Between this thread and the Confederate sticker on the car thread in Great Debates I’m beginning to realize why schools have zero tolerance policies.
Not mention having the boy on a sex offender list for the rest of his life.
You people have issues.
I don’t care how many times you repeat it, this wasn’t sexual assault.
On this board you are dealing with a largish population of people who got bullied in school and never managed to put it behind them. Their rage and shame burn as hot as if it happened yesterday. When they opened this thread it felt like they had been pantsed all over again.
My money is on the people who are most strident in trying to maximize the seriousness of the event being part of the above group.
Heh–on the contrary, I found out near the end of my high school career that a decent proportion of the other students were terrified of me (they thought I was a gay Satanist with occult powers, and there’s no exaggeration whatever in what I’m typing here). I’m perhaps not one of the people trying to maximize the seriousness of the event, but I do think that a referral to the police would be appropriate, and let the police decide what to do.
You simply did not read the thread, if you are asking this. I gave my response to that question, in great detail, and it did not involve police. Please scroll up and read it.
I was responding to someone’s position that there could be no reason to be upset by being pantsed, and that anyone who was must be a drama queen who needed therapy. My post provided examples of situations wherein yes, a person might legitimately be upset about having her pants pulled down, because it could be seriously humiliating. As if such examples need to be provided, though apaprently they did. It’s not necessarily just harmless fun as some would have it.
Next time, make the effort to read the thread so we don’t have to provide you with Cliff’s Notes on page 6.
Not quite:
She’d need comforting = there is a reason for her to be upset. She’d only need therapy if she continued to freak out over it. If someone did continue to freak out over something like that (like for more than a week of feeling a bit hurt), then there probably are underlying issues that therapy would be needed for.
If it happened to my daughter, I wouldn’t tell her it was no big deal, but I wouldn’t act as if she’d been sexually assaulted, either, and then call the cops on the boy. Man, that’d be a great way of ensuring that my daughter never again told me about anything bad happening to her at school!
FWIW, I also have a ten-year-old daughter and am a secondary school teacher. Suspension and loss of fun privileges like the prom, plus perhaps some sexual awareness training for the boy if it were done in a particularly nasty way - that’s what’s appopriate, and, importantly, that’s what’s more likely to be effective.
One school I taught in had a big problem with ‘peanutting’ - students pulling the ties of other students uncomfortably tight. It was sometimes done among friends in a silly way, and sometimes it was part of a bullying campaign, which affected how we dealt with it. From the POV of some on here, almost the entire school should have ended up with criminal records.
The post I was replying to, in its entirety:
He clarified after being called on it. My post was giving reasons why a person might be more lastingly upset about it and would not deserve to be called a delicate flower and a drama queen who needs counseling. Such a stance is as absurd as saying the boy who did the pantsing should be in jail. Hyperbole does no one any favors in these discussions.
Well, it’s a good thing I never said anything about sexual assault or calling the police then, right? But I have to wonder if you’d take a different stance if the boy in question had been tormenting her for months, and had done or said sexually inappropriate things to her in the past. Context is everything.
Exactly what I said. If you’d read more than just the last page of the thread, you’d know that. Can you see why I would be aggravated then when people are attributing to me views that I never expressed or endorsed? I never said sexual assault. I never said call the police. Just that being upset about it might not be a ridiculous response. So please, point that thing at someone else.
I’m undecided about the situation in the OP, but doesn’t your comment actually support the other side? If what you say is true, then it shows that an incident like the one in the OP can have far-reaching effects and can scar the victim for decades. That would put the offense far beyond a bit of a lark causing short-term embarrassment, and into a much more serious category.
Scumpup is saying that a lot of people on this board hold onto the bullying from high school as if it is the single most important thing to ever happen to them. And often, they seem to get themselves worked up over the torture they endured, but can never pinpoint any specific instance of bullying.
Exactly right.
Er, are you the only person on this thread now? LOTS of people on this thread have advocated calling the police. I was referring to them.
My stance wouldn’t change even then. I mentioned that he should be sent for counselling if this pantsing were done in a particularly nasty way, and I include in that the possibility that it was part of a long-lasting bullying campaign. I still couldn’t count pantsing as sexual assault. TBH, if he’d been bullying her for months then pantsing would probably be the least of our problems.
Actually, I have read the whole thread; this is my third or fourth post on it. And again, I shouldn’t have to say ‘this part is directed at other people on the board’ for you to realise that. After all, you’d clarified your own position only two or three posts back, and I can read. Why would you assume every comment in a post was directed at you personally? Honestly, why would you do that?
Because I am the only person you quoted directly. If you don’t want me to think you’re talking about me, don’t quote me. Or be more clear. Or both.
The thing about calling the police is, that doesn’t mean the kid will be arrested. It certainly doesn’t mean the kid will be convicted of a crime. It allows the police to decide if there’s been an assault or any other illegal action. Plus it’ll hopefully scare the hell out of the kid and make him (and any other bullies) think twice before doing something so egregious. So I don’t think calling the police is terribly unwarrented. Let the professionals decide if the adult student broke the law. That’s not the responsibility of the HS staff.
StG
I spent the weekend pantsing some at the mall. Does that count?:rolleyes:
Pssst…it’s not sexual assault, no matter how many times you keep saying it.
It’s assault. It’s not sexual assault.
He should be suspended for a week and he should probably get a stern lecture from a couple of cops. I don’t think criminal charges are really warranted.
I happen to know that at least a few of the males responding strongly in this thread are large, bruising types who were probably more likely to have been bullies than to have done any bullying.
On this board you are dealing with a largish population of people who often don’t subscribe to the idea that certain things are okay in the way that society usually does.
Exactly the sentiment that I expressed earlier. This man-child needs a healthy dose of the fear of the law.
Another excellent point.
You don’t know quite as much as you think you know if you believe that being big prevents one from being a target of bullying.
I stand by my assessment. The most hysterical responses in these bullying threads always come from the people who cling to their resentments dating all the way back to childhood. Lots of people get bullied. Not all, or even most of them, choose to spend the remainder of their lives gnawing at the wounds. Those who do show up in threads like this with pitchforks and torches in hand.
You restated your position (no police involvement) in the exact post I was quoting. I couldn’t have been referring to you when I talked about legal charges, could I? Unless you think I’m too stupid to read the post I’m quoting, which would be in line with you accusing me of not reading the thread (despite me having posted on it three times).
There was nothing in my post which claimed you were talking about sexual assault charges, or pointed out anyone in particular. It was really, really, really obvious that I wasn’t referring to you personally, and it’s a little odd that you chose to get annoyed over it, telling me to ‘point that thing at someone else’ (whatever that ‘thing’ might be).
It kinda fits that it’s in this thread that someone is getting a little oversensitive. 
Well, sure. It’s come out in several threads that I’m 6’4" tall and over 250 pounds. Clearly, I’m the bullying type, right?
In 8th grade, I was 6’4" tall, but weighed only about 150 pounds. I had experienced a massive growth spurt. I was clumsy, uncoordinated, and generally a pacifist. Because I was a large target, I was tripped, spit on, beaten up, and otherwise abused the whole year long, sometimes right in front of teachers.
The things that caused physical pain are not the ones I remember with crystal clarity 35 years later. It’s the ones that caused humiliation. Having a big crowd hang out at the top of the stairs and spit on my as I walked underneath, for example. Being pantsed would have been one of those humiliating moments.
I said more likely.