Yeah, excellent rant. Good feeling, clear, precise, accurate, heart-felt, to the point. 10/10.
Ah! OK, I feel really stupid for not having realised that I, too, feel annoyed when I get an amorphous mass of notes and coins in my hand. But if some people really do prefer that, I guess there is no way to do it well.
Can you think of anything cusomers could do to make it easier?
I mean, I usually pay by card, but if I do pay by cash I have my wallet right there open with the change compartment open, and if I get coins, then cash, I can tip the coins into the wallet, fold the cash, and put the whole thing away in about four seconds, but I suppose for some people it’s a major operation. I mean, I do really hate myself for holding queues, but it seems everyone holds up queues for a few seconds at some point, and if I have to pour the undifferentiated change into my pocket, haul up all the bags, walk outside, put all the bags down on the sidewalk, get the change out, put it away properly, I’m going to hate that too (and there’s not usually anywhere convenient to put everything down while I sort things out – I’m fortunate that I’m spry enough to easily put everything on the floor, but I imagine some people aren’t). Sorry for the derail, it’s just something that’s been on my mind (although now I almost always pay in card or exact change, so it doesn’t matter).
The grocery store is part of the epidemic of people not knowing how to act in public in general (see also: airports, malls, theaters, etc.), combined with a lack of respect for service employees whom many consider to be “below” them. I can suck it up and put up with these morons for an hour a week, but I don’t envy those of you that have to do so hour after hour, day after day, week after week. Hopefully you may take some small comfort in the knowledge that at least a few of us out there are trying to make things as easy for you as possible.
Must jump in with a rule I’m surprised hasn’t already come up:
Rules for cart traffic are exactly the same as rules for vehicle traffic! Traffic in the ‘main street’ aisle has the right-of-way over traffic entering from a ‘side aisle’. At a ‘T’ intersection, the carts in the top of the ‘T’ have the ROW.
At a store like Wal-Mart or Target that has wide aisles with displays in the middle, traffic moves on the right. Always. If the aisle you need to get to is on the left and blocked by a display, you pass the aisle, turn around the display, and then into your chosen aisle.
Oh yeah, you do not need to parallel park your cart directly in front of the meat cooler in order to see which package of chicken legs you want. There is a ton of room in front of most meat coolers; park a cart-width away so that other people can see/get to the meat. Same goes for produce racks. If you park in front of the rack and contemplate the turnips for 2 minutes, I WILL reach right in front of you (and say ‘excuse me’) to get my desired lettuce.
I’m the same way, but what I do is take an extra 3 seconds and push my cart away from register aisle with my change & receipts & coupons and over to the far wall and organize everything to my heart’s content.
I hate when people linger at the register putting everything away - I want to get up to the little card reader, put in my payment, and then start bagging my groceries, but I can’t do that if someone is standing in the way.
Don’t stack my change, and the receipt, on top of the bills when handing it to me. Give it to me one at a time. See, I only have one hand, and I have to put down my wallet to separate the pile into what goes where.
Fix the damn carts that wobble, squeal and pull hard left when pushed. I suggest you walk around the neighborhood and retrieve the good ones from the homeless people who apparently push test them before they steal them.
And, when I’m in the 10 item or less line, and the person in front of me has basket full of crap, please hold up 10 fingers and explain how many 10 is to that person.
Contrarilywise, if you are buying something for $5 don’t pay with a [CENSORED] $100 bill. In the department store I worked at we only started with $100 cash in the register, mostly in coins and singles, and if we hadn’t had any cash sales the only way we could get change was to run up to the cash office (in a 5 floor store) and beg them to break it for us. The nice people at the bank will give you small bills, and it’ll make your cash loaf look that much fatter than just a skinny stack of Benjamins.
Yes, this. I have no idea why nearly every item has to get its own bag. I always tell the bagger to fill up the bag as much as possible, unless it’s eggs or bread. Those can be separate.
If you plan to buy more than one or two items PICK UP A BASKET OR GET A CART.
And if you refuse to do this, that does not mean you don’t have to wait your turn.
the other night I was putting items from the cart onto the belt when a couple came up and started slamming down items on the belt - completely ignoring the fact that I still had half a cart to empty and was filling space as fast as it appeared. When I said ‘do you mind?’ The first gave me the stink eye and then muttered about how all the stuff they were carrying was heavy. Too bad! They tried several more times to shove items onto the belt before I was done. I was sorely tempted to beat them to death with an energy drink can.
Oddly enough, for all that they were carrying, they could have gone to the express line.
This should be instituted as part of some sort of Orwellian brainwashing program. Whatever it takes to make it stop. it’s pretty damned high on my list of pet peeves. I think people who abandon carts in the middle of parking lots will be surprised when they die to find that their corner of hell is right next to Hitler and the child molesters.
“But what did I do?!”
“Well, that shopping cart thing was a bigger deal than you thought, apparently.”
I’ve always said that if I ever suffer a psychotic break, it will take the form of camping atop a Wal-Mart with a sniper rifle and picking off people the moment it’s apparent that they are abandoning their cart. I realize the flaw in this plan is that I’ll only get to do one before the jig is up. But I’m psychotic, not sensible, okay? I guess the fallback plan is to follow the offenders back to their houses and choke them to death when they exit their cars. I think I could do that serially.
We use our own bags most of the time, but from time to time we’ll intentionally leave them at home, since the plastic grocery bags are vey handy for disposing of cat poop. So, the more bags, the better!
My usual store also has automatic change dispensers facing the customer. So the cashier hands over the bills and you grab the coins yourself. Nobody gets to complain about what order they were stacked.
As a former 12-year vet of the retail grocery business, I wholeheartedly endorse everything in the OP.
I would add: Please finish shopping BEFORE you get in line. If you forgot one or two things and you have a whole bunch of stuff, go ahead and run to get it. But the assholes who park their cart in the checkout lane, then immediately run off and come back 5 minutes later with an armful of stuff, dump it on the conveyor, then go back for more: FUCK. YOU. As a checker I would tolerate this the first trip, but when you went back for more, I’d cancel your transaction, dump your shit back into your cart and put it off to the side. I will check you out when you actually finish shopping.
It’s a terrible job. There were some customers who were cool, and the majority of them were neither good nor bad, they just wanted to get out of there (honestly, these were the best ones; just stand there, STFU, and pay), but the assholes and idiots just ruined it, even if it were just a couple of them a day.
In their defense, the cashiers and baggers are trained to do that, to protect against cross-contamination. Raw meat gets its own bag, fruits and veggies get their own bag, cleaning products must be separated from any food products, etc. Yes, it’s terribly wasteful, but it’s not like it’s an evil plot by the bag manufacturers to boost sales.
If you tried it at the Wal-Mart near me, I bet you could pick off at least a dozen before the cops show up. And if I were on your jury, I’d vote “Not Guilty.”
The store closes when the store closes. Don’t walk in 5 minutes before the posted closing time and think you can shop for an hour. Yes, coming in and shopping after 900PM can be great, and frankly I would encourage people to do it. There will be no crowds, no old people, no children, and you’ll more frequently than not have no wait at checkout. However, if the store closes at 1100PM, that’s the time you need to at least be checking out. I don’t care that you walked in the door before closing time, it is now past that time and I am going to either check you out right now, or I will lock you in here with the nightstockers (who can’t check you out) and leave. Your choice.
I, too, feel annoyed when I get an amorphous mass of notes and coins in my hand. But if some people really do prefer that, I guess there is no way to do it well.