how to keep a 21-month-old quiet during a long plane trip

In My Humble Opinion
1

Background: Two children. Son #1 just turned 5. Son #2 is 21 months old.

We are taking both of them on a plane trip from California (USA) to Switzerland (layover in Paris). We are travelling in coach. The flight from Los Angeles to Paris is about 13 hours, then another hour to Switzerland after we change planes. And of course same itinerary, but in reverse, for the return.

I have done this before with eldest son when he was 18 months old (only difference being a layover in London). For that trip we had a bulkhead seat and we put him in a small bassinet provided by the airline. He slept comfortably most of the night. However, we were stuck in the plane one hour on the runway in Los Angeles before taking off. On the return, we were stuck in the plane three hours on the runway in London before taking off. Both times my eldest son was crying almost the whole time. People around us hated us.

I am really not looking forward to this trip. The oldest boy is very easy-going. The second one is difficult (don’t tell anyone I said that.) What can we do to help him sleep in the plane? No bulkhead seat so we can’t get a bassinet, and I doubt he would fit in one anyway (the bassinet was almost too small for my 18-month old son on the previous trip.)

Things we have planned:
[ul]
[li]Benadryl to make them drowsy (I don’t like doing this much, but even our pediatrician recommended it)[/li][li]A doctor friend of mine is sending me a list of “natural” remedies to help him sleep[/li][li]Many books (both children love books)[/li][li]Portable DVD player. I know the airline will probably have a wide selection of movies but I want a backup plan.[/li][li]We are taking a car seat with us so the 21-month-old will be in a car seat for most of the flight, I assume. (Stewardesses seem to have different opinions on that - on our aforementioned previous trip to Europe, on one flight the stewardess said “he absolutely must be in the car seat” and on another flight the stewardess said “he absolutely cannot be in the car seat.”) I’m afraid that the 21-month old won’t fall asleep in the car seat at all.[/li][/ul]

Any suggestions, especially to help the 21-month-old fall asleep? If it helps you compose your post, we can call the 5-year-old J and the 21-month-old E.

2

If the boys haven’t had Benadryl before, you might want to do a test run at some point. In some kids it may cause excitation instead of drowsiness.

Note I am not a medical person, have no medical skills, have just read long flight horror stories, listen to your doctor, yadda, yadda, yadda…

3

Duct tape.

4

I don’t mean this as a rude question, but why is it necessary to take a fussy 21-month old on a trip to Switzerland?

5

IrreverentTone - thank you for the reminder. We’ve given him Benadryl before when he was sick and it did in fact make him drowsy.

silenus - I’m afraid that if I did that, he would have problems breathing, panic, and end up choking on his own vomit and dying on the plane. That would make me sad.

nongoog - Nothing is really necessary, now is it? In this case, grandfather, uncles, aunts, cousins are interested in seeing the baby. I would be happy to see my father, my brother, my nephew and niece. I’m not sure what would constitute an acceptable excuse in your view but those are my reasons.

6

Drugs. The Benadryl sounds like a good deal. Knock them out and keep them quiet.

Because 13 hours on a plane with a squalling child is hell on earth. Been there, done that. After the fourth hour of the little brat’s bellowing, the other passengers were yelling at the parents to shut the kid up. I’m surprised any of that family made it off the plane alive.

7

Booze.

What? It puts me to sleep!

8

I have given “goody bags” to parents of kids that age and older. I fill them with tiny snack bags (think 5 goldfish crackers), small inexpensive toys, etc. For slightly older children, I wrap everything individually so half the fun is opening things.

Are those ear equilibration things ok for kids that small? I think they are called “Ear planes.”

9

I just got back from taking my 5 year old and 1 year old on a 5 hour cross-country plane trip. I won’t lie, it was hell on earth and I felt terrible for all the other passengers within earshot. Benadryl was the only saving grace and my one-year old basically faked taking it twice as evidenced by it didn’t do anything, the pill we had was tiny, and we found pieces of it on her. On the return trip, I took over the medication responsibilities and had to hold her mouth like you would a dog and force it down her throat with my finger. It worked that time.

When my oldest was 25 months old, we took her to France. The trip over was expectantly unpleasant but nothing over the top. The trip back on the other hand was good awful. We had to take Alitalia yet again (the Italian state airline :eek: and not only the worst airline to shit on the world but probably the worst business ever as well).Good old Alitalia had us standing in one line after another from 4:00 am to noon when our flight finally showed up. We literally could not leave the various lines that Alitalia set up as the ultimate bureaucratic maze and we were all dehydrated, starving, and in desperate need of executing all other bodily functions.

My daughter was in terrible shape by that time and I begged any staff to give us some water of which they literally refused to give us more than 2 oz at a time for the family and my wife and I had to give it to our daughter. I would wait a while and go back for more. I have a passionate hatred for Italians to this day even though my wife is 50% Italian and my daughters 25%. I won’t let that get in the way of my favorite learned prejudice. If you are booked on Alitalia, just cancel the trip. That is just one example of many I have.

One hour into the flight, my daughter started screaming and I we top of the lungs wailing. It didn’t stop in the next 15 minutes and showed no signs of abating after 30 minutes. I had to do something so I just commandeered a lavatory and just stayed in there for most of the rest of the 5 hour ride to Boston. Every time, I would bring her out, It got worse. At least the seating in the lavatory was better than coach although the backrest on the toilet was a little too plasticy for my taste. There was no way anyone was going to tell me to leave the lavatory with her because the screams were still clear from the back of the plane.

We took her to the doctor the next morning and she had a bad ear infection that was aggravated by the pressure combined with severe constipation. The flight was literally hurting her the whole time.

Anyway, some people have it easier. Enjoy and have fun.

10

200 pairs of ear plugs. Board first, stay by the door handing them out.

Forget about keeping him asleep. Think entertainment. Portable DVD players (I hate those), books, toys and crayolas, etc. Have also plenty of snacks. Forget everything you believe about child psychology. That day, you are buying his silence in the worst possible way. You have the rest of his lifetime to correct the damage of these 2 days.

I have found that flying on their car seats does help to keep them asleep (mine sleep a lot on the car), as it is a familiar environment. Booster seats are not good for airplanes (they need 3-point seatbelts). Your 21mo’s seat should be ok.

Good luck.

11

I think it’s best that the family comes to you.

12

Sad, yes. But he would be quiet. And, that is the goal, right?

:wink:

13

The earplugs idea isn’t a bad one. Not the 200 pairs, but maybe a dozen? Handing them out to the people around you, should the wee one go nuts, might break the hostility. It shows you’re thoughtful.

I think Brynda’s suggestion is also good–numerous entertaining things, hopefully some of them new, wrapped so the tot can kill some time unwrapping them. Also good are snacks that are time-consuming to eat (like cheerios).

Another piece of advice I once got, but didn’t follow, was to offer a sucker to the kid. Yes, it’s sugar, but what a treat. You can get the kind with strings that are obstensibly safer. I think this would have worked WONDERFULLY for my kid (but my husband was so adamant about no candy that I couldn’t sell him on it). For a Transatlantic flight I probably would have pushed the issue and brought some for emergencies.

14

I’d guess that it’s because it’s illegal to leave a child that young at home alone. :cool:

15

I’m going to vote against the Benadryl idea. For one thing, it won’t work for 13 hours. For another, you shouldn’t drug children to sleep just to drug them to sleep. It’s cold medication, not Magical Sleepy Sparkle Dust.

For another, I know it’s irritating that babies cry, but speaking as a very frequent flier, I’d rather your baby cry a bit than know you’re drugging it up. Babies cry, and while it’s certainly a very irritating sound, only a total asshole would hate you for it, since anyone who is NOT a total asshole knows that even the best babies cry.

If you really want to make things easier for the passengers, bring 50 pairs of cheap foam earplugs - you can get a box of them at an industrial supply store for a fraction of what earplugs cost at a drugstore - and if the baby cries, hand them out. Aside from being polite, it’s funny, and it will impress upon all nearby passengers that you actually do feel sorry for their plight. I would impress the hell out of me.

16

Definitely have a few new toys for them to unwrap and fight over during the flight.

Make sure the kids are actively involved in chewing/swallowing something before and during takeoff and landing - helps their tiny Eustachian tubes open up and equalize. If they don’t equalize on the way up, they might be in pain for the whole trip.

While it is admirable and civilized to be concerned for the comfort of your fellow passengers, do not beat yourself (or your child) up if the child winds up having a loud and miserable flight. Small kids cry, and there’s not a damn thing anything (except possibly silenus) can do about it. Anyone who gives you a hard time about that at 30k feet should be invited to leave the plane immediately.

17

I really like the earplug idea. It might not even do shit, but what a thoughtful gesture.

I have flown in Economy Plus plenty, where kids always are. Kids cry. I don’t even have a rugrat and I can mostly deal with it. It’s only really miserable when you are in the same row or one forward or back.

Good luck. I wish you didn’t have to take the baby - but I know how much family wants to see him. I sympathize with you, and your fellow passengers all at once. :slight_smile:

18

You could always go this route - tho the pictured one might be overkill for a 21 month old.

19

Lots of good ideas here. I’m a fan of the Benadryl technique, for the kid’s sake as much as yours and your fellow passengers. But, uh, Shagnasty, you know it comes in liquid, right? I can’t imagine trying to get a bitter pill down an infant’s throat! And RickJay, it’s not cold medicine, it’s an antihistamine. And, as my teacher once told me, “There are no side effects, only effects.” Just because someone packages it and sells it as allergy medicine doesn’t mean it doesn’t also cause drowsiness. Someone could just as easily package it as a mild sedative which has the side effect of reducing histamine response!

Natural-wise, I’d bring along some chamomile extract. A tea will work, but make it twice as strong as normal drinking tea for a toddler (three to four times as strong for an adult). That’s two teabags or a teaspoon and a half of crushed chamomile flower to 8 ounces of water, cover and let it steep for 10 minutes. For most people, chamomile is a gentle soothing nervine, not a heavy-handed soporific. That is, it will take the edge off of your nerves, but it won’t put you under. For a few of us (me included), it’s a little harder hitting - I expect you could do minor surgery on me with just chamomile to knock me out - but I’m not familiar with a “reverse effect” like Benadryl can have. Still, there’s no reason you can’t share some tea with your tot one of these days before you leave; theoretically everything can have idiosyncratic reactions. If he doesn’t like the taste, add some lemon balm, another great herb for kids, to the dried chamomile. Obviously, adding sugar or honey, while normally an okay thing, is not going to help keep him calm and quiet!

I’d also offer a lot of watery apple juice - apple juice is available from the drink cart, and water it half and half with water. Not only will this cut down on the sugar, but it will keep him hydrated better - dehydration makes ME feel like screaming, so I can’t fault him for that. But, if your kid is anything like mine, he’ll drink a lot more of a slightly sweet beverage than plain water - probably because she’s not allowed juice often, it’s my secret weapon for fighting dehydration when it’s really important.

As for your fellow passengers, I think you need to cultivate a careful mixture of respect and fuck 'em. Respect them enough to try to keep the kid quiet, and respect them enough to let them SEE that you’re trying, and most of the reasonable ones will be satisfied, and perhaps even sympathetic. The unreasonable ones? The ones who are literally prejudiced against children, who will start grumbling the minute they see you walk on the plane, and will keep on grumbling even if the kid sleeps for 12 hours? Fuck 'em.

20

Sugar-free lollipops for the landings and take-offs.