Etch a Sketch - clean, quiet, self contained.
Tell him the plane can’t land until he can make a perfect circle 
magnetic fishing set
finger puppets
pipecleaners
bingo game (we made one with wooden insect shapes we had already, coloured cards to match, and a fabric bag to pull the shapes from)
Brain Quest cards
Kind of like college students, eh?
Hi
I wish to claim expertise here.
I’m from Australia which is a long way to anywhere. By the age of 5 my daughter had been to Brisbane (1 and a half hour flight, grandparent) at least 20 times, New Zealand once (4 hours), Singapore (8 hours) three times, and various bits of the USA (Hawaii once and Boston once, both on different trips and San Francisco a couple of times to and fro other places, and once just to it) and the Bahamas. The Bahamas trip involved delayed flights and missed connections both directions and was appalling.
We no longer need to fly so much, but she was so used to it she used to go to her seat, adjust and fasten her seat-belt, flick out the kneerug and read/look at the pictures on the safety brochure. We always used to say if there was an accident we would follow her - she’d read the instructions AND watched the safety demonstration. 
We always got comments on how well behaved she was except for 2 flights - the return from NZ where we discovered mid-flight she had a raging fever which turned out to be an ear infection, and the flight back from the Bahamas, which involved massive delays for which we were unprepared. When I say unprepared - because of the delays, by the time we left Miami for SF we had spent 9 hours in airports. 
So:
Most of the "dont"s echo previous posters.
Dont: Drug the kid unless a doctor has specified the medicine. This includes OTC remedies - no-one needs an adverse reaction in mid flight.
Dont: Feed the kid lots of lollies - who needs a kid on a sugar jag with nowhere to run?
Dont: let her have a nap before the flight - the poster who said run her ragged and maybe she’ll sleep some of the flight had it right.
Do: Take on board whatever child pain-killer your niece usually uses. If she has never used one before, get the parents agreement on what is OK and take it with you. (See return trip from NZ, above. There was nothing we could do about our daughters pain for several hours. They were LONG hours).
Do: Take a valve sealed drink bottle - I know them as Sippy-Cups - which require strong sucking to get the liquid. Means the liquid doesn’t go everywhere when the bottle is dropped and the sucking will help her pop her ears during take-off and landing.
Do: Take small portions of snack food. Crackers and cheese dip. Sultanas. Muesli bars. A couple of chewy lollies. Not chewing gum, but gummibear chewy.
Do: Take a teddybear on board with you. She can explain what is happening to the teddy and give you a break. Maybe teddy likes gummibears? Looking after teddy and explaining things to him always helped our kid.
Do: Take a familiar piece of bedding - pillow/blanket/rug/quilt, not for the flight, but for bedtime at where you are staying.
Do: A couple of laps of the plane every now and then. Makes for a change, you know?
We bought our daughter a mini version of the sort of rolley bag adults use on flights, and put stuff in it for in-flight entertainment that was not used at other times. She was responsible for pulling her own bag, but it had a back-pack harness in case she was totally pooped and we had to carry it. We kept the flight entertaiment stuff in it, and added a few extra things each time she flew, so there was always something new. It had a separate compartment in the base which we used for any necessary medicines, wipes etc.
Stuff in the rolley bag: Colouring book, twist-up crayons (cos they don’t break so easily), plain paper, cheap coloured pencils and sharpener, a stencil book and a glove puppet. We also used to include child safe scissors, but that is probably not allowed now. A “find-things” book like “Where’s Wally”. We had a Winnie the Pooh one, and a great one called “Can you spot the Spotty Dog?” which added a new hidden animal each page. Kids cards for basic games like Animal Snap and Go Fish are useful in the terminal, not so much in the plane as the cards can get lost easily. Wiki-Stix - found out about these at a diner which gave them out to kids. Never seen them in Aus. Books of mazes - my daughter adored doing mazes at that age. And the only good thing about the interminable trip back from the Bahamas - Miami airport book stall had books of mazes with invisilble ink markers. Wow, were they popular!
Finally, a read-aloud book. Fill in some of the time waiting at the terminal by going to one of the news stands and selecting a book. Or two.
Just asked my husband what he thought - he added that our daughter used to refuse the kids meals cos they were revolting, even for airline food. We only ordered the kids meals a couple of times, then just got her the adult meals. He suggested taking fruit as a backup.
Hope this helps.
Ya’ll are so pessimistic - I was a GREAT plane traveler at 4. I spent the whole time plastered against the window going “ooooo… PRETTY!” Mom said she always had to physically pry me away when the trip was over. And I said, what, you were suprised when I got the pilot’s license…?
Anyhow - while some children are unholy terrors, some are little angels. Not every kid has a bad reaction to flying.
How is this kid on road trips? My sisters and I were trained from an early age to behave while traveling and to make use of various forms of entertainment provided by the parents. If the nephew is accustomed to certain types of amusement on car trips it might be a good idea to carry them over to a plane trip.
I’m down on the idea of drugging kids. Too many things can cause nausea or dizziness at altitude that don’t have that effect on the ground, turning what might otherwise be a neat adventure into a few hours of hell and misery. Both Benadryl and some of the ingredients in NyQuil can have that effect, effectiely inducing air sickness where there otherwise wouldn’t be any such sypmtoms. Decongestants (including some found in NyQuil) can induce vertigo in a significant percentage of the population, which is an absolutely terrifying state to be in and why I absolutely will not take Sudafed prior to flight, even if I’m going as a passenger in the back of a 747 because once was enough for me. It is a terrible thing to do to anyone, much less a child. They won’t have the effect on everyone, but a four hour plane ride is an awful time to discover your nephew is one of those in the “bad side effects” group. If you have concerns and think medication might be warranted talk to a doctor. Children with chronic ear problems or nasal/sinus congestion might indeed need something for a flight, but you need to give them something that won’t cause nasty side effects, or disinhibit them so they are more likely to express displeasure at high volume.
If the kid is good on car trips he’ll probably be OK on the airplane, provided he can entertain himself. I swear, half the time I blame the parents - even a fairly young child can learn the basics of behaving on a trip just as a young child can learn the basics of eating in public and proper personal hygiene and keeping one’s pants on in public. It does, however, take some modest effort on the part of the parents to instruct the child and correct misconduct before it becomes bad habit.
Woman. But thanks.
I’d probably resort to sedatives and bribes, even though I don’t believe in those things in general.
You might also try reading to him. My mom used to read to us during long car trips, and it worked pretty well. I’m sure people around you would rather hear Stuart Little than screaming and/or whining.
I actually wouldn’t mind doing this as a passenger. I’d actually find it a fun way to pass the time, to hold a baby or entertain a toddler. The trouble is, American parents automatically assume anyone who’d want to do these things is some kind of sex pervert or child snatcher.
Did anyone suggest reading a book or, hurmph, talking? All the other ideas are great, but please don’t forget that a four year old generally likes to be read to and most (once they get going on a subject) love to talk with adults.
Kids also like to cuddle while watching other people. Walking around is also a great idea. Most airlines have something for kids; including special meals so check with your travel agent or the airlines for a kids meal.
You will find a four/five hour flight will go quickly.
I’m an experienced traveler with three kids (all born within 11 months - twins and singleton) who are now 18 and 19 years old. We make at least one fight a year from where we live (in Africa) to the US/and back. Now it isn’t too bad because they are responsible for keeping themselves occupied.
Be prepared, talk and the trip will go well
We flew from San Francisco non-stop to London and back (8+ hrs) when my son was 4½. He did great. We didn’t bring electronic baby sitter type stuff (Gameboys,etc).
We played with him games like I Spy, we drew on paper, we took walks in the aisle when it was clear, we talked at length about what we were going to do/see in London. He looked out the window a lot. We read books. We practiced the alphabet.
It was fun. For both of us.
Sorry for the pokey response – been putting out fires in real life. Have a few still smoldering, so I’ll be brief.
Doping him – sorry, he’s not my kid, and I wouldn’t dope him if he were. He’s actually a sweet kid (this coming from a person whom kids frequently annoy) and I think keeping him happy will simply amount to keeping 4-year-old-itis at bay.
Gameboy – again, sorry but no. The in-laws flood him and his sister with brainless electronic beep-boop toys, so it’s up to our side to provide books, Legos, and other interactive non-battery-powered stuff. That’s what I had in mind.
Don’t know if running him ragged beforehand will be feasible – it’s a 2-hour ride to the airport.
Magnetic fishing set – I just got him one for Christmas!
I skimmed the rest of the suggestions and will compile a list when I go shopping for the trip on Saturday. But one suggestion (travel game kits sold in airports) reminded me of a similar thing I’d bought around Christmas and didn’t end up giving to anyone. It’s perfect – ten games in one, magnetic, self-contained in a plastic case about the size of a paperback. I’ll definitely pack that, and see if I can’t add some snackies, Silly Putty, paper & crayons, and the like.
Thanks all!
Touche. I’ll have you know I have never once run through aisles of an airplane smacking people in the knees, nor spent a cross-country flight screaming and/or sobbing.
Seriously: the NyQuil suggestion was (at least a bit) tongue-in-cheek. I don’t truly advocate drugging kiddies, though sometimes it’s tempting and I do advocate them acting sedate.
I’ve got to say that, unless someone specifically offers to do help you out keeping the kid amused, assume that everyone else on the plane would rather not have anything to do with the kid. It’s nothing personal, but some of us just don’t like kids.
I want to second this. We took our then-six-month-old on a flight from Hawaii to Nebraska… a grueling flight no matter what age you are. She was actually very good and slept most of the time. When she was up, this couple next to us asked if they could hold her. Then another couple behind us asked the same thing. In all, she got passed around to 4 couples. Not only did it give us a break, but since Anya is very friendly, the passengers had a ball, too.
I was being facetious.
Agreed, i’m just not good with kids, and would prefer to not be forced to interact with them, it’s too bad nobody has developed the “Off Switch for Children” referenced in Douglas Adams’ HHGTTG book “Mostly Harmless” (or if an Off Switch that temporarily suppresses higher cognitive functions, yet leaves brain-stem life-processes alone is impractical, perhaps a simple Volume control with Mute function would be feasable)
if the child is well behaved and leaves me alone, i have no problem with them, IF i want to interact with kids (highly, highly improbable), then I’ll make the effort, dont force them on me, and we’ll be fine
Hmmm . . . I e-mailed my sister this morning (at her work address) to ask a question about the trip, and it came back “No such user.” :eek:
Left a message on her work voice mail (still her message!) and her cell; no response yet. Her picture is still on the company Web page.
Hope it’s just an e-mail glitch and she’s really really busy today, and not out of a job. (This is just shades of when Mr. S got shitcanned.) At least the tickets are paid for!
Send good vibes if you have any.
Take some lollipops along. Not to give as snacks, but in case the kid gets motion sick. I’ve always been prone to motion sickness, and a lollipop, hard candy, or regular (not diet) Coke or Sprite usually makes the nausea go away pretty quickly. I was a terrible traveler as a kid, because I was always nauseous and miserable, and bored because the motion sickness meant I couldn’t read
Phew! E-mail glitch and really really busy.
Books on tape. Buying them might get expensive, but if you can get them from the library or something–listening to Grimm’s Fairy Tales and The Jungle Book on tape is what got me through dozens of plane rides and long car trips.
Of course, that was twenty years ago. There are DVDs now.
Most aircarriers give the little earphones that go into the ear. As the owner of small ears, I can tell you that those are NOT GOOD for a kid. See if you can find the kind with the big spongy pads and some way to regulate the distance between pads.
That way, if there are appropiate movies, he’ll actually be able to hear them instead of having to lip-guess.
Let the kid move; he’s got to know you’re there and how to find you, one of you two should remain at your seats at all times; trying to keep him in his place the whole flight is a sure bet to make him antsy. My last flight was 16 hours, in a plane belonging to a cheap company which doesn’t bother fix the sound system in the seats where it breaks; they showed 4 movies but we could find only 3 seats where you actually could hear them (I think the plane was a 727, not sure about the model but it wasn’t small). There were several small children and by the end of the flight we’d all adopted them.
Village, what village… it takes a plane