The only time I’ve ever given a cat a bath was for a flea dip (a house we moved into was infested- :eek: ), otherwise they keep themselves clean, and mine are strictly indoor cats.
I agree with the others, just take a wet washcloth and wipe his hiney. 
Upon reading this, for some reason I immediately had this vision of tossing the bagged cat into the washing machine. The care label on the cat: gentle cycle, warm water rinse, tumble dry. Do not use bleach. Do not dry clean. 
Try going to precisepet.com. This website has more info on their products, plus a function that allows you to locate a store near to you that carries the products.
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A longtime, devoted can fancier turned me onto it. The cornstarch absorbs oils and clings to gunk in the fur so it brushes away easier. The cat has to enjoy prolonged, gentle brushing for it to work. Dew had really thick, long fur so it helped keeping it clean. And since the cornstarch was dry he didn’t mind it. (He had very strong, negative opinions about anything that made his fur wet.)
There’s probably something better on the market now–this was almost 20 years ago–but it was a workable home remedy.
Veb
P.S. Don’t expect the cat’s fur to look glossy when you’re done, though.
My mom’s 8-year old cat, Kissu, had never been bathed. Being generally an outdoor cat, she would get into all sorts of dirt, and I guess she wasn’t too good about cleaning herself so she was always pretty dull-looking. Mom wanted to bathe her but Kissu can be a little fierce, so we took her to a groomer.
When we went to pick her up, they were just taking her out of the cat dryer. She needed a bit more drying, so they used a hand unit. The groomer really knew how to handle animals because Kissu (who hates other animals) was surrounded by:a dog on a table, a dog on the floor, two cats in a crate, and a dog in the next room. Kissu looked like: :eek: but she didn’t move a muscle.
She came out pretty cute, I think. It was money well spent.
Our dearly-departed Caliban had severe scoliosis and her body was very stiff, so she wasn’t able to groom herself properly. We had to give her a bath every couple months or so, because the skin near the base of her tail would get itchy and flaky and she couldn’t do much about it. Fortunately, she was small enough that it took only two people to give her a bath in the kitchen sink (one to hold the cat and one to do the bathing, with cat shampoo).
Her son Tybalt (the size of a Maine Coon and a full 24 pounds of solid cat)… well, let’s just say that our only attempt to bathe him at home (when he was covered with fleas) was a three-person, one-cat melee that ended up with me in the emergency room getting a tetanus shot and treatment for a puncture wound that went clear into the space between two finger joints.
Most cats don’t need baths unless they’ve gotten into something noxious or need treatment for fleas. If you want to bathe a cat, you need to have a minimum of two people and a room from which there is no easy escape. Gather up all your supplies ahead of time (I find it’s easier to get two small bowls, pour a blob of cat shampoo into each and mix the shampoo with a cup or so of warm water, so you’ll have the stuff already diluted for spreading on the cat) and get the water running and at the proper temperature before you catch the feline and shut the door. You will need at least two large towels for drying the cat off afterwards. Have one person hold the cat under the water while the other one makes sure the fur is completely wet (avoid the face). Put the pre-diluted shampoo on the fur, work in thoroughly, and then rinse. Repeat with the other bowl of shampoo mixture if the cat is very dirty or has mass quantities of fleas. Otherwise, use your hand like a squeegee and get as much water off the cat as possible, then have the person who washed the cat wrap a towel around it and hand it to the person who was holding the cat, and then pick up the other towel. Transfer cat and soggy towel into the dry towel and rub the cat as dry as possible.
Be prepared to have a feline who hates your guts and plots revenge for quite a while afterwards.
I had to give Conan three baths in the space of a week. A big tree got blown down in a windstorm a few weeks ago and apparently made a hole in the roof, which Conan found but maintainance being too lazy to climb up a ladder and have a look, swears doesn’t exist. So he got inside the roof and got filthy. Three times before I finally took the pet door out of the balcony door. I feel bad, not being able to let the cats out for fresh air and sunshine, especially Schrodinger, who had done nothing wrong.
Anyway, when the cats still had their balcony privileges, Conan would get bathed whenever his fur started to look dingy- he’s mostly white with grey markings, and when the white started to look a bit grey, he’d get a bath. Conan hates baths. He struggles, he howls, he HOWLS, he tries to escape, he HOWLS… fortunately, he doen’t need a full bath that often. Usually, I can just wipe him down with a paper towel that’s been dipped in soapy water, then again with one that’s been dipped in clear water, and he tolerates that much better.
Schrodinger has dandruff- not a pretty sight on an all-black cat. He gets a bath every few months to keep the white flakiness down. He’s a bit more sanguine about baths- he’s actually a bit more sanguine about everything, really- he does try half-heartedly to escape, but is much easier to bathe than Conan
I bathe the cats in the bathtub, with the bathroom door closed. Mom absolutely refused to participate in cat bathing, so I always have to be the bad guy.
Conan is actually quite forgiving about the whole bathing thing. As soon as his fur is dry, he’s back wanting his person to pet and cuddle him.
Schrodinger has a longer recovery time. The first time I gave him a bath, he actually hissed and growled at me when I came to him with a warm towel and tried to make nice. He usually takes until the next day before he decides he still loves his person.
The last times, I’ve tried that, he just dug his claws in my back (YES, MY BACK) and climbed up on my shoulders to get away from the water.
So, he can wash his own damn self, as far as I am concerned.
This has been around awhile, but I think it’s appropriate
Dear Sir/Madam: Please forward to cat lovers everywhere who, like
myself, are very concerned about their hygiene.
Thoroughly clean the toilet.
Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water, and have
both lids lifted.
Obtain the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the
bathroom.
In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both
lids (you may need to stand on the lid so that he cannot escape).
CAUTION: Do not get any part of your body too close to the edge,
as his paws will be reaching out for any purchase they can find.
Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a “powerwash
and rinse” which I have found to be quite effective.
Have someone open the door to the outside and ensure that there
are no people between the toilet and the outside door.
Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both
lids.
The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet, and run outside
where he will dry himself.
Sincerely and with much Love
The DOG
In normal circumstances cats do not need to be washed but in the case of obese cats who cannot reach certain areas it is advisable to wash the cat or at least those areas it can’t reach. It is also important for your cat’s health to keep him at a good weight. I’m surprised your vet has not put Norman on a strict diet.
Now I had heard that Maine Coon cats LOVED water!
That one sure didn’t! Maybe nobody ever told Dewey he was a Maine Coon cat, not that he would’ve cared anyway, being of very strong-minded, independent cast of mind. There were times I wondered whether he knew he was a cat. But he had the proper, royal feline attitude that’d HE’D decide what was catlike, thenk you veddy much.
Silly critter.
Veb
My two 14 year old cats have never been bathed. They’re 100% indoor.
I, too, have a fat cat that can’t reach her back or her butt while bathing. her back has dandruff, and her butt…well, it gets smelly. So every couple of weeks I do a mini-bath. I put her in the sink, use some gentle cat shampoo, and only scrub the places she can’t reach.
Midnight’s tail has been paralyzed ever since we got her from the shelter (she was 6 months old then), and she can’t feel anything in it (even without that tail, though, she still lands on her feet). As a result, she often gets things stuck in there, and is unaware of it. So sometimes we simply have to clean her. Once a month, or every other month, at the outside.
The first time, Pepper Mill did it completely naked, which astonishes me (none of our cats are declawed), but I later did it in my underwear. Midnight has gotten used to it, and generally submits, albeit with ill grace. I’ve described the process on these Boards before.
That’s why I bathe my cats in the bathtub- more leverage than in the kitchen sink, more wettable area (I use the bowl of shampoo water method), and I can close the bathroom door to prevent escape.
I actually have a lovely scar in my , erm, cleavage from trying to bathe Conan in the sink. He’s declawed in the front, but still has his hind claws, and he knows how to use them…
I may be completely off base but I believe I heard somewhere that cats should only be dry cleaned. :eek:
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