So if you started a sexting relationship with someone that you thought you were compatible with (opposite sex if you are hetero, or same sex if you are homo); you got off multiple times in sexting dialogue with that individual, but you later learned that the other person was not as they had represented themselves, as proposed by Dorjän above. How would this make you feel emotionally?
Would you feel violated, betrayed, curious, mleh, or not really care?
I honestly am unsure how I would react, as I haven’t ever put myself in that type of situation, but believe that I would probably feel more foolish than anything else and would probably laugh it off.
When I forayed into online dating on Match I was pleasantly surprised to be contacted immediately by an attractive woman. It became quickly clear that it was a scam. I was able to figure out a profile of scammers pretty quickly.
[ol]
[li]Profile pictures were of very attractive women but not outrageously so. 7 or 8s not 10s.[/li][li]Their location settings were very broad. (anyone within 1,000 miles for instance)[/li][li]The photos looked a little too good like they were taken by a professional.[/li][li]The woman was not too young but still on the young side. Late 20s early 30s.[/li][li]They had their height preference set wide open. 3" to 8"[/li][li]They looked vaguely Eastern European.[/li][li]They contacted me. BIG red flag.[/li][/ol]
Luckily I met my girlfriend on the first face to face date I had on Match. I would guess that scammers and catfish are an even bigger problem on paid sites.
Back in the late 90’s when I got my first computer ,I ventured off into one of those AOL chat rooms. Going in, I had no intention of “sexting” with anyone. I was just curious. Anyway, some woman IM’ed me. One thing led to another and I was quite surprised to find myself getting into this thing that I had previously found amusing. It wasn’t until after the fact that I thought to myself: “Ya’ know, there’s really no way for me to know for sure if that was actually a woman.”
I laughed it off. (I never did it again, but I laughed it off.)
“Sorry, I’m not interested in being friends with midgets. Midgets piss me off. Frowny face.”
I don’t think you have to be a homophobe (alter term as necessary) to be pissed off by someone lying about their gender. Hell, the ol’ “posted photos were 5 years and 30 pounds ago” trick is bad enough, and that (might) be a smaller attraction loss than wrong gender. You wasted time and effort in this “relationship,” and now a lying stranger has your dick pics.
In the mid 90s I was quite the personality in a lesbian chatroom somewhere, had a wonderful silly fling with someone who professed love and his maleness in the same sentence. He seemed truly crushed I wasn’t interested in pursuing things offline. The love bit was surprising but we knew 98% of the participants were blokes, that was half the fun - finding and outing them.