Pitting double standards: Boy bullied, stripped by girls, video posted, no charges

Seems to me if this were three boys doing this to a girl there’d be hell to pay.

The mother is not pressing charges but it was my understanding the state can still prosecute if they want. They have all the evidence they need, the cooperation of the mother is not required.

Not only was the boy bullied (which I thought as a nation we were trying to stomp on) he was humiliated far beyond the event itself by having a video of it posted online.

The mother is content to let the girl’s parents punish them. The school begged off because it did not happen on school grounds (I am pretty sure I have heard of schools punishing students for conduct not on school grounds).

Also, isn’t publishing the stripping of an underage boy online count as child pornography?

Look, I am not advocating for the girls to spend their lives in jail. They are young as well and kids do stupid shit. Adults should still send a message that stupid shit carries consequences and it should be something more than hoping their parents will punish them (given how the girls acted I am not sure I have faith in their parents’ ability to parent). I did dumb shit at that age too but it never remotely involved something like this. I was raised better and knew better even at age 11.

But again, if this were three boys doing this to a girl I am betting there would be an outcry for the boy’s heads on a platter.

Bullying is bullying. That boy will be dealing with this probably till he leaves for college in 7 years as the kid who got stripped by girls and had his humiliation posted for all to see.

Fuck double standards.

I’m not going to knock on the mother for not wanting to press charges. I’m sure she doesn’t want her son to have to testify and go through the circus/aggravation of a trial. I’ll trust her judgment. That said, I hope she gave him a big hug that night and told him: “Son…remember what I told you about not hitting girls? Forget what I said.”

That kid is going to be fine. In a few years it’ll change from an embarrassing story to an erotic story.

Double standards are alive and well. :rolleyes:

Three girls, eh?

Nicely done, bro! High-five!

It’s sexual assault. The girls should be arrested.

I wouldn’t want their lives ruined, but they should be punished in a manner that sends a message, frightens the perpetrators, and they should probably pay restitution to the victim.

And then watch when he gets punished while they don’t, even if they come after him with weapons and all he does is try to fight them off and escape.

Nonsense. I was attacked by girls a few times in school, and it never turned into an “erotic” memory.

The DA probably doesn’t want to prosecute if the boy isn’t willing to cooperate.
I’m a bad parent. I’d plot revenge.

Would you say the same with genders reversed?

Dumbest post I’ve read in a while, or at least the most presumptious.

Almost no one would say the same with the genders reversed. We’d be calling for society to punish these kids, but good.

I can’t say for the other poster, but I would never blame the mother of a girl for not pressing charges personally under such a circumstance. I would, however, blame the prosecutors for ignoring a clear and flagrant criminal offense.

I am puzzled that they said the girls potentially faced misdemeanor battery charges.

If three boys did this to a girl would they only be charged with a misdemeanor? I am guessing not but IANAL.

I agree that the girls should be arrested, whether or not the victim wants to press charges.

I took it as him/her being glib. I wouldn’t read too much into it (but I may be wrong).


Yes, no difference. If it was a girl, I’d feel the same way if the mother didn’t want her to have to face a trial. It’s about the victim. Not the perpetrators.

The real issue (as others have pointed out) is whether there is a double standard on our feelings towards the perpetrators. I’m still thinking through that.

Of course there’s a double standard. It aint right, but it’s a fact. Being the defendant in a battery case is pretty damned dehumanizing under any circumstances. Imagine, as a young man on the cusp of puberty when you’re pretty much all fucked up in the head regarding - EVERYTHING - but especially your own masculinity / identity. I think it’s a crying shame that a mother has to forgo seeing justice done rather than risking another victimization of her son, but I can sort of understand her thinking. Would it be different if the crime wasn’t battery but theft or destruction of his property or something? Sadly, I think in Society’s eyes it would.

My understanding (and anyone correct me if I am wrong) is that the victim does not need to “press charges”. The State prosecutes crimes and they do not need someone to make a complaint to do so.

In practice someone not pressing charges may mean it is harder to make a criminal case. I wonder (and do not know) if the State can subpoena people for testimony in a case like this.

Regardless of the above (which I ask for curiosity sake) I think the State has enough evidence here to make a case without the mother or boy’s participation*.

*Occurred to me: Don’t the accused have a right to face their accuser? Can the State be the accuser or must the girls have the right to see the boy in court? In that case can the State compel the boy to show despite his mother’s wishes? (Again, I do not know, asking but I am curious how that works.)

I wonder if his being a minor supercedes the law. In my state (Florida) the accusor is compelled to be in court but not the defendant.

I always wonder when I see a story like this with over a thousand Facebook “likes” what exactly do people like about it?

I think the “confront their accuser” thing is actually about having the right to confront and challenge the evidence presented against them. If the evidence is not provided by the victim, but is instead something like a video of the incident, then they have the right to confront that evidence, and to argue that it has been altered, that it was improperly obtained, that it misrepresents what happened, or that it fails to show a crime being committed.

Also, in cases like this, the State itself essentially becomes the “victim” of the crime, and therefore the accuser. The prosecution represents not just the particular individual who was the actual victim, but also society or the people. The criminal prosecution occurs on behalf of the people, not on behalf of the particular victim of the crime.