He-he, just got back to this thread (stupid stunts you pulled as a kid) and am still laughing…I just thought of another instance of my (it seems nearly constant) retardation. This time I had gone to amaxillofacial oral surgeon, very fancy, to get my wisdom teeth out. The operation was supposed to take about an hour, then I was supposed to wake up and take off (bounding and skipping the way it was described to me.) The description sounded fine, and I was very excited to get some physician sanctioned nitrous-
All went well through the surgery, and things were swell until they decided it was time for me to get out the chair without first bringing me back from general anesthesia- The nurse half-carried my stumbling, drugged body with my head all lolling and drooling and greenish, outside. Little did she know I was still SO under that I was hallucinating, and I would have sworn that we were in some situation where my very LIFE depended on her company, that or I had to tell her something terribly important, I’m not sure.
Either way, she propped me up in a chair in an empty hallway so she could go get my mom to bring the car around (they don’t like to send the after patients out the front door where the before patients can see them.) When I saw her turn away from me, I panicked, I threw myself out to her and tried to say her name- What in my head was a very articulate plea for help came out as a slow gurgle as I more dripped to the floor. My hands, arms and legs were of no use whatsoever so I lay, chin on ground as she scolded me and scooped me back into the chair.
Well, her determination to leave increased proportionate to my determination to have her stay- as I saw her disappear around the corner, I knew that neither hell nor high water would keep me from her, my life and the lives of those I cared about depended on me (yup, those drugs’ll make ya REAL loopy.) I promptly flang myself out of the dumb chair again with no real plan for carrying out my “chase sequence” without the use of my arms or legs…sigh, after a second, I found out that my elbows of all joints actually would listen to me.
Eureka! I slowly and painfully crawled the (6ft?) around the corner and saw paradise (otherwise known as the nurses lounge.) I scooted my nose into the crack and used my head to wedge the door open. It took another couple of seconds to wiggle/slide my shoulders and waist through the opening before I was noticed. The nurses let up an awful shriek when they saw the bloated, begauzed, slithering thing that I was.
Tee-hee, at last, as the nurses were trying to stand me back up I began to come to my senses and think about what was happening. I realized that I was in a room full of hostile people, and they were all trying to touch me. With that information I concluded that the best thing to do was yell my drugged ass off and break for the door! I didn’t make it all the way out to the waiting room before I was subdued again, but needless to say, I haven’t been invited back to that office
Okay, I admit it was a bit of a hijack, maybe I’ll move it to to a new thread, if I can figure out how…