Huge advance in Norse research!

It’s true! In an arctic cave in Canada, it turns out they’ve found a frozen Viking explorer. That’s right, and he shows no visible signs of decomposition! They say that using modern technology, they should be able to dethaw him and it will lead to huge leaps in our knowledge of the Norse peoples!

How do they know he’s a Viking? He’s wearing the standard horned cap and furs, and they hope his knowledge of Viking magic will lead to advances in medical knowledge!

Isn’t that amazing? I read it all in the Weekly World News!

What do Viking ships have to do with Nose research?

Who smells the evil lurking in the hearts of men?
The Shadow Nose!

I hear the Buffalo Man and the Bat Boy dug him up.

Haha, that reminds me… did you see the pictures of Bat Boy fighting in Iraq?

Unfrozen Norseman Lawyer!

I seem to recall that there are no examples of Vikings ever wearing horned helmets, except in Wagnerian operas.

Well, scratch that! Speaker says they found him in a horned helmet, so it must be true.

I did. I think he was biting Sadaam Hussein in the neck.

Worse yet, I think Sadaam kind of liked it.

:eek:

Shoulder, actually, if I recall correctly.

And I think there’s some evidence of a very minor use of the horned helmets, but its definitely not “typical.”

I’ve usually heard that Scandinavians hadn’t worn horned helmets since the Bronze Age. The evidence might have changed, though, what with all these frozen Vikings being found… So how long until the WWN reports the discovery of canned Vikings?

[best Pauly Shore voice] Heeyyyy… buuuudddyyy, we gotta unfreeze this caveman dude, bro… he’s totally chillin’… look at the helmet on his melon.[/Pauly Shore]

I’ll just let myself out…

Ok, who else thought this said “Huge advance in Horse research?”

Chops defendant with battle axe