I am a compulsive shopper. Some medicines that have been used as anti-convulsants have been found to reduce or eliminiate compulsive behaviors. I have tried two different kinds and both have done the job. (The first one I had to stop taking because it was difficult for me to swallow because I have esophagal problems.) The one I am on now is Topamax. I even forget to eat!
Despite the fact that I am trying to prepare for a trip abroad, I shop very little now and choose carefully. My bank offers a free debit card which I can use with all of the convenience of a credit card if I need to order something over the net or on the phone. But it comes out of my bank checking account and I pay no interest.
She must cut the credit cards up and, in your presence, close the accounts as a first step. Otherwise, she can order things over the phone by using the number from the bill that is sent her each month. Make it a happy and special occasion, not a sad or punitive one.
Catalogs that come in the mail need to go directly to a recycle or garbage bin in the back. Don’t even bring them into the house.
Go through the mail together when it comes in and remove everything that appears to be a credit card offer.
Ask her to go through possessions to select items to be sold on ebay, the classifieds, yardsales, or auctions. The money is to go directly toward paying off the debt.
Ask her to set a goal for something that she really wants – a trip, a coat, something really special in about the $500 range or more. Each month she is to put aside a certain about of money ($25?) into a savings account. When she reaches $250 or more, match her funds and encourage her to buy and enjoy the purchase.
She may be needing to feel more control of her life. Are there any ways that she can be encouraged toward that? (Exercise, for example.) And be sure to make this new direction into a team effort.
Again, I urge you and your wife to talk with a physician about the medications for compulsive behavior. I cannot tell you what a relief they have been to me – or how much they have helped my self-esteem.