Not because I’m a nonpatriot, mind you, but because it’s in awful condition.
I am pretty sure the flag was flying when he bought the house, and it’s in serious disrepair now. The ends are frayed (individual stripes wave in the wind) and it’s horribly faded.
How can I get him to take it down and have it disposed of out of respect for the flag? And will the local VFW handle flag disposal, or should I contact some other organization?
I need to do it without being accusatory, smug, impolite, or otherwise offensive. Gimme some good lines I can use to approach the situation. It’s not offending me horribly, but I am sure there are veterans, etc in my neighborhood who drive by and are disappointed to see the flag hanging in such a state.
“[Firstname], I’ve always admired your patriotism, but I wonder if maybe it’s time for a new flag? That one’s looking a bit tattered.”
Is your relationship good enough with him that you could just tactfully suggest it might be time for a new flag? Or is there a veteran you both know, whom you could put up to the task? Might mean more, coming from him.
Or you could just buy the guy a new flag as a Flag Day (June 14) or Independence Day (July 4) neighborly gift…?
The VFW and the Boy Scouts both have dignified flag-burning ceremonies. Ask around.
Do you know this person or is this the first time you’ve ever met? That might change how you approach the subject a little.
Around here the American Legion will dispose of a torn, frayed, or old flag for you. If all else fails, they may even approach the neighbor for you, but I’m a big believer in trying to talk with him yourself first. “I appreciate that you’re flying the flag, but it looks as if it may have seen better days. I think the AL (or VFW) will dispose of it properly when you get a new one. They have them on sale at the [insert appropriate store name here].” If they aren’t too expensive and you know the neighbor, why not make a gift of it?
I have thought the veterns should get together and go around to places that have worn out flags telling them it’s a disgrace in that condition get a new one.
[hijack]At the last place I worked, the office manager was very careful to replace the flag as soon as it started to get the least bit tattered, except that she wasn’t able to find a Boy Scout troop that did that sort of thing, so she collected like half a dozen flags in the two years I worked there.[/hijack]
Also, there’s a flag store near me that had a US flag sewn in the US of US-grown cotton, if you’re really obsessive about this sort of thing.
For the flag of the United States, it’s first cut twice leaving the field of stars untouched (as they represent the 50 states, they should not be divided), the pieces are then burned in a respectful manner, and the ashes buried.
Scouts (Boy and Girl) should be happy to do it for you, but they’re usually ran by frazzled parents that don’t know and are having a hard enough time trying to figure out what to do with their kids. VFW would probably be the best choice.
It’s not really a matter of the OP “not liking” how his neighbor displays the flag. The US Code, Title 4 Chapter 1, says "The flag should never be fastened, displayed, used, or stored in such a manner as to permit it to be easily torn, soiled, or damaged in any way. " It also says, “The flag, when it is in such condition that it is no longer a fitting emblem for display, should be destroyed in a dignified way, preferably by burning .”
Clearly the OP’s neighbor’s flag is a violation of the US Code. I don’t know if the Code is enforced in any real way, but it’s not a personal aesthetic preference that makes the OP correct in his feeling that the flag should be replaced. It’s respect for the flag, which has been codified for just this kind of situation.
True, but since even contemptuous burning of U.S. flags has (properly, IMHO) been found by the Supreme Court to be a form of political “speech” protected by the First Amendment, the Flag Code is now purely advisory, IIRC. Good and valuable advice, but not legally enforceable.
I couldn’t agree with you more. Anyone familiar with Santa Monica knows the huge flag that has flown for decades at 26th and the 10, and it’s like the one you describe; faded and with tattered ends. And it’s about the size of a basketball court. Bleh!
I find the disposal rule fascinating, but then I suppose that Americans value/show off their flags a little more than us (some; girlfriend doesn’t seem to care too much, I know the flag-waving American is probably just a stereotype).
All I can find about disposing our flags, is that Union Jacks (Naval flags) condemned for further RN use cannot be used of as Union Flags, they must be ‘torn up into small pieces and disposed of as rags’!
But back to the OP, if it bothers you enough to question how to do it here, then just tell him what you think in a non confrontational way. Perhaps suggest helping him find a new one, as others have said.
It’s my family’s dogs’ birthday too. Sort of like how all race horses turn one on New Years Day, all of the dogs in our house had their birthday on Flag Day.