Title says it all, basically. How do you order a cup of coffee in Puerto Rico. What words do I need to know, what are the common types and presentations?
“Hola, bebé. Soy un gringo estúpido con mucho dinero.”
Thanks. Will try
ETA: Ok, I tried that and didn’t work. Any other ideas?
Hey, I thought you had lived years in Puerto Rico and knew how.
I don’t know, mom always orders a pocillo. Or just, y’know, ask for café con leche, which is what I do.
Although at some places if you ask for coffee they promptly come with a hot café con leche right after the meal (La Bombonera, for example).
Am I being wooshed?
I have lived here for 4 years, but I don’t drink coffee. Neither does my wife.
I am putting together a tourist info guide and would like to add something about this, coffee being what it is to Puerto Rican culture and history.
Well, cafe’ is coffee, so just add a por favor on the end. As mentioned, cafe con leche is coffe with milk. Sometimes there is local slang, so you might want to ask a local. In Guatemala (or was it Spain?), a large coffee with milk was called a piscina, or ‘swimming pool’.
Heretic! 
Another term that is sometimes used is (café) puya- hot, dark, no sugar.
“Un café (puya, con leche), por favor” should be enough in most cases. But again, in some restaurants they either ask you before you ask or give it to you almost automatic at the end of the meal.
Asking for a picina referring to coffee would probably give you weird looks.
Yeah, I can’t see this piscina business ending well. 
I have noticed that when you just ask for coffee it comes as “cafe con leche”. Is this right?
Maybe Puerto Ricans are more straightforward with their coffee than I thought. Ordering coffee from Venezuelans, Cubans and Spaniards (maybe even Italians) requires a double PhD and an internship.
I don’t notice it most of the time, but then I grew up on that stuff (seriously, I remember being 3 and drinking office coffee with tons of sugar).
Puya for black and no sugar. Sin leche for just black.
Ok, I had heard puya, con/sin leche, the modern mess of sweeteners.
I have noticed that although most places make coffee in espresso machines, the coffee is not as strong as espresso elsewhere and in comes in a cup larger than espresso but smaller than US gas station mop water. Am I right? Can you actually order an espresso or somehow indicate that you want it extra-strength (or more diluted)?
(and thanks for your replies, I almost put your name in the thread title)
You’re welcome, although now I’m stumped. 
You could try asking for “cafe expreso” and see what that gets you…
I’m not sure in most places you can ask to make yours specifically stronger, since they make enough for others to drink too (it is not individual type like Starbucks). The coffee is stronger than regular coffee in the US, and only slightly less strong than an expresso.
The house coffee pots look like this.
Not sure I understand the comment. I think I was clear that this term was a colloquialism used in one place I was familiar with. My stated reason for mentioning it was that there may be a local term in PR that doesn’t mean ‘coffee’ anywhere else.
I heard something about all the good Puerto Rican coffee being exported to Japan.
I know, I was just trying to be light. I agree with your point, in fact that is pretty much the whole point of my original question. You can ask for a “guayoyito con leche” and it will make sense in Venezuela and nowhere else. I just want to know what are those magic words for ordering coffee here in PR.
Maybe this will help you. http://gopuertorico.about.com/od/food/p/PR_Coffee.htm