Someone in the Pit told me that I’d actively cooperated in the molestation of my own children. Not like “you’d molest your own kids, you pervert,” but in a thread where my actual children had been mentioned, and a relatively non-controversial aspect aspect of their upbringing discussed, so their reality was not in doubt. He said that I’d personally “performatively” cooperated in the actual sexual molestation of my own children.
This poster said it, and meant it.
Can you imagine a worse thing to say to a parent? A more evil, horrible thing?
I flagged it. I told the mod about circumstances in my family, and how my children came to be my children, and how this was an especially unforgiveable accusation. And it was an accusation, to the point where, if this poster hadn’t been the type who thrives on anonymity, who can only display his true self in the dark, I would have had to take legal action. Especially given the circumstances of my family. I could not allow that kind of accusation to stand. It would have had to be refuted. I would have gone into debt to pay the lawyers. Whatever it took.
The mod didn’t think this was a violation of the “don’t be a jerk” rule (a rule he’s enforced before). Or the rule about personal trauma, I guess. Even knowing the circumstances.
I’d butted heads with this mod (as a poster, not a mod) in the thread before. I think I was quite reasonable (as did a surprising number of posters in the thread). He felt differently. So be it.
But I’ve backed off a lot here at SDMB after that. Obviously I can never mention my children here again, and that kind of sucks. I mean, I could have a cute story to tell, or a parenting question for those with more experience. But I can’t.
And, less importantly, I’ve put a poster on ignore for the first time in twenty years.
We don’t need the Pit, at least not as it exists and is run now. There is such a thing as going too far. And there is such a thing as mods letting it go too far, whether or not they have personal involvement in in a thread.
That kind of sucks.