It’s true! In an arctic cave in Canada, it turns out they’ve found a frozen Viking explorer. That’s right, and he shows no visible signs of decomposition! They say that using modern technology, they should be able to dethaw him and it will lead to huge leaps in our knowledge of the Norse peoples!
How do they know he’s a Viking? He’s wearing the standard horned cap and furs, and they hope his knowledge of Viking magic will lead to advances in medical knowledge!
Isn’t that amazing? I read it all in the Weekly World News!
I’ve usually heard that Scandinavians hadn’t worn horned helmets since the Bronze Age. The evidence might have changed, though, what with all these frozen Vikings being found… So how long until the WWN reports the discovery of canned Vikings?
[best Pauly Shore voice] Heeyyyy… buuuudddyyy, we gotta unfreeze this caveman dude, bro… he’s totally chillin’… look at the helmet on his melon.[/Pauly Shore]