As a trans woman, I’ve refrained from commenting because I wanted to see how this thread would progress. I also suspect that this thread is really about people like me. There’s an extremely pathologizing and invalidating “model” of trans womanhood, often weaponized against us, that claims that we are men and that we cleanly fit into one of two categories:
- hyperfeminine gay men who want to ensnare straight men
- crossdressing fetishists who want to ensnare lesbians
Even the word “deceiver” brings to mind an article in Hypatia about transphobic violence entitled “Evil Deceivers and Make-Believers”. I notice that Lumpy hasn’t returned to clarify, but I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt. Regardless, reading the OP was like a punch to the gut.
As an aside, every trans person I know who is actively dating opens up the conversation with “I’m trans. Is that OK with you?”
But to answer the OP: I’m regularly in situations where my trans-ness becomes apparent, but not immediately. Some of these situations have turned violent. I always have to be aware that my very existence can be misconstrued as purposeful deception. The person at criminally at fault is the one wielding the baseball bat.