No. Well, the increased sugar may promote tooth decay, which would be problematic without dentists around, but other than that no better or worse than any other long pork.
Kinda hope it doesn’t get to the point of long pork, though.
I can grow food, but I’m not any sort of expert on it. I might be best off getting on board with tumbleddown. I can build makeshift structures. I can repair bicycles. I can fix torn clothing, too, but my sewing skills extend only that far. I am in good physical shape, even for my age. Apart from lactose intolerance and an allergy to penicillin, I have no chronic health problems or sensitivities. I can run far and fast, lift moderately heavy objects and keep at it for hours. I can work hand tools pretty well.
I can cook from scratch like a motherfucker. I’ve got an intuitive grasp of timing and flavor from years of working in a restaurant kitchen. I can take a basket of random odds and ends and make a pretty kick-ass dish from it. I can butcher meat. I know some basics of food preservation (like canning and pickling), and I can figure out pretty quickly how to cook over an open fire, though I haven’t ever tried starting one without lighter or matches.
Baking, though, is where I fall apart.
I also speak comprehensible Spanish. Might come in handy, but I’ll need a little practice before I get to be your envoy to El Arca down the road. I can keep my head on straight in stressful situations and know basic first aid. I can fire a rifle and climb trees.
I can follow instructions, and lead small teams. I won’t try to run the entire Ark, as I know from experience that leadership at that level is exhausting and unrewarding. Fuck that. Give me my orders, and I’ll get it done. I’m not a world expert at anything in particular, but I’m quick on the uptake and can definitely apprentice myself to someone with more skills.
In that case I’m calling the “coyote/wolf/dog skin fur across the shoulders of an oilskin duster coat” and crocodile dundee hat combo. 
WELL, In that case, I call topless with a bear-skin-leather short-pants combo. That of course is only after 3 years or so of essentialist survival turns my body into a hunk of pure manliness. A one-shoulder tunic would also be acceptable.
I don’t think I have any skills that haven’t been covered already, but I can contribute a lot. I have engineering/construction experience and can use just about any tool you will need for that. Of course anything electric will be out of the picture and every zombie survival guide reminds you to save fuel for chainsaws, weed whackers and leaf blowers that you will need as secondary weapons. I also have wilderness experience (building shelter, making a fire, etc.) Finally I don’t like being in charge so I am a willing peon for unskilled work needed elsewhere.
I will also put my wife down for child herding. She’s a kindergarten teacher and can handle the age 3 - 10 horrors very well. She also has some political experience, but in a smaller city council/community leader way so she isn’t corrupt. Yet.
Wish my uncle was still around. He was ex Navy, in the Naval Combat Demolition Unit which later became the SEALs. Don’t know if it’s true or not, but I was told he liked catching fish with his bare hands.
Don’t worry jsgoddess (and several others) even Gilligan had a purpose; comical relief and scapegoat. If you are bad at that we can use you as livestock. 
I have a friend who’s Amish, and he said when they did go to town they usually got beer. In fact his friend got a DUI after his buggy got hit by a car and the cops found they had been drinking.
So when is this apocalypse? I need to mark my calendar and see how much time I have to get more practice at some of these things.
I think I would be fairly valuable. I’m young and healthy with no medical conditions (except for migraines) or injuries, and I’m quick, fit, and very strong for my small size. I’m not a whiner and have good tolerance of pain and discomfort. I love the outdoors and am not fazed by bugs, grime, poop, blood, childbirth etc. I have some knowledge of edible plants, have foraged before, can build a fire and cook over it, know how to slaughter animals (but have never hunted them), and know how to grow healthy vegetables. I grew up in a farming community so I’ve carded wool, made thread, canned fruit, helped make beer, churned butter… I don’t have much experience building things but I’ve always been good with my hands. I also have a good degree of medical knowledge for a layman.
I also have no desire to ever be in charge of anyone, so I would follow directions proficiently.
In a real lawless disaster scenario, I’ve always felt I would be doomed. I’m still a young attractive girl, and I’m smaller than many children. I think roving bands of rapists/pillagers would be distressingly common, and unless I had the good luck to fall in with a band of men who had weapons and would use them in my defense, I’d be raped and/or kidnapped a lot. I think I might prefer death.
Not necessarily. Most victims are selected for their passive, or submissive attitude and appearance. A small, tough woman who is confident, and willing to put up a fight isn’t an easy target. You can join the Kan Moku Shi Do class I’ll be teaching. One of the other Dopers should be able to get you up up to speed with a firearm if you are so inclined. We need a Tough Girl for our border patrol unit! Small, strong people make excellent scouts.
Totally useless. I’ve spent my time working on skills that are useful in the world I live in, which is not a post-apocalyptic world.
…yet.
I’ve worked on a farm, milked cows, grown food and harvested it. I’m a pretty fair shot with a rifle or handgun, I’ve used a bow… a long, long time ago. I’m comfortable in the woods.
On the long term front, I know the basics of building an electrical generator… but it’ll take time to figure out how to make it really work.
I am survival trained so I’d do all right, but I know bugger all about farming; so in the long run maybe not so good.
I have some farming experience and I can fish. I can do manuel labor. I don’t have any specialised skills but I can pull my own.
I have done Manuel Labor. Please don’t tell my fundamentalist friends.
I think that the point is that the community is, as you pointed out, going to have a large die-off of the chronically ill who can’t survive without some complicated medical support, so the community would have a large amount of protein soon after The Big One. The question is, should the community let that protein go to waste? As one of the people who would be part of the die-off, I’d just as soon be utilized for food. Make jerky or pemmican or stew out of my flesh, I don’t care. I’d even be willing to be beheaded or have my neck snapped, instead of poisoning myself, if I knew that I was going to be used as food. If the community can use me, that means that they can allow the other food animals to live and perhaps get a little bigger and more numerous.
I’m currently an organ donor. Once I’m done with this body, I don’t care what happens to it.
As a former country girl / hippy / girl scout leader, I likely have a few skills to add to the pot.
- I’m a helluva campfire cook.
- I know how to garden organically and save seeds.
- I know basic sewing and leatherwork.
- I am able to milk goats, raise chickens and pigs and butcher.
- I’m a fair shot with a small caliber weapon.
- I’ve made wine and given my family history and a set of Foxfire books, probably could make moonshine.
- I know some herbal remedies, learned from my granny.
- I’ve attended a childbirth, delivered puppies, kittens and goats.
- I know basic first aid.
- I’m good with kids, so educating the next generation to survival skills and more might be one of my assigned tasks.
- I sing and play several (acoustic) instruments, so entertainment might be an option.
- I’ve worked in the building trades.
The downside: I’m a TypeII diabetic, so I would have to be very careful about eating and exercise and likely wouldn’t survive long term. Creeping decrepitude rules out heavy lifting (but then, there’s ACWM to call for that :p).
Basically, I would be around long enough to help educate the next generation, but couldn’t do much of the needed heavy work involved in survival situations.
So, who of us is making the cut? Who will get invited into this brave new world? [del]Whose cuisine reigns supreme?[/del]
I said that I’m “useful.” I don’t have a huge hoard of specialized survival skills, and I can’t farm or find my way in the wilderness, but I have a broad array of handy knowledge:
I used to teach Red Cross first aid and CPR, and even took EMT training (about 20 years ago, but I can remember a lot), and I have a lifelong interest in pharmaceuticals and medical care – I even know how to compound ointments and stuff;
I was pretty good with tools, back when I owned a house – I built my own deck, installed a sprinkler/irrigation system, did some of my own electrical work, etc. – and I still do my own handy work when I can;
I’m no engineer, and not quite a scientist, but I have a good knowledge of biology, chemistry, and physics, and I can go a long way with some reference books;
I’m not much of a shot, but I have had some training, and go range shooting from time to time, so I can handle a rifle or pistol confidently (but I haven’t had to clean anything in about thirty years);
At 46, I’m not in top shape, even for my age, but I’m basically healthy and strong, with no chronic medical issues or disabilities, so I think I’d shape up rapidly if I had to; OTOH, I don’t deal at all well with heat or dehydration, and if I lose my glasses I’d be fucked;
I’ve got some leadership skills and experience, so I could run a team, although I’m really pretty introverted and don’t naturally take charge unless everybody else is at a loss; downside is that I can get pretty impatient with people when I’m worried or frustrated, which might be a lot of the time in a survival situation (oddly, I’m very calm when shit hits the fan – blood, fire, and such don’t scare me);
I’m a father, and know how to take care of kids and babies (though as I said, I can get impatient); I also have a very soothing voice when I work at it, which kids and adults may appreciate from time to time.
That’s a noble sentiment, however, the psychological side effects of eating you may be detrimental to group morale or otherwise harmful, and we have to weigh that against the need for protein. We’ll make note of your generous offer, but may need to find alternative uses for what you leave behind.
I could do the collateral and the PR!
And a cool website.
Made from actual webs!