The evergrowing list project can be found at http://www.landroid.homestead.com/main.html . By all means, see it, and contribute!
The real difference between liberals and conservatives:
Liberals believe in civil rights…except for those civil rights they don’t think you should have.
Conservatives believe in the freedom of the individual…as long as the individual isn’t trying to exercise rights they don’t think should exist.
Would you prefer to be shot, or would you prefer to be hanged?
Liberals whine about how awful things are. They scream “Won’t somebody think fo the children?!?” and “We’ve got to DO something!!!” at the top of their lungs. They distort already-questionable statistics to fuel their whine-fests.
Conservatives fight bitterly against such tactics, except when it comes to abortion, where they use each of these tactics themselves and refuse to see the parallel.
And religion and guns and the death penalty and school vouchers and countless other issues.
the difference between Liberals and Conservatives?
Liberals protect small fuzzy things.
Conservatives protect the Big MegaCorp that sells the small furry things, not the thing itself.
>>the difference between Liberals and Conservatives?
True Liberals persist in wearing tie-dyed shirts. True Conservatives don’t. (Except Jesse Helms.)
Dubya, Gore comparisons at http://www.angelfire.com/indie/brainingdamage …come for the fish, stay for the fun
Liberals make themselves look good by calling Conservatives black-hearted, money-grubbing snobs.
Conservatives make themselves look good by calling Conservatives black-hearted, money-grubbing snobs.
Liberals point at conservatives and shout “You’re doing it all wrong! Our way is the right way!”
Conservatives point at Liberals and shout “You’re doing it all wrong! Our way is the right way!”
Moderates are some where in the middle, buying lots of earplugs.
Liberals spend loads of money on “focus groups,” “raising awareness,” “social analysis projects,” and the like.
Conservatives just give it all to Big Business.
Liberals believe in freeing your bodying and regulating your mind.
Conservatives believe in freeing your mind and regulating your mind.
Sorry, didn’t proof read the post. It should read:
Liberals believe in freeing your bodying and regulating your mind.
Conservatives believe in freeing your mind and regulating your body
As evidenced by reading the above thread,
Conservatives distort Liberalism to make it seem like a bad thing;
And Liberals can’t seem to get organized enough to effect any real change.
Also, all conservatives secretly meet once a month to rip the still-beating hearts from cute little puppies.
They manage to avoid the wrath of the pure-hearted liberals by doing this while the Liberals are busy deflecting rogue, earth-destroying comets by the sheer power of their own self-righteousness.
–John
The one I heard (it was a Libertarian party rally shown on C-SPAN) was this: “The Republicans’ greatest fear is that someone is having fun. The Democrats’ greatest fear is that someone is making money.”
Of course, considering how bleepin’ centrist the “polar opposites” have become, mabye that’s a bit outdated…
It helps if you understand that a “conservative” in the USA would be a “progressive radical liberal republican” by the standards of world history.
This is a liberal, republican political system by definition. The questions are: How far should we go with certain rights and liberties? And how far with the quixotic quest to purge “bad thoughts and practices” from our culture? And which thoughts & practices are bad?
I’m an oddball eco-centrist, so my answers don’t agree with either side. They’re all the same to me.
I hold some liberal views and some conservative views. I attempt to apply common sense, intelligent analysis and human decency to my views. I attempt to be a good human being rather than a good <insert irrelevant label here>.
That I call myself a liberal is merely a convenience, in that many of my views are held as “liberal” by the standards of my primary culture.
P.S. If you dont want intelligent comments, just a complition of liberal/conservative jokes, ask the mods to move this thread to IMHO or MPSIMS.
P.P.S. 
A conservative is a liberal who’s been mugged.
A liberal is a conservative who’s been arrested.
A conservative says “You can’t do that”. A liberal says “You can’t do that without my help”.
To throw the old quote in.
If you’re young and Republican you’re heartless.
If you’re old and a Democrat you’re a fool.
No, no no no no. It goes “If you’re not a liberal at 20 you have no heart, and if you’re not a conservative at 40 you have no brain.”
I think it was Winston Churchill who said it.
okay fine,
To throw the old misquote in… 