Please note: this is a factual question only and not intended as a criticism of recent Board policy or current management. It was obviously sparked by the recent brouhaha over what constitues acceptable and unacceptable language here, but is not intended to further those discussions: there are plenty of extant threads in which to do that; please don’t hijack this one and have it locked. Thanks.
So, just how unacceptable is the word “cunt” in the US? From the tenor of recent discussions, it seems to be to Americans the Deplorable Word, a conversational atomic bomb which is the epitome of offensiveness. Here in New Zealand - and in Britain and Australia - it’s certainly offensive, but doesn’t arouse anywhere near the outrage I’ve seen on this Board. It’s at the end of the insult scale, out past “fuck”, but similar to the word “bastard” is also capable of being used respectfully or even affectionately: “What did you want to do that for, you silly cunt?”.
Like the words “dick” and “fuck”, “cunt” as an epithet is pretty much wholly connotatively detached from its denotative meaning: as an insult it doesn’t really refer to a woman’s genitalia, any more than “fuck off” means “go away and have sex”. Calling someone - probably a man; it isn’t quite detached enough from what it denotes to use it to a woman, unless I did want to be very offensive - a “cunt” is just a generalised term of abuse, only differing in its strength from calling them a “bastard” or even a “motherfucker”: to me, and probably to most men brought up in a British tradition - the words “arsehole” or “wanker”, while they’re certainly not as strong as “bastard”, “cunt” or “motherfucker” differ in that they can’t be used respectfully or affectionately.
Apologies if this is unnecessarily detailed in its use of examples, but connotative meaning is quite hard to pin down without specific contextual, and a word may well have conflicting interpretations depending on its setting. That’s why the American reaction to "cunt’ intrigues me, since from what I’ve read and seen here recently - and contrary to the British tradition, where it is just a slightly bigger weapon in one’s swearing arsenal - here it does seem to be wholly and extremely negative, the ne plus ultra of offensiveness.
It’s my impression that in Britain, Australia, and New Zealand, it’s not a terribly offensive word; along the lines of bastard, as you say.
In the U.S., however, to most people it’s probably about the single *most *offensive word in general circulation. It’s pretty much unforgivable, especially if used against a woman. If you want to end a friendship or start a fist fight, it’s probably your best bet.
I think it really is the ultimate, here in the US. It carries heavily misogynistic baggage, which may be why. I am sure there are subcultures and smaller groups of friends that have appropriated it and use it as casually as you describe, but they’re not the norm.
The nuance is less “reference to women’s genitalia” and more “you are a slimy hole useful for nothing but men’s mindless gratification”, which as you can imagine also carries something of “women are insignificant and/or useless except for being [passively] fucked.” Assholes, at least, have one other major purpose.
Describing an actual woman’s actual genitalia using the word is not necessarily such a bomb-dropper and not necessarily so misogynistic, although it is generally thought obscene.
It’s generally considered extremely offensive. This has come up before because of this board’s international reach, and some non-American English speakers were pretty surprised at how Americans reacted to the word.
In my experience “cunt”, unlike most other obscenities, rarely appears in conversation in the US. I’ve been in environments where you’d hear “fuck” this and “fuck” that every day, but not “cunt”. There are probably exceptions, but none that I’ve encountered. It would not be used as an affectionate insult for another person. You’ll sometimes hear it as just another casual term for a woman’s genitals (“My cunt always aches during my period”), but this is fairly rare and still likely to offend others.
My experience is that people will get pretty mad if you call them a cunt, but that you can use the term in reference to anatomy or in a joking sense without greatly offending people. It’s certainly not as bad as saying “nigger” which will pretty much get you mugged and/or run out of public office in any context.
Some people seem to have a particularly strong negative reaction… others (like some feminists) seem to have decided that they’ll make the word into a positive thing by sheer force of will. So I think you have to base your use of it on context/audience.
I agree with the others; it’s similar here in Canada. I’d have to say that ‘cunt’ has the emotional charge of ‘nigger’ or ‘paki’… definitely not something most people use in jest.
I would agree with lissener. “…it isn’t quite detached enough from what it denotes to use it to a woman…” This is a gross understatement here.
There is huge sensitivity in the US on this word and it is shocking in most contexts, especially anything public.
A year ago, Jane Fonda was being interviewed on a morning news show. She mentioned an invitation she had had to perform part of “The Vagina Monologues” stage show. On the show, she said, “Then I was asked to do a monologue called ‘cunt’, and I said, ‘I don’t think so. I’ve got enough problems.’” This raised a huge stink followed by many apologies. This is just an unacceptable word to say on US broadcast television, even though she was simply quoting the name of a play. Even Bono got a pass for saying “fuck” as long as he wasn’t talking about, y’know, actual fucking.
When used by a woman to describe another woman, it also carries some “Damnit, you’re setting back all of women’s lib by acting like such a slimy hole useful for nothing but men’s mindless gratification; get some self-respect!”
There are damn few words I don’t use. I rarely apply offensive words to people. I almost never use the B-word to describe a person. Saying “That’s a bitching idea” is very different from calling a person that word.
I never use the C-word in any conversation whatsoever. I cannot image a situation where its use is appropriate. If anyone had the audacity to call me that word, I would have to use every bit of self-control to leave the room before punchng them out. If it were used at work, I would definitely file a formal complaint.
I have never heard it spoken aloud.* That’s how bad it is (or how sheltered I am). I would not say it or type it.
The person I despise most in the world is a malicious, spiteful, corrupt bitch. I feel the word adequately describes her. Still I wouldn’t use it. That’s how bad it is.
Not talking about movies, but about actually hearing a person say it.
Cunt is more offensive than fuck, shit, piss, or cock, and somewhat less offensive than nigger.
But, you know, all this is dependent on context. You’d never hear any of these words on mainstream television. But I suppose there are specific contexts – non-professional, non-public – in which you might not be too shocked to hear some of them.
Seconded. It’s so offensive in the U.S. that no one ever says it. It’s kind of an awkward word to say, too; you can put a lot more emphasis in, for example, “motherfucker”.
Valete,
Vox Imperatoris
ETA: Yeah, I guess “nigger” could be considered more offensive to a black person. Still, it is used in casual context quite frequently.
Is bastard really offensive in Austrailia and New Zealand? We are sort of off-handed about it in the USA. We rarely use it in its legal sense, but often use it to describe intentionally unpleasant men. It’s never used for a woman.
I once - in a business meeting, mixed company- said of a female business associate “she’s a dumb cunt, pardon my French”.
I had rehearsed the moment for weeks, I needed a way to let everyone in the room know just how deep my hatred for her was and how little respect she deserved and I didn’t want to rant as I thought it might hurt my credibility.
