How to destoy a car w/o being suspected??

Factual Questions
1

Ok… I have quite an interesting dilema which I can not quite figure out how to take care of:

I am a 20-something year old student from a very, very humble background. Somehow, I landed a job as a personal assistant/ house cleaner/ caretaker/ jeeves about a year ago to an 83 year old multi-millionare. I get payed a pitance of a monthly wage along with free rent in return for helping him out. I’ve seen his portfolio statements, and he holds approximately 17 to 22 million dollars in stocks, bonds, real estate, and other investments. I could go into enough details to write a book about this cheap, racist, ignorant, perverted old man; however, I’ll spare you for now. My problem is that this guy is so unbelievably cheap that he makes me drive him around in his 1982 audi which is a real pile of cr*p. Even his millionare friends are embarrased and tell him to replace it with a new Jag or Benze. “Money’s too tight to buy a new car; I’ll just nurse this one back to life untill I die,” he tells everyone. He also is too cheap to pay for insurance, oil changes, or tune-ups on the car. That is nooo good for me if something happens when I’m driving him to his cocktail parties and lunchions. The only way that he’ll replace the car with a new, fully-insured one is if someone (hmmm I wonder who…) kills his clunker.

I’ve heard and studied up on the old “sugar in the gas tank, sand in the oil well” bit… but if he takes it to the shop and they figure it out, I’ll be on the steet. How can I totally destroy the car so that the mechanics can’t really tell??
I’m considering the following, but don’t quite know what the results will be. Please let me know what will happen or give me some suggestions:

  1. Honey/ milk/ sugar, molases, or other food product in the tank.
  2. I’ve heard linseed oil in the tank is undetectable and will do the trick. Is this true??
  3. Every time we fill the tank, I could put diesel or high octaine in.
  4. I’m almost sure the oil and coolant is already empty, but I could drain the oil and rev the engine untill it locks up maybe.

Thank you in advance for your feedback… the world may soon be a better, safer place for all of us.

2

The rules that you agreed to when you signed clearly prohibited asking for help committing crimes.
Unless “Destruction of private property” is legal where you’re from, you violated that with this post.
Please help this message board not get sued, and desist from posting further messages in this vein.

3

Can’t (won’t) really help you with your problem. But I just thought I’d mention that the thought of destroying a perfectly good Audi makes me sudder with disgust. Hence the user name.

4

5…, 4…, 3…

5

Oh, and if he carries no insurance on this vehicle, including liability, then that’s quite likely illegal as all get-out. Consult with your own insurance agent as to whether or not your personal policy covers you when driving his. If not, consult with a competent lawyer licensed to practice in your jurisdiction as to precisely how much crap you’d get into if you got into a wreck or traffic stop while operating this vehicle.

6

It, ah, wouldn’t happen to be a 1982 Audi Quattro, would it? Looks like a coupe, but with four-wheel drive, and faster than a same-year Porsche 911?

If so, you’re not just contemplating the criminal. You’re talking about murder.

7

Any bets on whether this is being posted on a computer traceable to the OP? (or even better, owned by his boss?)

8

+1 to that.

What about getting said old bastard to repair what is really a gem of a car. $10K to get it back in shape will be better than $50k for a new toy.

At least do us the favor of destroying it in such as fashion that someone will be able to salvage parts from it to restore another one.

9

2…1…