ISN’T IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR SOMETHING TO STAND
COMPLETELY STILL? IF NOT WHATS THE SLOWEST
SOMETHING CAN MOVE WITHOUT ACTUALLY STANDING STILL?
Yes ZD13, your CapsLock key!
No, seriously, there is a certain degree of mechanical “play” involved with stillness. What we observe is the averaged out effect of randomness. Like the Selective Availability of GPS navigational signals, which have a randomly varying fudge factor introduced so if you stand in one spot and plot your reported position you’d be all over the place. But averaged out over time the precision improves.
So for slowness we’ve first got to establish a frame of reference and the temporal/spatial scope for agreeing upon acceptable results.
Who knows, maybe you are actually (moving)backwards too you know …
There are far too many Baldwins. The only Baldwin I care for is a piano …
On the atomic level, slow and coldness go hand in hand. Scientists were recently able to get a molecule within a billionth degree of absolute zero or nearly motionless.
Are we going to get into the uncertainty principle now? 
Glass is actually a liquid, as discussed at length by Cecil. Moves verrrrryyyy slowly.
No, no, no God no.
Glass is not a liquid. It is an amorphous solid.
The great alt.folklore.urban glass debate
Here’s a Mailbag article that briefly mentions this.
How come I can’t find Cecil’s column on this?
Gypsy: Tom, I don’t get you.
Tom Servo: Nobody does. I’m the wind, baby.
Ah, found it:
How come you can see through glass?
then
What’s equus eroticus all about? Plus: is glass a liquid or a solid?
It does flow very very slowly but it is not a liquid.
What if you figured out the sum of the vector of earth’s revolution around the sun and the sun’s revolution around the center of the Milky Way and maybe the Milky Way’s movement relative to the Great Attractor and sent a rocket out along the opposite vector. That rocket would be relatively standing still. I wonder if time would speed up any for it.
Yes, but of course, it would only be still relative to the Great Attractor. In physics especially, all motion must be considered in terms of specific frames of reference. In fact, that drunk guy at the bar swaying back and forth is actually perfectly still, according to his own oscillating frame of reference. The only question is, how the hell do they get the rest of the bar to sway like that?
I think I’d let this jackass go play by himself if I were you guys. I think this screen name has been banned previously. At least it shows as “unregistered” in these three threads.
http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum3/HTML/004665.html
http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum3/HTML/004800.html
http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum3/HTML/004844.html
All GQ topics and typed completely in caps back in January of this year.