Fascinating that so many people don’t see this as a big deal. Can I safely assume that it’s cool for me to rip your daughter’s/wives’/sisters’/own bathing suits off at the beach? Because you wouldn’t want to ruin my life or anything, would you? I’m sure a good talking to would suffice.
What was the girls response? Screaming bloody murder? Coy giggling? We need to know if she could have been in on a joke.
ETA.
Honestly? I think the appropriate response would be to stare at the offender like he’s an idiot en masse until he feels really, really uncomfortable.
If someone did it to someone I was related to or knew well? To be honest I’d probably do the same thing to the offender (maybe muttering “moron” as well), and then proceed to lightheartedly tease the victim for the rest of the day (unless they took it really badly, then I’d just not mention it again).
Pantsing is an incredibly stupid prank, it’s outdated and completely relies on the old humor of underwear/bare bottoms being funny that most people left behind at 12. It’s embarrassing for all of 15 seconds and then it’s over, and it generally says more about the prankster than harms the prankee. It’s nowhere near the level of holding people headfirst out of 2nd story windows or swirlies. Now, if this was happening regularly, or with some sort of motive other than “for the lulz” it’d warrant a more serious response, but as a standalone, isolated, prank it’s pretty weak.
I dunno, are you and my wife really good friends, and you’re getting her back for the time she pantsed you at the mall?
When I saw the thread title, I came in here swinging, as normally its something 6-year-olds do, and I assumed this was an overreaction.
Tbh, I’d leave it up to the girl with how far she wishes to push it.
If this kid is a bully who has been regularly harassing other students for a long time, especially if that harassment has often had a sexual element to it, then yes, that’s exactly what should happen.
If this is a first offense or horseplay that got out of hand, something less serious but still serious enough to get the kid’s attention and make it clear to him that what he did wasn’t acceptable should be done.
hes in HIGH SCHOOL as a student
he is not an adult under these circumstances, if you think otherwise check his rights as a student.
hes treated like a child all day
and surrounded by other children all day
punish him, make sure he understands how insanely stupid this was and the consequences ofr that kind of thing in the real world, and maybe point out that high school isnt the real world.
Not my thread, but I thought it might be interesting if folks added their gender, age, and perhaps whether they had children/daughters.
I’m 48, male, married with 3 kids: girl (21), boy(19), girl(17)
Will also be interested should KRM come back with more facts.
If one of my daughters were to come home upset over something like this, I would have a hard time restraining myself from beating the crap out of the kid. If she mentioned it in passing that it was not big deal, that would affect my response. I also would be less inclined to do the kid harm if he were facing serious repercussions.
My guess is that some women - maybe most - might think this no big deal. But I’m also pretty certain a number of women/girls would be extremely upset by this. Hell, most guys would be pretty upset about being publicly pantsed. And the person being aggressive towards someone does’t get to say how their victim ought to react
So, what?
The kid ends up working at Walmart for the rest of his life because he did a stupid thing at a particular point in time? If he had waited a few months then the consequences would have been much lighter, and not ruined his life?
He deserves to be punished, but not to lose his whole future - no-one benefits from a young life ruined over a stupid prank.
I think he needs a wakeup call that this is completely inappropriate. If, as someone mentioned above, this was a job he’d be fired from it immediately. I completely agree with that. But to expel him for this isn’t at all comparable. If what we’'re talking about one really stupid decision then the goal is to punish him in such a way as to let him know how stupid it was and ensure it never happens again, not destroying his educational chances.
And getting the police involved? 18 to 16 year old is within many jurisdictions’ window of an exception to statutory rape. In other words, the law considers the “adult” close enough to kid age that he be treated as a kid. This won’t necessarily be the same in this case, though. So to have him face the very real possibility of being branded a child predator for the rest of his life does not seem like a fair outcome. I’m sorry that the system is so haywire to have come to that. I really don’t like that I’m advocating ignoring getting the law involved because the law is may be completely out of touch with reality.
My vote still goes with suspension. If I hear a better alternative that (metaphorically) slaps the kid upside the face, I’d love to hear it.
Dio, how would you feel if the situation was reversed and it was an 18 y.o female pantsing a 16 y.o male in full view of everyone? Would you still consider it to be a big deal?
Why should the girl have fewer rights because she’s in high school?
That seems about right to me.
Labeling this as a sexual assault seems extreme to me. It was horseplay that went too far, but it was still horseplay. Then again, we now live in a world where peeing behind a WalMart earns you the same legal status as a rapist.
In case many of you have forgotten, seniors act a little loco, especially at this time of year. The condition usually clears up by the following October.
At the very least the idiot needs to be made extremely aware that, in the eyes of the law, he is an adult and better start acting like it.
Yes. It doesn’t carry the same level of physical inimidation, but it’s still humiliating, and it’s still an assault by an adult on a minor.
What Anne Neville and Enderw24 said.
On preview: tdn said “seniors act a little loco” at this time of year. Yeah, I remember that. It usually involved the students doing stuff that would usually get them expelled, and the teachers looked the other way. If pantsing now qualifies as harmless fun that minors should endure until the seniors graduate, then yikes.
Ok, fair enough.
Personally I think that getting the police involved is a little over the top, but we don’t really know the circumstances surrounding it so maybe we aren’t in the best position to judge it.
Assault and battery at a minimum. Sexual assault etc. Felonies.
I was intentionally vague in the OP because I was also interested to see if people’s views differed depending on the male’s history. I won’t go into detail but I will say that he has been in trouble in the past and some kids regard him as a bully, others do not, my son included. In his defense, he has been through more personally than any child deserves. FWIW, he’s a junior.
I’m not certain how the girl reacted. I know that she did cry but my son indicated that some of that might have come from her reaction to an administrator who also witnessed it (the administrator was indignant to say the least).
No, but people regularly find actions by members of their peer group acceptable, that would be entirely unacceptable if done by a stranger.