Weird Al Yankovic’s video for “Smells Like Nirvana,” when the marbles start falling out of his mouth.
An “Out of Control” bit about fictional (ie animated) extreme thrill rides - my favorite: the Roto-Vomit. Something about that name…
Futurama:
What have you all nearly died from asphyxiation for?
I always laugh at the Budwieser (?) “Real Men of Genius.”
(From memory) “Budweiser salutes you mister over the top carb counter. For going little things such as ‘job’ and ‘family’ to help you reach your perfect carb number, zero. Was that brocholli 13.6 carbs or 13.7? You ponder this as you start your second bag of bacon. The only thing better than mean and potatoes is mean and meat.”
It was one of those old Pink Panther cartoons.
Man is standing there on the sidewalk with a dog. Inspector Clouseau approaches.
Inspector (in that incredibly thick French accent): Pahdun mee, does your dug bahht?
Man with dog (same accent): Why no.
Dog bites Inspector on leg.
Inspector (angry): AIEEEE! I sought yeuh said your DUG dinnut BAHHT!
Man (cool): Zat’s nut mah dug.
William Shatner’s infamous door scene from Airplane II.
Dam I suck. only thing better than meat and potatoes is meat and meat
The scene in Monty Python’s “The Life of Brian” where he gets out of bed (nude), and goes out onto his balcony to bask in the glorious rays of the sun light…
The classic “It’s just a flesh wound” scene from Search for the Holy Grail…
The campfire scene in “Blazing Saddles” literally had me falling out of my chair with laughter when I first saw it in the theater.
“Dead Parrott”
“Gonna crush Poland…gonna take over France…Then I’m gonna cross the English Channel, and kick them cats in the pants!”
Oh yeah. Great ads. 
“We salute YOU, Mr. Bad Toupee Wearer. You think it looks ‘natural,’ but in fact, it wouldn’t look more fake if it had a chin strap.”
The Overly Sincere Rocker in the background just pushes it further into the realm of comic genius.
Also, as someone else once pointed out, I nearly lost the ability to breathe the first time I ever saw an episode of Aqua Teen Hunger Force. I’m not a big cartoon watcher, and I just stumbled across it. Brilliant!
Young Frankenstein is one of the best comedies ever made and I think it’s brilliant throughout, but Gene Hackman has one line in particular that cracks me up every time I think of it:
“Cigars!”
Can’t explain it, you have to see it.
There are a few Dave Barry columns that have had me LOL.
On an episode of Taxi, Louie (Danny DeVito) latches onto Jim’s (Christopher Lloyd) ear with a vise grip. Jim just sits there reading his comic book, so Louie goes back to his dispatcher’s cage. Five minutes later, Jim springs to his feet, claps his hand to the side of his head, and bellows in pain:
OWWW!!!
These scenes from the MST3K Experiment “Village of the Giants” by Bert I. Gordon…
plotline in a nutshell;
annoying child genius creates a compound in his “secret lab” that causes animals (including humans) that eat it to grow to massive size, annoying teens break into the lab, steal the compound, eat it, become big, and terrorize the town…
the first scene;
Genius feeds the growth compound to his terrier, lets it outside, “magical growing music” plays, genius opens the door to let the dog back in, only to find it’s grown to 100 times it’s original size and can’t get in thru the door (done by a cheap bluescreen effect)
Crow; (deep voice) WOOF!
Genius; C’mon in boy!
Mike; I can’t, i’m a cheap effect
another scene;
the annoying teens are eating a roasted duck that Genius fed the growth compound to;
Mike; Yeah, i’ll bet the flesh of a huge, mutated duck will have no effect on them…
however, the funniest scene is in “Genius’s” (annoying kid) lab in his parents basement, one of the soon to be “giant” teens breaks in thru the basement window and he starts rummaging thru the lab
as the camera pans across a table of lab equipment, the pan stops at a gumball machine “bank”…
Servo; Mom?!?, Mom!!, it’s her! (mutters happily)
teen spies gumball machine
S; (angrily)Don’t you touch my mother!
teen reaches into his pocket and grabs a coin
S; no, she CANNOT be bought for pocket change!
teen puts in coin
S; MOM!!!, (sadly) she’s selling out for a nickel (cries) i have no mother…
annoying teen steps in a bear trap that “Genius” had rigged up to some fireworks as a “security system”
S; GOOD!!
Crow; now it looks like he’ll have to cut his foot off with his pen knife…
the entire movie is so badly done (as if B.I.G films can be done any other way) that it’s unintentionally funny even without Mike and the Bots helping it along
Blackadder the Second - “Beer” episode when Baldrik brings the turnip out.
turns out that “Genius” was a young Ron Howard…
How John Cleese could keep a straight face is beyond me.
The Ocean liner stateroom scene from A Night At The Opera , starring the Marx Brothers.
Groucho keeps inviting more & more people into the cabin, until it’s overflowing.
Edited by Bosda. Copyrighted by whoever owns it, not me or the Reader.
A NIGHT AT THE OPERA
STATEROOM SCENE
Groucho finishes ordering from the steward and steps back into his cabin, closing the door.
Groucho: Well that’s fine. If that steward is deaf and dumb, he’ll never know you’re in here.
Chico: Why sure, that’s all right…
(A knock on the door)
Groucho: Yes?
Chambermaid: We’ve come to make up your room.
Chico: Are those my hard boiled eggs?
Groucho: I can’t tell until they get in the room. Come on in, girls, and leave all hope behind. But you’ve gotta work fast 'cause you’ve gotta get out in ten minutes…
Chico: Hey, Tomasso. Wake up. They’re gonna fix the beds…
Groucho (to the chambermaids): Say, I’d like two pillows on that bed there, huh?
(As the chambermaids struggle to get to the beds, Harpo/Tomasso in his semi-conscious state begins to drape himself over the chambermaids.)
Groucho (to Fiorello/Chico) Hey, there’s a slight misunderstanding here. I said the girls had to work fast - not your friend.
Chico: He’s still asleep…
Groucho: You know he does better asleep than I do awake?
Chico: Yeah, he always sleeps that way. Now he’s half asleep.
Groucho: Yes, he’s half asleep and half nelson…
(A knock at the door)
Groucho: Yes?
Engineer: I’m the engineer. I’m here to turn off the heat.
Groucho: Well, you can start right in on him.
Chico: Wake up, Tomasso… Tomasso, we’re a gonna eat soon…
Groucho: You know, if it wasn’t for Gottlieb, I wouldn’t have got this room? (a knock on the door) Just hold him there a second…
Manicurist: Did you want a manicure?
Groucho: No, come on in! I hadn’t planned on a manicure, but I think on a journey like this, you ought to have every convenience you can get… (Tomasso’s foot gets in the way of the manicurist). Hey, listen, I’m getting the manicure. Get out of here, will ya?
Manicurist: Did you want your nails long or short?
Groucho: You’d better make 'em short. It’s getting kind of crowded in here. I don’t know. This isn’t the way I pictured an ocean voyage. I always visualized sitting in a steamer chair with a steward bringing me bouillon. You couldn’t get any bouillon in here unless they brought it in through a keyhole.
(A knock at the door)
Engineer’s assistant: I’m the engineer’s assistant.
Groucho: You know, I had a premonition you were going to show up. The engineer’s right over there in the corner. You can chop your way right through… Say, is it my imagination or is it getting crowded in here?
Chico: I’ve got plenty of room…
(A knock at the door)
Groucho: Yes?
Woman: Is my Aunt Minnie in here?
Groucho: Well, you can come in and prowl around if you wanna. If she isn’t in here, you can probably find somebody just as good…
Woman: Well, can I use your phone?
Groucho: Use the phone?! I’ll lay ya even money you can’t get in the room! This boat will be in New York before you can get to that phone…
(A knock at the door)
Cleaning lady: I came to mop up.
Groucho: Just the woman I’m looking for. Come right ahead. You’ll have to start on the ceiling. It’s the only place that isn’t being occupied… (knock at the door) Tell Aunt Minnie to send up a bigger room, too, will ya? (knocking again)
Steward: Stewards…
Groucho: Ah, come right in!
Chico: Hey, Tomasso, the food! The food!
Groucho: I’ve been waiting all afternoon for you stewards…
(The stewards crowd into the room as Harpo/Tomasso dives onto the trays in his semi-conscious state. The next visitor is none other than Mrs. Claypool, who after knocking on the door, finds the cabin suddenly bursting open as people cascade into the ship’s hallway.)
John Cleese as Basil Fawlty in ‘Fawlty Towers’ when his car started acting up he gets out and disappears off screen for a few seconds and then returns with a branch to start beating the car with. Also, when he was trying to hang the moose head on the wall and Manual tries to have a conversation with the head. Oh, and when he was going to insert the garden gnome into Riley, the building contractor. Damn, and when he is doing charades for the Germans trying to get them to guess Hitler.
Peter Sellers as Inspector Clouseau quizing the blind guy about who owns the ‘Minkey’.
“The Party” with Peter Sellers. Pretty much the whole thing, but especially Peter trying to point out to the drunk waiter the Cornish Game hen stuck on the blonde’s tiara across the table.
Rowan Atkinson getting his head stuck in a turkey as ‘Mr. Bean’.
Jim Carrey telling the women he had just had sex with, “I’ve had better”, when asked about her performance in ‘Liar, liar’. The way he laughs at himself the next day while he brushes his teeth is priceless.
“In living color”. Homey the Clown’s “Homey don’t do that” routine. Also, Jim Carrey as Capt. Kirk screaming at Spock (I think played by Keenan Ivory Wayans), “Are you out of your Vulcan mind, Spock?!”. The way he made vulcan sound like f***ing still kills me.
‘Support your local Sheriff’ when one of the Danby boys asks Walter Brennen if he was dying his hair. The look from Brennen at the end of the conversation breaks me up everytime.
Woody Allen ‘Stand Up Comedy’, especially ‘Eggs Benedict’ and ‘Hey! Red!’.
Robin Williams, ‘Live At The Met’. Pretty much all of it. The finest comedy performance I’ve ever seen. Genius on heat.
Billy Connolly, ‘Big Banana Feet’. Best ever video of his best ever tour, now seemingly impossible to get hold of.
Lots and lots of Fawlty Towers scenes, especially ‘The Germans’ and the fire drill sequence, which is pretty much my metaphor for all of life.
Laurel & Hardy, ‘The Music Box’. Trying to move a piano up some steps on a hill. Another of my favourite metaphors for life.
Buster Keaton, ‘The General’. The supreme achievement of the silent era.
Chris Rock, ‘Bring the pain’, ‘Bigger and blacker’. Superb achievements both. Anyone who can mentally reach from Hillary Clinton to Aquaman has a mind that works in a very special way.
Lots of James Thurber’s output.
Many passages from ‘Catch-22’ and ‘Good As Gold’ by Joseph Heller.
Many passages by Jerome K. Jerome in his various books.
‘Mr Simnock’ sketch by Fry & Laurie. The single funniest comedy sketch I’ve ever heard or seen (I actually heard it on audio cassette before I ever saw it as televised). I’ve never known anyone who could listen to this and not laugh out loud. Gorgeous writing, beautifully performed, and actually with a sort of point to it as well.
Lots of Eddie Izzard stuff, including all the stuff I was privileged to see him do before he was famous.
I could go on forever, but I’ll be kind and stop.
There was an article by George Plimpton in the early 1970s in “Atlanta Monthly” or some such about a charity golf tournament in Detroit run by Alex Karras and Co.
I couldn’t even finish it. I’d go into the reading room, read a few paragraphs, and have to leave. Even if I was alone I couldn’t possibly continue reading as my eyes watered up so much from trying to stifle my laughter.
There were all sorts of terrible things Karras did to annoy the golfers, such has have a mariachi band follow one guy around, etc. Full-tilt pro athletes trying to throw off each other’s games.
Most of Plimpton’s stuff was this “well, that’s sort of interesting” kind of writing, but this was a whole 'nother thing.
Ah, yes… when you laugh so hard that you don’t even make laughing sounds anymore and you’re just kind of twitching while the last bits of air are forced from your aching lungs. I know that feeling well.
Futurama - from the episode “Spanish Fry”
Bender: Fry wake up! It’s me! Bigface! Come out and groom my mangey fur!
Fry: gasp Bigfoot?! You taught yourself English?!
I’m giggling now. I just love that Fry comes immediately to that conclusion. Oh man.
MST3K - “Girls Town”
There’s this scene where a girl is relating a story, with lots of pauses for dramatic effect, and Servo keeps interjecting like this:
*
“You know when you stood Chip up?”
Tom: “He died.”
“He was real sore when he didn’t find you.”
Tom: “And then he died.”
“You always said I was too young to go out so I went.”
Tom: “And then I killed him and he got all dead.”
“Then he started…”
Tom: “Being killed by me…”*
Holy crap but that cracks me up. I had that one on tape and must have watched it dozens of times and it still gets me.
Other things that nearly cause me to die:
A lot of James Lileks’ stuff will have me rolling. Something about the observational-type humor.
Dane Cook makes me laugh entirely too hard. Especially the Burger King drive-thru bit.
Lots of things Eddie Izzard says.
More stuff from Homestar Runner than I could ever list here. The Strong Bad emails “Caffeine”, “Kids’ Book” and “Dragon” probably make me laugh the hardest.
There’s a lot more, but I can’t think of them now. I’m surprised I can remember that much. I figure when I laugh that hard, the lack of oxygen affects my brain’s ability to create memories.
