You're in a hot air balloon. And you need to go to the bathroom...

Tonight my 7 year old daughter asked, “If I’m in a hot air balloon, and I need to go to the bathroom, what do I do?”

I didn’t have a good answer.

I wouldn’t advise climbing up on the basket. But you can get a Little John or Travel John from Sporty’s Pilot Shop ahead of time.

Just try to be civil and avoid bombing on populated areas.

What my father always told me on our cross-country vacations.

Hold it.

It’s not a barrage balloon.

Mini chem loo, probably. see Portable Camping Toilets - Portable Camping Toilet Units

Rick Reilly, a writer for Sports Illustrated, recently wrote about a seven hour blimp ride he took. He confirms that you pee over the side, so I guess a woman would pee into a cup or bottle.

There are no bathroom facilities on a blimp or hot air balloon other than gravity.

Introduce the sweet little thing to the ballooning concept of “dropping ballast”.

:smiley:

Situations like this is why you don’t litter - don’t drop that Big Gulp cup from 7/11 over the side, save it until the end of the ride.

Knowing some ballon pilots, and having discussed the topic:

Rarely an issue in a hot air balloon, as only so much propane is available. ! hr is a long flight. If your male, #1 is not a problem.

It is not uncommon to sit on the edge of the basket, so I guess #2 would be possible in a pinch. (Ugh!)

Now the OP didn’t ask, but GAS balloons are a different kettle of fish. With flights measured in days, it normally IS an issue. Not only that, but they are quite sensitive to ballasting, so to conserve gas, waste is contained to be dropped as ballast at the first opportunity.

The OP didn’t ask, but I also have first hand experience with long sailplane flights. #2 is not possible. A ziplog baggy with a couple of disposable diapers inside makes a passable #1 latrine for male pilots. Relief systems using condom catheters have also been devised. As for female pilots, I guess it Depends ™.

Oh god. Now I’m imaging a guy (not so much a 7 year old girl unless you held her over the edge…which would be a VERY BAD IDEA) pissing over the edge.

And me looking up in wonder at the etheral grandeur of it all and getting a face full of piss. Which i find in turns utterly disgusting and utterly hysterical.

I think you have a very strange little girl there. Treasure her.

Speaking as a woman…

First of all, although it takes some practice, women can learn to piss into a remarkably small-mouthed container.

Also, some pilot and sport supply shops sell what, for lack of a better term, might be called an “adapter” to allow women to use male urinals and relief tubes.

The Lady J adapter on the Sporty’s link. :wink:

I’m a balloon pilot. Peeing over the side is not uncommon on long solo flights (2+ hours). But of course, you don’t do it when you’re anywhere other than overtop a farmer’s field… And don’t think anyone can see you.

#2 IS possible over the side of the basket. I’ve heard of one flight where the pilot asked all of his passengers to face the other way, then he jumped up on the side and let loose (it was an emergency, obviously.) I’ve heard this flight corroborated by both one of the passengers and one of the girls in the main office who got the passenger’s complaints.

Gross.

Your every-day garden-variety BUCKET works just fine.
Perhaps with a small tarp to cover it once the offending matter has been deposited into it.

Concerning #1, does the aviator/urinator really need to be above unoccupied ground? I would have thought the stream would disperse somewhat on its way down.

Concerning #2, I’ve read that hot air balloons are capable of altitudes of up to 140,000 feet. What height would the balloon need to achieve so that any discharge would burn up on re-entry?

Thank you.

It would be a matter of speed to induce enough friction to burn up, rather than altitude.

I don’t think this would happen unless you had a very severe case of the projectile shits.

I agree about the speed and friction factors but I guessed they are at least partially a function of altitude.

I can’t remember enough maths to produce an equation but the mass of the discharge, its consistency, the initial velocity and gravity must be germane to the question.

Are there any mathematicians or physicists who have both a hot air balloon and a digestive problem on this board?

As I recall, stuff reaches what is termed “terminal velocity” in free fall. Skydivers, bombs and turds all are subject to this.

Have you ever pissed over the side and been so high up that you finished relieving your bladder before your amber nectar hit the ground?

A mild hijack: Does sex in a balloon count towards the Mile High Club?