Personally, I am always annoyed at the fact that men are now considered predators by default. But regardless, one thing occurs to me.
Treadmills don’t tend to be bolted down, the gym could move the treadmill so that it is not facing that window. The fact that it remains there, facing that window, indicates that it is not a problem in general for people to be looking through the window.
In general, if something is ok for everybody else, then it will always annoying to find that its different for you. Perhaps not annoying enough to actually give a shit, but I can understand why this guy would be peeved. Its can’t be particularly nice to see that some busybodies have assumed you are a danger and don’t want you near them. Even if it doesn’t really matter such things still rankle. Just human nature.
If the letter was written to a newspaper, and it’s on the newspaper’s website, there’s no privacy to be protected here. Link away.
I used to go to a local Y at lunchtime to work out. The Y’s weight room was in a big glass enclosure that looked out on the entryway. During the summer months, the Y had a thriving child-care program, ranging from first graders up through early teens.
I can’t tell you the number of times I’d be straining like a goober, pushing my muscles to their utmost to get in that last rep with a five-pound weight, when I would notice several little kids lined up against the glass wall on their way into or out of the Y. Apparently the facial expressions I made while I worked out were quite entertaining.
I wish MY mom had been around to close a blind for me.
I don’t get this whole “men are predators by default” thing. I am 38 and single. I go to a park with my dog all the time and kids are everywhere. They often come up to my dog and want to pet him, which I allow. Not once has a mom or dad ever once acted like I was some sicko trying to do something wrong. Most of the time I’ll chat with the kid and ask if he/she has a dog there too, etc. Maybe I’ve just been lucky.
In NYC, it’s illegal to sit on a bench in many parks/ playgrounds if you aren’t accompanying a child.
I find this policy extremely annoying as I often want a place to sit and make phone calls and eat a light lunch between appointments but I don’t take it personally.
I think it was much more likely to be a case of “let’s protect our adult customer from being annoyed by a bunch of loud kids” than it was “let’s protect our children from being ogled by a possible pervert”.
This moves beyond overreaction and into creepy. I can see a guy rolling his eyes over this and telling it as a snarky anecdote to friends, and that’s fine. Getting genuinely upset is an overreaction. Fighting for your right to watch toddlers with their moms? Creepy and awful. This guy is a creepy, awful person.
Can you cite this? I’m skeptical, but I could be wrong.
Our public library used to have a sign in the children’s section saying an adult must be accompanying a child. My first year of teaching, I needed some materials from the library, so I went right up to the desk and explained my situation; the librarian laughed and told me I was fine, but that the sign was there because they’d had some creepers hanging around the children’s section, and they needed a firm rule they could point to in order to send the creepers away. I suspect a lot of rules work that way.
Bolding mine. I was leaning toward over-reaction until that statement. “OMG!! There is a MAN on the other side of that glass! Quick, shut the blinds so he cannot ogle us or these precious little snowflakes! AGH!”.
If that statement is accurate, I would be irritated as well. Unless someone went up to him and explained that they wanted to keep the kids from distracting him, it sounds like over-reaction on the part of the women and staff, IMHO. But, to go on a legal hunt over this - over the top.
Did the guy ask the gym management what that was all about? If he didn’t, he’s guilty of assuming the worst about someone without reason, which is exactly what he’s accusing the gym management of doing.
The mother could have been saying “Jaydyn is easily distracted. Is there any way you could close the shade?” Or maybe “The last time Jaydyn was in this class, the lady on the bike by the window got all bent out of shape about the kids looking at her.”
Unfortunately, it’s true that some people who automatically suspect all men of being pedophiles and it’s certainly possible that the reasons for the shade being closed are exactly what he guessed. But there are countless other plausible explanations.
Please do link the story, given that it’s been published.
Dude is way over-reacting. Toddlers? Toddlers have the attention span of a gnat. I’ve had the displeasure of doing shows where a toddler wandered over to the “wings” (outdoor, in-the-park style performance, so I was visible if you turned your head and looked behind the seats but we had the convention that I was “off-stage” and therefore “not seen”) and proceeded to loudly growl and screech at me while I was standing there waiting for my next cue. At least he didn’t try to jump on me. I was far less interesting than what was going on on stage, but you know… toddler. It went on for a minute or so before mom got there to round him up.
I can well imagine that the mom in question didn’t want to deal with him making faces and rawring at the man over there while she was trying to make him pay attention to what they were supposed to be doing in class.
Oh, the inference wasn’t as obvious as you thought. I thought it was your friend suspecting the gym staffer.
I do think your friend is overreacting (under either interpretation). Gyms are a place where I think most of the adult clientele would prefer children not to be underfoot or otherwise conspicuously hanging around. These children programs are more in the nature of babysitting than they are fitness-promoting. That is, their whole point is by and large to keep them out of the paying adults’ hair.
NM. Playgrounds are different from all parks. On the other hand, why are you putting adult activities behind the kids only playground wall if you don’t want adults there? That’s dumb.
Well first and foremost there’s a degree of “methinks the treadmiller protests too much” if he’s so keenly aware and agitated. I wouldn’t even have noticed. If it had been brought to my attention, I would have rolled my eyes at the overprotectedness and forgotten about it.
There’s an even more concerning situation at my gym. There’s a teen athletes training class designed to prep kids for varsity/club sports a few days a week. It’s in the area right next to the basketball court where grown adults regularly play. It’s a much more compromising situation as far as ogling goes and to my knowledge it hasn’t been an issue for management, the kids, or their parents who occasionally wait nearby.
There’s not much more than what I paraphrased in the letter to the paper/on the internet; I’m not really down with posting a link since it has his name and address which I don’t want to put out in the ‘open’ if you will visible to anyone; if you send me a PM promising not to repost it I’ll send you the link to the letter so you can see if I’ve represented it fairly.
Yeah, saw that after I hit submit, but there IS a difference between saying PARKS are off-limits to adults and PLAYGROUNDS are off-limits to adults. At lest the second makes a modicum of sense, and not many adults will want to hang out in a playground with a bunch of shrieking kids that aren’t theirs anyway. Although I still say that having adult-only activities like the chess boards inside the kids-only playground is an incredibly dumb move, and the city either needs to get over it and realize that adults playing chess likely don’t give a rat’s ass about your pwecious snowfwake and would just like to be left alone, thanks, or move the chess boards to another part of the park.
