How would you cast a new Flash Gordon movie?

Cafe Society
1

I admit to being a fan of the cheesy 1980 sci-fi movie Flash Gordon. It’s not exactly quality cinema, but it is great brainless over the top fun. However, on a recent re-viewing I could not help but notice that after 35 years the whole thing could use a dusting off - in other words, a remake. Which begs the question: Who should be in it?

I have given this some thought (not too much admittedly) and this is what I have come up with:

Flash Gordon - Chris Hemsworth
For Flash you need someone who can pack a punch, who can deliver good one-liners and who does not take himself too seriously.
Dale Arden - Emma Watson
Dale is the stereotypical damsel in distress. As such the part is a bit thankless as the character could easily be boring. I think Emma could manage to give that character - well … character.
Dr. Hans Zarkov - Christoph Waltz
Zarkov is two parts brilliant and one part crazy - and you never quite know which part is currently on duty. Perfect for Waltz.
Ming the Merciless - Timothy Dalton
Ming needs to be a tall and menacing figure with a booming voice. That’s Dalton. Plus he should play villains more often. The fact that he acually was in the earlier movie would make for a nice footnote.
Princess Aura - Amanda Seyfried
Ming’s daughter is seductive, scheming and mischievous. And yet she is not entirely evil. I believe Amanda could embody that ambivalence quite well.
Prince Barin - Colin Farrell
Barin is a hothead and a free spirit. He hates Ming - but he also hates anyone whom he considers a rival for the affection of his lover Aura. Which means he hates Flash. Colin can play that kind of temper very well.
Prince Vultan - Jason Momoa
Jason has the right physique for the part. But to be sure I would have to hear him say: “Gordon’s alive!?!”

So that’s my cast. Any better ideas? Did I overlook a perfect candidate, or did I maybe even misrepresent one of the characters? What do you think?

2

I would have cast Jason Momoa as Prince Thun. He would look good in lion make-up. But, you are right, he could also make a good Vultan.

Jeremy Irons or Rupert Everett as Klytus. Pretty much the same voice.

Benedict Cumberbatch as a lizard-man. In make-up resembling the comic strip, not the movie.

3

Give Brian Blessed a cameo or I’m staying home.

4

Yeah, Max von Sydow’s still working…

5

Excellent list…now what about remaking Flesh Gordon :slight_smile:

6

Give Brian Blessed a cameo and I’m staying home.

7

Flash - Hemsworth is ok, but, and I’d never think I’d ever say this about him, he’s too good of an actor. To get the feel of Sam Jones as Flash you need someone can’t act at all.

Dale - Jennifer Lawrence
Zarkov - Louis CK
Ming - Gary Oldman
Aura - Olivia Wilde
Barin - Hugh Jackman
Vultan - Jack Black

8

As long as we’re recasting the film, you’d also need to have The Darkness do the soundtrack (unless you just say, “fuck it - re-use the Queen original”).

9

You may have a point there. But who? Steven Seagal is a bit too old by now. So maybe we need an actor who is good at playing someone who cannot act?

Good list. Your idea for Vultan cracked me up. That could actually work.

10

Another vote for an appearance at least by Brian Blessed.

Anyone remember him as Augustus in I, Claudius? The scene where he’s questioning the men alleged to be lovers of his daughter Julia?

11

Shia Laboof!

12

Can you imagine the original auditions:

“No, he’s too good”
“He’s pretty bad, but not bad enough”
“Do you have any less expressive mannequins”
“Sam Jones? Who the hell is Sam Jones? Oh! That guy, yeah, he’s perfect”

13

Why would you want that?

14

I’d cast it entirely with actresses playing male characters, and CGI versions of too-old and/or dead celebrities.

15

Like what? Rosie O’Donnel as Vultan? Mmmh … I dunno.

16

I dunno, how much more mileage can you get out of a twenty second clip of “Flash, whoaoooo”. Apparently they forget to budget for lyrics in the original.

17

A remake of FG would be an ideal way to re-introduce CGI-generated versions of long-dead actors. how about Ronald Reagan as Flash, Fred Astaire as prince Vultan, Humphrey Bogart as Ming? I would love it.

18

Flash Gordon - Wait, Didn’t We Already Give This To Chris Pratt?

19

Yes. I had not picked him, because he had already played the part. He kept calling himself “Starlord” but essentially it was the same thing.

20

I assume I am being whooshed here? Queen did all the music for it - not just the theme song. There’s a soundtrack album by them and everything - indeed, it was the first album I bought with my own money when I was about 10 years old. Hence the need to get another pomp-rock band in to provide an authentic feel.

Although, I’ll be honest, the idea of Justin Hawkins’ power falsetto tackling a cover of Flash’s Theme is promising.