really wanted to fix it himself. It’s a pride thing, I think. “OK, now just TELL me what to do.” :rolleyes: No. RTFM, telling you isn’t our job. Finally my sister got the remote somehow. And then SHE did it wrong. I believe you can return to the menu, then go to the language (or audio) menu, on any player. But ours has another option. You can switch it right in the middle of a scene, by pressing the Audio button on the remote, then just hit the “|<<” button to go back to the beginning of the scene, saving a lot of time menu-hopping. Insert rant about the menus themselves, while we’re at it.

This is way lamer than I expected it to be. Oh well.

2

You’ve hit upon a pet peeve of mine.

Just because the phone rings is no reason to drop whatever you are doing to answer it.

I can understand if you are expecting and important call, or you are oncall for your work and have to be available. But barring that, let the damn voicemail pick up the call. People and events that are in front of you take precedence.

3

At the movies:

Homer: Hey, I think that guy’s a spy!
Marge: Of course he’s a spy. We just saw him go through spy school.

4

Watching movies with my mother is always a rare treat. She’s one of the smartest women I know. She has a Masters in english and is going for a doctorate. Put her in front of a computer or movie screen she turns into an idiot.

“Why did that guy go there?”
“Who’s that?”
“Why did he do that?”
“I thought he was a good guy”
“What did he just say? Oh…well what does that mean?”

ARGH.

5

I hope your family never goes to see movies in the theater . . .

6

I’m tempted to print this part out and give it to my mother. Part 2 applies to Tivo as well… it’s quite possibly the most simple user-friendly interface EVER but I regularly get calls saying “how do I see what’s on right now?” or “how do I pause it?”

Yeah… the big yellow button in the middle of the remote that says pause.

7

One word: Netflix. I’ve had movies sitting around my apartment for about a month now. I just haven’t had the time/inclination to watch them. I’m going to today and tomorrow, though! I feel a little guilty about paying for a service I’m not using as much, but at least I don’t have any late fees!

My mom…I adore her, but will she ever learn to use the DVD player? They’ve had the thing for over two years now! Oh, and the last time I visited my parents, in October, they’d just switched to…I don’t know, some fancier version of cable. It took me about ten minutes of fiddling around with the new remote to figure out how the thing worked. My bet is my mom is still asking my sister to turn the TV on and off for her.

8

What is it with people? Do you hit 40 and lose all abilities with minor electronic devices?

My mom doesn’t want a DVD player cause, “They’d be too complicated.” Nevermind that the most complicated thing I do with mine is open the tray, put a DVD in, and press Play.

Oh, I also navigate around the menu and, like, turn on the commentary sometimes. Woo, these crazy modern times.

9

This is how learning electronic works around our house:

Me: Learn almost instantly, occasionally need to look at the manual
Dad: Reads manual, learns quickly (he’s a technician, so he’s good with electronics)
Mom: Good luck.

When Mom needs help with the computer, it’s usually either somenthing that is ridiculously simple to me (granted, I use it the most, so I’m pretty good at solving problems) or something is completely F-ed up and no one has a clue what to do. However, this can work in my favor, as I can pretty much monopolize some electronics. I got a free electronic databank because I was the only one who understood it :smiley:

10

I’m confused. Wouldn’t you feel guilty about using a service without paying much for it? I mean, if you watched a DVD the second it came in the mail, and sent it back the moment you were done, thus getting through dozens of movies each month for only $20 (or whatever the fee is), then I would understand you feeling guilty, but this seems backwards. Unless you’re paying with someone else’s (e.g. your parents’) money, and you feel guilty for using it. Otherwise, I think I got whooshed.

11

I’m glad I’m not alone. Years ago a friend of mine was trying to contact me and I didn’t have voicemail. When he got me on the phone he asked whether I’d been out during the day. I said I hadn’t. He said he’d tried to call me a few times and got no answer. I told him that I was reading and couldn’t think of anyone I wanted to talk to more than I wanted to read my book, so I didn’t answer all afternoon. He was kind of offended and the general consensus among my friends was that it was pretty odd behaviour. With the advent of voicemail and caller ID I answer the phone only when I feel like it.

12

TJdude, I think Kyla was saying she feels guilty that she’s spending $20/month on Netflix when that money could be paying for food or rent or necessary oral hygeine products. (That was not a hint or anything.)

13

That’s a pet peeve of mine, too. I also post at the TWoP board, a MB for discussing TV shows, and quite frequently posters will say, “The phone rang and I missed the last 15 minutes. Can someone tell me what happened?”
“My friend called and I missed the scene with…whatever. Can someone recap that part?”
It just amazes me that people will like a show enough to post about it, but will miss out on it just to answer the phone.

14

Note to my wife: in the past five years that we’ve been living together, you may have noticed that I don’t just sit in front of the TV watching whatever happens to be on. It is therefore a reasonable assumption that if I’m watching something, especially if it’s a video, DVD or anything I had to make a specific effort to watch, that I have some measure of interest in it. Please stop constantly asking me “Is this interesting? Is this interesting?” when what you really mean is “there’s something that I want to watch, is it ok if I change the channel?” Since most of what I watch is pre-recorded, I’m usually ok with waiting until later, but the passive-aggressive shit really pisses me off, especially when you then complain that I go off to do something else instead of watching your program with you. You know why I do that? Because it’s not interesting!

15

I have to admit that I don’t learn things as quickly or as easily as I used to. (I’m 46, BTW.) I’ve found that I can’t remember things after being shown or told once. I have to repeat the action several times, and sometimes I NEVER seem to get it. I’ve also decided that some things are simply not worth the trouble to learn, as there will be a new version/completely different technology in six months to a year. So I’m not going to spend the time and effort to master the latest, unless a) it’s something I WANT to learn or b) something that I think will be useful almost immediately, and stay useful for more than two months.

On the other hand…my husband and daughter have both had college-level IT courses. But when something goes wrong with anything electronic, they bellow for ME, because I can, if I put my mind to it, eventually figure it out. Or I can find out how to fix it on Google. So I guess I am still capable of learning a few new tricks, but only a few.

16

Lynn, that’s me, too, almost to the letter (I’m 47). Especially the part about not bothering to learn new stuff if it’s just going to be supplanted six months later.

Actually, now that I think of it, I’ve given up on popular culture (music, celebs) for that exact reason.

17

Since you’ve posted that you’re using a DVD player, have you considered turning on subtitling? I’m a youthful 27 (that’s still youthful, right?) and I frequently turn on subtitling as soon as a movie starts, if only so I can still understand the dialogue if people start talking over the movie.

On widescreen films (and you are watching widescreen and not fullscreen, right?) the subtitling generally is in the black bars, and neatly complements rather than detracts from the movie.

18

Ugh, pet peeve time.

My husband and I tend to have his sisters and their families come over and watch movies. We have a decent-sized TV, a good stereo/surround-sound system, and a ton of DVDs.

I wish they’d tell the truth and say they’d rather come over to talk loudly and (depending on the sister) drink a fair amount. I can’t remember the last time I’ve heard a full movie through when one of them has been over. My husband is very gregarious too, and so if his sisters start chatting, he’ll usually join right in. I’m typically the dissenting opinion, so I usually wander off and go play on the computer since I can’t hear the movie, if I’m not into the conversation that’s going on.

One sister-in-law will be watching the film, and ask questions about why the character is doing something - even if it’s the very first scene and no one’s been talking over the film yet, so it’s not that she’s missed anything. Hell-o, just watch the damned movie and you’ll find out! Or she’ll start being boisterous, then her teenage daughter will start literally shrieking at her to be quiet so she can watch the film (usually preceded by a series of loud “Mom!” squawks, repeated at least a half dozen times), which just gets her mom going even more.

Yes, we do have a DVD player so I could turn on the subtitles and still understand what’s going on, but I like to hear the voices, the music, the sound effects. For me (as a hearing person, mind you), that’s part of the full effect of the film. Watching the extended DVD versions of the Lord of the Rings was not improved by squealing about how hot Viggo Mortenson and Orlando Bloom are, or endless repetitions of a joke about something my husband said about one of the actors, and so forth.

19

What drives me batty are my mom’s editorial comments on movies. Typically things like, “What does she expect, wearing that outfit!” or “C’mon, give me a break” or “Morons!” Look, you don’t like the movie, go in the other room.

20

Sorry for continuing the hijack, but man, me too ! I really hate when you call someone and they pick up the phone and say “Sorry, I can’t talk right now …” So why did you pick up the phone ? Grr.

I almost never pick up the phone and my friends know it. It has certainly broken them of the habit of not leaving messages when they call.