How would you defend Star Simpson in court?

Pretend you’re the attorney who has to defend Star Simpson, who is accused of terrorism in a fake bomb scare. What would be your defense argument/strategy?

Lack of intent.

Step #1) Stop laughing at the idiot.

Step #2) When you start again, refer to Step #1).

Step #3) Plead the sucker out.

Step #4) If this doesn’t work, stop laughin at the idiot.

Step #5) Try to pretend he’s an emotional wreck and wasn’t thinking clearly.

Dimished Capacity.

Step #6: find out what sex your client is before you represent her.

If the fuse ain’t lit, you must acquit
That, or the Chewbacca defense.