First off, I’m a straight married male. I figured I’d get that out of the way.
For those of you who do laundry and actually fold the stuff is there some secret to folding fitted sheets that I’m not being told about? I feel stupid that I haven’t even made some kind of progress here in all these years.
I like my stuff folded nice. If you’re gonna do it, do it right, right? So I fold the pillow cases and the outter sheet (whatever thats called) and save that bastard that goes on the matress for last. Each time I attempt to fold it I get frustrated and ball it up.
Is there a product I can buy? If I face a certian lattitude and longitude do my chances increase?
One time our hard boiled eggs got mixed up with the regular eggs and someone told me to spin the egg like a top. The hard boiled eggs would spin and the raw ones wouldn’t (which makes sense now). So I couldn’t wait to tell my wife and whoever was over at the time and they were all like “pffft. no kidding. You didn’t know that?”
I’ll see if I can describe this properly. Fold the sheet in half. Turn the corner that is on top inside out so that the two corners fit together like stacked spoons. Repeat with the corners on the other end, then continue folding until it is small enought to suit you. It won’t fold as flat as the top sheet, but life is too short to worry about stuff like that.
Unfortunately, fitted sheets resist this creed. They’re an ornery bunch.
I fold corner-to-corner and then again, so all four corners end up pressed together, smooth it out as best I can, then keep folding until it’s the right size to fit the storage (shelf or cedar chest). It ain’t ever gonna look symmetrical, but fortunately the parts that are most wrinkled, the corners, are either out of sight or well-stretched out when in use.
Do like they said, fold in half and fit the corners inside each other. Then I like to fold both fitted ends toward the middle, but just a small fold over, to make the ends square. Jeez, this is hard to describe! Then fold like a flat sheet. It’s easiest to do it by yourself, flat on the floor. They never come out perfect though. But don’t sweat the small stuff!
Straight, white, single male here…and I already knew how to do this. Of course, I managed linens-and-housewares stores for years…
If you’re a real neat freak, get a stiff piece of cardboard about 12 inches square. After you fold the sheet in half and tuck the corners together, use the cardboard as a guide to get nice, neat folds, bringing those nasty, lumpy corners in to the center of the bundle where they’re hidden and planning it so you can slip the cardboard out when you’re done.
And no, I don’t do this at home. “Clean and neatly wadded up” is as good as it gets.
I’m not really in despair about it but God they must have twelve fingered elves packing them into the original package.
What about the egg thing? Is that common knowledge? I’m surprised that someone (the first person who thought of it) was able to keep their head in such a desperate situation.
I didn’t really know about the hard-boiled egg thing. In my defense, the only time I ever have extra hard-boiled eggs around they tend to be pink or blue and have bunny stickers on them. Makes it kinda obvious.
Not only the shitfight involved in folding the buggers, but also when they’re on the bed, they invariably go “boing”, leaving a very pissed off TheLoadedDog to wake up on a partially bare mattress, with a big, pink diagonal mark across my back from sleeping on the elastic.
My girlfriend is a fitted sheet devotee, and won’t use anything else, but I can’t stand the things. Give me a nice, crisp, heavy, flat sheet folded with “hospital corners”. Bliss.
I’m the fitted-sheet-folding Master. No ticklin’ or nothin’.
Foyst, some toyms:
The top of the fitted sheet is the part you sleep on.
The seams (there are four of them), are at the corners, between the top and the elasticated part.
The ends are the shortest edges on the sheet (unless of course, you have one of those mutant extended queens, in which case, you’ve actually got a square on your hands), that correspond to the head and foot.
The sides are the sides.
To fold:
Make a “roach clip” with both indexes and thumbs.
Making sure the elastic is not inside-out anywhere on the sheet, find an end and pinch the top corners, right where the seams stop. Hold the top against your body, elastic away from you. Extend your arms outward to the sides until the sheet end is somewhat taut.
Look down over the sheet and observe; if you’re tall enough, you will note its elastic looks a little like a big, rectangular shower cap. If you’re too short, get up on your bed so that the other end is not touching the floor and shake lightly to alleviate any slack or wrinkles.
Slowly lower the sheet until the other end is touching the floor or bed (if you’re standing on it). Step back slightly until the elasticated part is somewhat uniformly laid out.
Bend over to touch the corners in your hands to the ones on the other end and add them to your pinch.
Stand back up and shake the sheet lightly until the elasticated sides are roughly inside the fold.
Drape the doubled-over sheet, crease-first, onto the floor or bed. Put the corners down. This whole contraption should now look like a big capital D, rotated 90 degrees clockwise. Smooth and fluff to make it more “D”-like.
In summary: the crease is to the north, right side to the east, baggy corner end to the south and left side to the west.
Pinch the northwest point and southwest point and fold over onto the sheet, to the 2/3 mark.
Fold the east side of the sheet over this newly-folded part. Smooth it out.
You should now have a folded sheet, 1/2 lengthwise by 1/3 widthwise.
Grab the baggy southern end and fold it northwards to the 2/3 mark, then over onto itself. Smooth and fluff. (You may need to tinker with this folding stage, depending on the size of the sheet and the size of your linen closet.) The main point of this step is obfuscation, to hide the baggy end.
I gotta agree with roadrunner70. Why bother? But if you find yourself forced to actually wash the sheets, do it, then put them back on the bed. There should be no need for folding.
If you find yourself in the truly dire situation of needing to fold them, you probably have to fold other things also. So just fold the fitted ones in any random manner you choose, then put all the others on top. Soon, the weight of all the others will flatten out the fitted sheets, and voila (or as they say in France, “voila”), you have the appearance of good folding. Let gravity do the work.
I wash my sheets on my day off. I put them in the washer, in due course I remove them from the washer and put them in the dryer, in due course I put them back on the bed.
Once I got caught…a friend called me while the sheets were in the washer and enticed me to a show. When I got home, it was late and I didn’t feel like staying up to dry them and make the bed.
Um, ok, so I made, like, a roach clip, but then I got, like, aah, distracted you know, so, um, like what’s, um, next? Oh, uh ok, so I’m facing SSW right now, so I need to, like, turn the sheet and, um, whatcha call it?, uh transcribe or something your directions, so now I … uh …
Quietly crumples sheet up into a ball and throws it in the corner
I put one hand in the ‘pocket’ of a corner and fold it upon the opposing hand ‘pocket’. Once that is done, fold upon the original fold and square it up for final foldage. It’s one of those things better shown than described.
Mr. B should write iinstruction manuals for a living.
That’s exactly the way you assemble an entertainment center. This is why I dring a six pack before I start (folding sheets or assembling entertainment centers.)
