How Toxic Are You?

Yes or No.

  1. Have you felt fatigued now and then for no apparent reason?
  2. Do you ever feel “wooden” or lifeless?
  3. Have you ever experienced drug “flashbacks”?
  4. Do you feel less alert then you used to?
  5. Do you sometimes get a feeling of lightheadedness or of being “spaced out”?
  6. Do you feel irritable without reason or cause?
  7. Do you have unexplained aches and pains?
  8. Do you find it difficult to get excited about people and things?
  9. Do you feel anxious and don’t know why?
  10. Do you have trouble learning new things even when you are interested in them?

If you answered yes to 3 or less you could have a level of accumulated toxins affecting your ability to think clearly.
If you answered yes to 4-7 of the above questions, you could have a detrimental level of accumulated toxins, making you dull, lifeless or “wooden” with lessened ability.
If you answered yes to 8 or more of these questions, you could be experiencing a case of severe body pollution.
The affects of past drugs and toxic substances dim your life.
Get rid of them.

**The Purification© program developed by L. Ron Hubbard is the solution to handling these problems.

CLEAR BODY, CLEAR MIND
By L. Ron Hubbard
$40.00**

call us now for a free evaluation and purification consultation at:
Church of Scientology of Sacramento
123 NowayamIspreadingthis Ave.
Sacramento CA 90210
(555) 555-5555

Discover what the Purification Program can do for you!
Fill in the below address sheet and take this test into the church of Scientology or mail it in.

Woops!

I forgot to say that I found this on a buliten board at school.

So, if I answer “no” to all of them, I could still be in danger? :eek:

**

But…what if I answered “no” to #2?! I’m so confused…

So, are you posting this in order to advertise the book you mention?

I doubt it. I pretty sure he’s just pointing out how superbly ridiculous this is. Note his address “NowayImspreadingthis Ave.” I could answer yes to every one of those except maybe 9 and definately 10 but there’s no way I would let those deluded quacks make me think I’m “toxic”.

I doubt it. I pretty sure he’s just pointing out how superbly ridiculous this is. Note his address “NowayImspreadingthis Ave.” I could answer yes to every one of those except maybe 9 and definately 10 but there’s no way I would let those deluded quacks make me think I’m “toxic”.

What if I’m having trouble answering “yes” or “no” to the questions? :slight_smile:

Then, my child, you belong in the Priesthood, where all your questions will be answered, and your doubts erased…

If the “church” of scienwhatsit were honest, the test would read:

  1. Are you alive?

Did you answer yes to 1 question? If so, then we think you should give us all your money!

Gawd, I started reading the list, and I’m thinking to myself, “Man, this sounds like a bad country song, or something. . .”

Tripler
I’m from Jersey. I’m naturally toxic.