How to get hired on the spot

I have a couple interviews coming up for IT positions, one at a copier dealership, the other at a countertop factory. Is there anything I can do at either interview to make sure that I get hired on the spot instead of having to wait to hear back?

Probably not. If you’re the second of eight interviews they have scheduled that day, you’re not getting hired on the spot no matter how impressive you were.

You just gotta have gumption, kid

Walk right up to the boss man, put your hand on his shoulder, and announce, “I’m your man!”

First, get some good friends.

No. They are likely going to interview more than one person for the job. Some places may even require a second interview when they start to narrow down the potential candidates.

If you are desperate for a job, you should start looking sooner. In fact the best time to look for a job is when you already have one. I’m constantly looking for new opportunities even though I’ve been working at my current company for 7 years now.

Wear a clean shirt.

Wink, then tell them Big Louie sent you.

Works every time.

Ask to reschedule your interview for a couple weeks later, and hope to heck all the other candidates they’re considering suck? It won’t increase your chances of landing the job, but it might increase your chances of getting an offer right when you interview rather than having to wait to hear back, if that’s what you really care about.

The name is Dumass.

I was looking for jobs when I was still working. The problem is that I thought my contract would last until the end of the year, and told a lot of companies I wouldn’t be available until then. The contract fell through a few weeks ago because my company got involved in a dispute.

Tell the other companies you’re now available, and tell them why. Contracts fail and it’s no disgrace.

I’ve been offered a job on the spot once. It was for a contract position at a large software company. Came in, met the hiring manager. He asked me a few questions, I started laying out my answers on the whiteboard, and ten minutes in he asked me if I wanted the job.

He was hiring for three open positions, and with the one year maximum there’s only so much damage I could have done if it turned out that I sucked. But it was kind of nice.

I’ve interviewed several other times and was pretty sure I was going to get the offer, which was correct, but never offered the job on the spot before or since.

I have been offered (and accepted) jobs on the spot too including my current one. However, the only reason that happened was my good luck combined with their bad luck. My current company had to produce someone for a very important client with only two days notice and they knew that I was the only one that was available, qualified and willing to take it on such short notice. They never even met me in person until after they hired me. I got a phone call at 8 am one morning and had a new job by 10 based on nothing other than my online resume and a couple of rather brief chats with their head recruiter. I thought it might be a scam at first but it wasn’t. Both they and my client are top companies to work for.

The other was another large company that needed to assemble a whole team to start producing real results right away. The gave a technical test and were shocked at the very high percentage of people that they had given it to after multiple rounds of interviews failed it after all that time was wasted. They were running out of time so they decided to stop dicking around and make same day offers to anyone that could pass they test and acted presentable including me. It started out as a contract position but they hired me ‘permanently’ after the first year even though that was an offer I never should have accepted. I still ended up staying there for 4 years though.

These were very real, fairly high paying positions too, not some entry level position. It can happen but you can’t really control when or where. It is just a matter of circumstances that only they usually know before you get there.

I have also been strong along endlessly until verbally promised offers simply vaporized without an explanation. In one case, I had an actual offer and just had to contact my new manager for a start date. Neither she nor anyone else there would take my calls or acknowledge my e-mails so it goes both ways.

Step 1: Collect underpants.

Dress nice.
Groom yourself.
Smell nice, but not obviously and certainly not overpoweringly.

Pay attention!
Wide Eyes/Bright Eyes
Sit up straight
Don’t fidget or be looking off in other directions
Obviously present
Positive attitude

Answer all questions. Misdirection is your friend if you can’t, but don’t be obvious about it. (Ie, come close to answering the question.)

Don’t be snide, sarcastic or negative.
Treat the interviewer with respect even if you don’t think they deserve it.
No jokes.
No commentary on religion, politics, current events, etc.

If you haven’t done something they need, or have the skills they want, be positive about your ability and desire to learn those things and do those tasks.

Edit to add: I’ve gotten a number of IT positions over the years on the very first interview, including the one I have now. Back in the early 90’s when I’d been stupidly unemployed for six months and needed a job, I interviewed on Friday and started on Monday for one position.

Marry the owner’s son or daughter.