How to urinate while skydiving without getting wet?

[Quercus]

You know, it strikes me that most people jumping out of an airplane at altitude (especially for the first time) probably are not worrying about how to piss, but rather have the opposite concern…

[drewder]

@Folly

Invert, so I’m peeing ‘up’ including whatever manipulation I have to do to the suit and or penis to get the pee going up. Also position my body so I have some velocity in the x direction because I’m assuming that after the initial expulsion, the urine will have a terminal velocity faster than my terminal velocity and will start catching up to me again.

Hopefully this isn’t my first time skydiving so I might know how to do some of the above.

I couldn’t find any numbers that deal specifically with urine but the fastest raindrop reaches terminal velocity at 20 m/s whereas a human at TV will be going around 54 m/s so you’d be falling at about 2.7 times faster than your urine stream. Now you may wish to put some lateral motion into your fall on the off chance that you manage to land in the same spot as your urine when it catches up with you.

[TroutMan]

@drewder

Now you may wish to put some lateral motion into your fall on the off chance that you manage to land in the same spot as your urine when it catches up with you.

Unless you are opening the chute very close to the ground, your urine should catch up with you before you land, and at that point you have a giant umbrella over you.

[Shodan]

a super villain has pushed you out of a plane with nothing but a special suit (to be explained) and a parachute that is designed to monitor your weight after activation. It has an accelerometer and a special processor to cancel out the effect of deceleration on your weight. If it finds that your weight settles on a value that is higher than 80kg, it will cut the cords. The super villain weighed you on the plane and your weight is currently 80.1kg. Luckily you have been holding in a massive piss which upon expulsion would bring you under the threshold. However the suit you are wearing has many special sensors to detect moisture and if too many are activated, the cords will be cut. So your task is to have a piss and minimize the amount of splash back before you hit the ground. What’s your strategy?

I love the Dope.

Regards,
Shodan

[Morgenstern]

Pilots have a saying, and I suppose it applies to skydivers too.

“On the way to the plane, never pass a toilet without an offering.”

[Shodan]

Soldier’s version (as related by my son):

“Never miss a chance to pee, take a nap, or keep your mouth shut.”

Regards,
Shodan

[Folly]

@TroutMan

Unless you are opening the chute very close to the ground, your urine should catch up with you before you land, and at that point you have a giant umbrella over you.

It might be that kind of parachute with the hole right in the middle, top.

[Left_Hand_of_Dorkness]

I’m gonna turn sideways, think about this toy, and pee like I’ve never peed before.

[Left_Hand_of_Dorkness]

@Left_Hand_of_Dorkness

I’m gonna turn sideways, think about this toy, and pee like I’ve never peed before.

I rewatched the video and realized I can do better.

I’m pointing my important parts earthward, my face skyward. The last thing that supervillain is gonna see is my eyes squinched shut in intense effort, fist in front of me, coming for his plane like Mighty Mouse.

[outlierrn]

@Shodan

Soldier’s version (as related by my son):

“Never miss a chance to pee, take a nap, or keep your mouth shut.”

Regards,
Shodan

Never stand when you can sit, never sit when you can lie down.