The gym I go to has a “family locker room” specifically for parents of opposite-sex children. I don’t know what it’s like, I’ve never been there, since it would be a little creepy for an adult without a child along to go in there. But based on the rest of the place, I imagine it’s at least reasonably acceptable, and probably very clean and functional.
In several occasions, however, women have brought boy children who are older than toddlers into the women’s locker room. I’m not saying 8-year-olds, but they look to me to be too old to be there. Their mother may not mind them staring at unclothed women, but it bothers me – a little. And then I tell myself I’m being silly. What the heck to I care if a 3- or 4-year-old boy sees me in my undies? Perhaps the fact that I have daughters but no sons is part of the issue.
How old is too old for this? Am I just being silly? So far I have not said anything to the mothers who do this, nor have I complained to the management. Would you?
On a side note, I’m thinking men probably don’t bring their 4-year-old daughters into the men’s locker room. But I don’t really know.
IMHO, it’s fine for preschoolers to be there, but if they’re old enough to attend kindergarten on their own for half a day, they’re too old to be in women’s bathrooms and dressing rooms.
No we don’t. Unlike women’s locker rooms with individual private showers, men shower communally, and walk about naked throughout the room.
On the other side, I don’t see a problem with pre pubescent boys in a women’s locker room. I just don’t. Can’t explain it other than the women are far less likely to parade in the nude publicly.
This is kind of a tough one these days. I would say up until the age where they notice a difference or when they can be left alone (and safe) for a few minutes is okay, probably up until about 5.
I know that I took my son into the womens’ restroom with me until he was about 5 or so (that was in the olden days when there weren’t many “family” restrooms). But I would have a problem if it were in a room where women are all just standing around in various states of undress without privacy stalls or screens simply because it could make other women uncomfortable.
You are not being silly- if it makes you uncomfortable, then it does. I don’t think it is necessarily bad or wrong for the child to be there but it is odd that a mother (or caretaker) would take the child into the women’s locker room when a “family” locker room is available. I would much prefer to see children taken into the locker room of the opposite sex than to be left alone at that age.
I wouldn’t encourage “complaining” to the management, but might speak to them about encouraging the use of the family locker room by parents with opposite sex children in tow.
The local YMCA has signs that say that the cutoff age is 5 for opposite sex children in the locker rooms. They also have a family locker room like the OP describes (it consists of large stalls, so it really wouldn’t be such a faux pas to go in there without a child. Unlike the other locker rooms, you would be very unlikely to see anyone naked, IIRC) and locker rooms for men and women that are for adults age 18+ only.
I saw a guy do that at a water park when I was in my teens. He then flipped out an started saying something about “perverts” “exposing themselves” to his daughter. :rolleyes: I’m guessing he took it for granted that every guy does that stupid towel dance.
The pool where my son’s swim team practices has a cut-off age of 5 for opposite-sex kids in the change rooms. There are no family change rooms. Last summer, I had to send him in alone to the men’s change rooms after practice. I wasn’t worried about anything happening to him (it was just the swim teams that were there at that time of day), but it’s difficult to motivate a 6 year old boy to stop messing around and get dressed when he’s unsupervised in a room he knows his mom can’t enter. I had to send my 3 year old in a few times to hurry the process up.
Trot out my lil’ anecdote once again…I was 3-4 when my mom brought me into the ladies’ locker room at the (same thing as the) Y. To this day I still clearly remember the tits and bushes, and yes on a certain level I grokked what I was seeing.
All the gyms I’ve been to have women walking around naked in the locker rooms. The shower stalls have always been private, but they change right out in the open and many do in fact walk around completely naked.
As someone who has been in the womens locker room as a young boy, I am all for it. Sometimes, I can close my eyes and still picture being in a room of completely and willingly naked women where it didn’t cost me a cover charge. Wipes away tear
Fast forward to adulthood, I can certainly understand how women are creeped out. Shit, six year old kids are probably far more aware of whats going on under those clothes than I was at the same age. So while I probably didn’t truly appreciate the gift I had been given, these days, who knows whats going on in a kids mind?
If it makes you uncomfortable then I think you should say something to management. If many people feel the same way and don’t say anything, then nothing changes.
Round here the cut off is 6. My daughter’s five and I still take her into the bloke’s changing room when we go swimming (if I am alone)
I don’t give a shit quite frankly, she sees me at home, its just a penis, all guys have them, what is gonna happen? She’s gonna catch that nymphomania?
I think you’re being just a wee bit silly, but you can’t really help the way you feel.
Short of the little bugger walking around with a flag pole or tugging it while he’s looking at you (just be perfectly vulgar) again I really don’t give a shit - even if the kid’s seven or eight (although at that age I would be rolling my eyes that mummy didn’t trust him to get dressed alone)
I was in the lady’s changing room at our local YMCA one evening, and some clueless woman brought her 8 or 9 year old boy into the changing room with her. What the holy fuck, woman? This isn’t Europe; we may be too prudey about nudity here, but you don’t get to single-handedly change the local culture. It was extremely inappropriate.
Someone can correct me if this is wrong, but it interests me that women would be uncomfortable with male children in the locker room because those males might see the older women naked, while the opposite is true for young girls in the locker room; parents wouldn’t want them there because older men might be looking at the naked young girls.
At any rate, I don’t think I’d have much of a problem supervising a child of either sex in the locker room until somewhere around 1st or 2nd grade (6-7 years old).
Same here. I’ve been a member of three gyms here, and all of them had nekkid women walking around. In one gym, there were no changing rooms, so everyone peeled off their clothes and changed in the general public area. In the other two, they had some individual changing rooms, but most women just stripped down in public. All three had individual shower stalls…but in two of them, the curtains or doors were translucent, and didn’t close well, so those who were very modest had problems keeping themselves out of sight. In the third gym, the shower doubled as a changing room, as it had a shower compartment and a changing area, too, though of course women could and did change in the general area, as well, since it wasn’t nearly as cramped.
Interestingly, the female-only gym had individual changing stalls. I mean, there was no chance that a little boy (or a big boy) would be in the locker room, but they offered stalls anyway.
The only times I’ve ever been in a female locker room were back in high school days as a member of a visiting sports team . Seeing the individual stalls including private dry benches adjacent to the shower led me to the misconception.
Thankyou for pointing out my error.
Thanks for the opinions. I think I might take the route of mentioning to management that they should encourage greater use of the family change rooms in this situation. I think a good idea would be for the people at the sign-in desk to take note of opp-sex kids and point out directions to it.
