how useful would you be if the world ended?

if Y2K was all it was cracked up to be, what would you be doing now in this post-apocalyptic wasteland?

Immediately after the disaster, I might not be so useless. I don’t have the phsyial resources to go and jack quanities of gasoline from an Esso, but I could beat people to death as we all tried to loot a nearby Safeway.

After awhile, though, it comes to a matter of rebuilding our society.

Generate electricity? Yeah, right.

Build an internal combustion engine? Right, I’ll get right on that.

I’m not even sure I could make fire. I could probably make a wheel, but it’d take me a few tries to figure out an efficient way to do so.

I could probably grow food, but even then I’d need tutelage. This alarms me because I’d be next to useless, and I know I’m way smarter than the guy who fixes my car. I know what the word “prolapse” means, but guess who would be more useful in the aftermath?

Never mind that my only skills are in the arts and martial arts, my fighting skills would become useless pretty quickly. Even after bullets ran out, someone would figure out how to make a bow. I’ve never even fired a bow in my life.

My knowledge of literature? Right, that’ll be useful. My knowledge of filmmaking techniques? My knowledge of drawing and painting? I might be able to land a job as some sort of records keeper, but I’d be competing against all kinds of liberal arts graduates who are much better at sucking ass than I am.

When it comes to interpersonal skills, I’m really good at listening to people, something most people aren’t. Would that be beneficial? Maybe to the bored elite (read: my mechanic).

I have good brithin’ Hips, i could repopullate society. Oh and I can build a really big fire with out matches or a lighter. I think I could figure out a bow and arrow, I also have could buidling skills, I could make a lean to at least. Oh and I can cook too.

Sorry, That’s **BIRTHIN’ **hips

Well, let’s see here. Generally healthy, requiring no medications, so that’s at least a snowball’s chance. Bad eyesight…not so good, especially if glasses break. However, I can tell a decent story, so I think my best shot would be to develop a cult, asap. Convince enough big weapon-toting and not-very-bright trogs that The Lord has Spoken to Me, and I won’t have to worry about being useful.

If the world ended, we wouldn’t have to worry about our usefulness. We’d be dead.

I think the only thing I’d be useful for would be “alternate food source.” :frowning:

I don’t know much of anything. But that’s no problem. See, I figure that any problems I face that I can’t solve, I’ll just look on the internet for the answers! There’s lots of helpful directions for making things on there. Ah, good ol’ internet. What would we do without it?

I would not be at all useful; I’d be spending too much time wondering whether to pillage or plunder. (grins)


I can milk a cow by hand. That’s a plus, isn’t it?

crickets chirping

Well, FINE, then! You can eat all that leftover Nestle’s Quik dry!!

Well I would have to go with Shera on this one. I got hips for breedin’ so I guess it would be my duty to help re-populate. I’m not too shabby at fishing so I guess that would be a useful skill. But someone else would have too clean them…

Well, breeding hips aren’t much good without … oh, hell, I’m just pathetic.

I could prepare food, assuming that nobody hates PBJ’s. :slight_smile:

Not much use.

Y’idiots. You’re the intellectually elite, well, some of you. We could teach! Forget about historical accuracy, we could tell the kids how it really happened! How the Germans made a giant balloons filled with a highly explosive gas that would explode with furious might at the slightest hint of a spark… wait a minute, that really happened. Well, you get the picture.

I would don a suit of lead armour, grow a long and wild beard, and ruthlessly and viciously lead a pack of feral children on cannibalistic raids, preying upon the small meek remnants of humanity.

Only the shreds of my silk ties, woven into my long straggly hair, would ever indicate that I was once involved in the business world.

I would be very useful because the first thing I would raid would be the library. Nobody would think of looting this place, so I wouldn’t have to fend off people with guns. I’d make sure to get all of the useful medical, farming, basket weaving, solar power, building, etc. I would be able to trade this information for necessities.

I’d also try looting a pharmacy and hardware store while people are still trying to get a handle on things. I think that most people would instinctively raid for food first. I’d use this period of confusion to get my hands on as many trade goods and long term useful items / knowledge I could.

[li]Can grow food[/li][li]Can preserve food[/li][li]Can cook over a fire/on a wood stove[/li][li]Can chop wood/start a fire/keep a fire going[/li][li]Know some medicinal plants[/li][li]Can sew[/li][li]Can shoot[/li][li]Good construction worker/helper[/li][li]Can drive a worked over, armored and armed, fortress on wheels truck with a split-shift. :wink: [sub]that’s a joke, son, I said, a joke[/sub][/li][li]Like other ladies said: I gots birthin’ hips[/li][li]Former EMT; I can try to keep people healthy[/ul][/li]When the ball drops, you know where to find me! :smiley:

Err, being a physics student I have at least a vague idea how a whole bunch of stuff like electricity generation and car engines and stuff works. Not enough of the practicalities to be of any real use though.

Oh-uh, things not looking good. Hey wait, I do computers too! If I can get me to a nest of dopers and start work on the second internet I could achieve godhood! :smiley:

Since I plan on growing another set of arms and developing superpowers after the collapse, I have a feeling I’d be very useful.

I’d like to think I’d be pretty useful, but I haven’t been put to the test (thank goodness). As a former Eagle Scout and as a Physics major, I’m supposed to know how to do stuff, or at least to be able to figure it out or look it up.

I’ve read a lot of “trapped on a desert island” or “after the Fall of Civilization” stuff (Mysterious Island, Alas Babylon, The Stand, Earth Abides, etc. Also books like A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court)

James Burke did an excellent piece on this in the opening episode/segment of his original series Connections. If civilization fell, could you actually use a plow?

If you want to do this stuff, pick up the Foxfire series and books on survival. Get stuff from the US Army and books from Loompanics. There’s a lot out there, and a lot you don’t know. Gotta admire those pioneers.