How to "fix" my workplace with the lottery $$$

In a conversation at work we were happy about our lottery wins that are definitely going to happen. Besides houses, cars, alcohol, and more, the idea of buying the office we work at came up.

The walls need repainted. New carpet would be nice too. To improve moral maybe we would hire a person to walk around and complement anyone they see and tell work-related jokes. Or maybe just burn the building to the ground.

If you won the lottery, what would be a nice/fun/vengeful way to change your workplace?

It’d be nice to install high-quality smartboards in all of the rooms. But to do that, high-quality smartboards would first have to exist. Are we positing that I’ve won big enough money to get the attention of someone at Google to get them working on that?

My plan was very simple. I would simply use my millions to provide incentives to attract another 800 pound gorilla into the local labor market. In my small town location, my employer was easily the dominant player. They didn’t have to compete for employees because we had relatively few, well paying options. Change that by bringing in another major player or two and watch management start to sweat about what will happen when the best employees start thinking about jumping ship.

And the folks downtown might even throw me a parade.

I own the workplace in question. I’d go in to get anything I wanted to keep, but that’s about it. Id sell/give the place to someone who’d promise to keep my current employees for one year.

To the CEO of my old company, a $billion would be noise. So I wouldn’t do a damn thing.
I might have bought a better coffee machine (Keurig) but that would have been about it.

Since I mostly work from home, I think I’ll start with a bulldozer.

A helicopter pad for when I arrive at work.

A friend of mine once said that if he won the lottery, he would:
Buy the company.
Bulldoze it.
Build a miniature golf course.
Hire his ex-boss to manage the mini golf course.

I don’t buy lottery tickets.

However, if I did, I also WAH, so I’d move out of this 2BR apartment into something a little larger, assuming I won a smaller prize which is much more likely.

I always pondered the idea of doing a nice large well done deeply discounted computer repair place. Pay enough that I would attract some solid talent, maybe even hire the whole staff/owners of other small PC shops for more than they were getting before.

Then watch the big players like the geek squad crumble as they could not compete with me.

I would fix my open-office workplace by flooding it with houseplants to afford visual privacy, a state-of-the-art sound-masking system, and a hitman to assassinate Chatty Bob.

You might think twice about that. My daughter rode with someone whose father was a founder of a company which IPOed. He started taking a helicopter to work, and it was an incredible hassle. Especially since he lived next door to a small experimental nuke plant.

Buy it and burn it

[li]Buy the joint[/li][li]Fire Bernie in accounting[/li][li]Sell it back to the original owner at a discount[/li][/ul]

This was pretty much my thought, except for “Bernie” read “most of top management”.