What’s Robert Smith of The Cure up to these days?
Yeah…maybe something from one of those cheesy Japanese kids shows like Power Rangers. Don’t they have a giant mechanical dinosaur thingy?
-XT
I’d be all “Wow, that’s cool,” and watch safely from a distance.
HOLY SHIT! HOLY FUCKING SHIT! MONSTERS ARE REAL! HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY MOTHERFUCKING SHIT!!!
Does that work for you?
Why the assumption that the monster can be injured by conventional weapons at all? If it’s strong enough to walk on land, jump, and knock over buildings, it must have a ridiculously strong tissue structure. To keep his flesh from exploding when he puts a foot down, the monster’s muscles, skin, bones, etc. are going to have to be stronger than anything we currently have available. The strength of steel and concrete obviously aren’t going to cut it.
Like you guys said, the laws of physics, if they do indeed apply, require certain things to be true. In this case, the monster (simply to exist as this scenario posits) is required to be made out of something tougher than anything we’ve ever encountered. A regular bomb or bullets just aint gonna cut it.
It’s also not the point of the thread.
I realize that given anatomical structures in evidence on Earth, a Cloverfield-sized monster would appear to be impossible. But the point is to ask; what would happen if it WAS possible?
The assumptions remain that this is a big ass monster, and that’s it’s very, very difficult to kill. Killing it will wipe out a large area around it, either through the use of a nuclear weapon or an immense amount of conventional weaponry (e.g. a incendiary attack by a number of B-52s, meant to cause a firestorm.)
How long would it take for the government to commit to actually destroying part of LA, and killing civilians, the minimize the long term damage cause by the grumpy monster? I’ve a feeling this would take longer than it should because of the sheer weirdness of it all.
Well…they’ve been retired from service in the United States :).
Note that some might be mobilizable - Iran reportedly still has a few in service. But it would take more than a few minutes to get them there and the monumental level of ass-kissing and crow-eating that would be required to do so just might be prohibitive, even to avert monster-apocalypse ;).
Well…having watched the movie I’d say the monster has the equivalent of advanced armor plate. It was shrugging off heavy weapons and smashing tanks. Since it’s obviously not flesh and blood then gods know what could stop it. I suppose they would try conventional weapons first, then having found out the thing is tougher than an Abrams (or a battleship for that matter), they would move on to heavier weapons. Those seemed to be failing in the movie to, so I guess they would probably try something like a bunker buster or a FAE (which is what it looked like to me they resorted to in the end). After that they might as well just wait for the sequel I guess…
My guess is it would be a long time before someone in government got the balls to drop the really big stuff (FAE most likely…I seriously doubt they would use a nuke even on something like the CF monster). Most likely after they figured out all conventional weapons were useless they would concentrate on distracting the beast to pull civilians out, trying to avoid direct contact and simply killing off the fleas or whatever the hell was falling off the thing. Then they would buy a steady cam since they are available at any Best Buy and throw out that old piece of crap with the shaky video.
-XT
And if they’re flown by Tyrannosaurs, even better.
A single B2 can carry 50,000 pounds of bombs, according to wikipedia. I can’t believe one of them couldn’t take out clovie or even Godzilla at his largest, even if we ignore the scaling problems that a giant monster would face. Seriously, that scene took me right out of Cloverfield, for which I’d been able to suspend disbelief right till then.
I thought it was the Thing that Only ate Hippies. [/milkmen]
First, it’s LA, so–no big loss.
Second, there are a lot of military bases in California. So response could be quick.
Third, the creature is obviously amphibious. So, a heat-based attack is likely to damage a body designed to live in the deep ocean. Napalm, or rather, it’s modern successors.
So that´s why we got that earthquake today! Sure makes sense now, considering how huge he is 
That beast will be cut up and sold for parts and taco meat inside 20 minutes. This is LA we’re talking about, not some pansy town like New York.
Seriously, I don’t care what kind of armor that thing has. If it can move, it’s going down. A Hellfire missile will do the trick nicely, if the Culver City 13 haven’t taken wee beastie out before then.
I’m hoping for Candy Crowley. Then the monster spits her back out in disgust.
Meh, since it’s on the lesser coast, I’d go to my computer, watch the updates on CNN/MSNBC, and watch homevideos pop up on YouTube.
Oh, and I’d hope to get on the fly Doper Updates in here as well.
The problem with the hypothetical is that any beast beyond a certain size envelope, the upper boundary of which is probably pretty well delineated by the largest dinosaurs that ever lived, is simply fairyland impossible due to gravity constraints and bio-thermal issues. Any of these beasts could probably be taken out by one man with a high powered rifle and a box of ammo or an RPG is you wanted to get all messy.
I suppose you might be able to conceive of some gelatinous ooze without the g-force constraints of an internal or external skeleton achieving amazing size, but a probable speed of movement approximating that of a lazy snail, would render it more of a biological curiosity than a scream in terror hazard.
How smart is this critter? Despite its size, is it basically a dumb beast whose existence is devoted entirely to eating, sleeping, and procreating? In terms of intelligence, are we talking about something closer to–for example–a komodo dragon or an elephant? That’s something you should know before planning your attack.
Setting aside any possible ethical questions having to do with whether the monster is the only one of its kind left, how about poisoning it? Assuming its carnivorous, you could just leave in front of its path several tons of beef laced with some type of toxic but imperceptible chemical in an amount guaranteed to kill it dead.
Japanese newscasters would start talking out of sync.