THIS IS SPINAL TAP. “This one goes to eleven.” I do not know how he kept a straight face.
Fawlty Towers: The Germans. “So, that’s two Colditz salads, a Prawn Goebbels, a Hermen Goering…” and the Hitler impression; “we did not start it!” and “yes you did, you invaded Poland.”
Monty Python. The Ministry of Silly Walks. Argument Clinic. Crunchy Frog. Also, “we found the tiger skin in a bicycle shop in Cairo. The owner wanted us to take it to Dar es Salaam…”
PRINCESS BRIDE. “Mawwiage.”
And finally…
There is also a childish pretend-to-vomit noise that my brother and I share, but it’s kinda complicated to try to explain. I’ll just leave it at this: (drunk voice) “Happy Muvver’s Day, Mom, I got thish tattoo jush for you bleeaaghhhahrrrGHHHHHH…”
This is Spinal Tap, the scene where they lower the Stonehenge stones into the scene. The band is expecting 18 foot high obelisks, and they get 18 inch high styrofoam rocks that the dancing dwarfs keep kicking over.
In the otherwise unremarkable Bruce Almighty there is a scene where Steve Carrell, playing a smarmy anchorman antagonist to Jim Carrey’s field reporter, is manipulated by Carrey (using his new god powers) during his first broadcast.
Whew, what a setup.
Anyway, it is drop to the floor hilarious. Most especially because of the contrast between what he is saying and the panic and confusion on his face as he says it. Carrell is a genius and I wish there was a way to delete everything but that scene from my TiVo, because it’s awesome.
There’s a Tim Conway/Harvey Korman sketch from the Carol Burnett Show that had me literally rolling around on the kitchen floor in tears, it was so funny. But I’ve never seen it on and of the “Best of” shows.
The two guys are British officers on a remote island during WWII…the only two people on the island. Korman (I think) gets a promotion via an air drop of supplies and mail and now outranks Conway, and instantly becomes a power-mad martinet, ordering Conway around…the best part is when he orders Conway to “Parade the troops!” and Conway runs around and around the thatched hut, pretending to be ‘the troops’!!!
I will be the third (and probably not the last) person to add Eddie Izzard to this list.
EVERYTHING in his stand-up routines cracks me up but the one that really has me falling off the couch laughing is the bit in “Glorious” when he can’t get his computer to print.
“Ctrl+P” print! “Ctrl+P” print! “Ctrl+P” print! Print “Ctrl+P”! Print “Ctrl+P”! “Ctrl+P” print! (gibberish) ‘A problem of type 2094 has occurred.’ What the fuck is that? What are the 2,093 other problems I just made to get to that one? “Ctrl+P” print! “Ctrl+P” print! “Ctrl+P” print! (gibberish) Oh, don’t do that… Don’t you crash on me, you… bastard!"
I think it’s the manic way he yells “Ctrl+P PRINT!” that really gets me. And also when the computer tells him it “can’t find printer” and he lifts up the printer and shows it to the monitor saying, “It’s right here!”
Most recently, the Puss in Boots scene in Shrek 2 (where he shows his “I’m such a cute little kitten” eyes) made me laugh so hard my ribs hurt.
Failure to laugh at The Goodies episode “Kung-Fu Kapers” should be punishable by death. (As a matter of fact, laughing at it once caused a man to die - he laughed himself into a heart attack).
“And now, t’geishas will perform t’tea ceremony.”
<enter two traditional char ladies pushing a tea trolley>
YES!! Thank you. How did I forget that? I love how it kept getting played again and again and got funnier every time. It’s also a fun thing to say when you accidentally drop and break something. Which you do a lot, if you’re me.
A girl in a waitress outfit, walking around the park with a peppermill, asking people if they want “fresh ground pepper?”
A man in a snail suit is standing and waiting for the light to change. It does, and he proceeds to lie down on the ground and inch his way through the crosswalk at-quite literally-a snail’s pave.
A man with a violin walks up to a couple dining al fresco, announces he will play some romantic music, and then begins sawing violently at the instrument, stamping his foot and producing an indescribable noise which does not even bear a tangential relationship to music.
In the middle of a crowded restaurant, a cellphone rings. A man picks up a huge (like two feet long) cell phone, puts it to his ear and bellows “HELLO??? NO!!! NO I’M IN A RESTAURANT!..A RES-TAU-RANT!..NO! LOOK I’LL HAVE TO CALL YOU BACK! I CAN HARDLY HEAR YOU!!!”
Python’s “Fish Slapping Dance” just kills me. It’s so stupid, it’s hilarious. I don’t remember why or when but I saw Palin go back to that pier on TV or on a DVD and he jumped in AGAIN.
Kids in the Hall “Dr. Seuss Bible” is just awesome. Even more awesome live. “What shall we do with this uppity Jew?”
Beavis and Butthead still make me laugh hysterically. Especially the original “Cornholio” episode.
“We have a great plan… oh! It’s a bit cold, it’s a bit cold.”
Germany, much later: “We have a better plan, Oh! It’s the same plan, it’s the same plan…”
The Simpson’s “X-Files” episode: Grandpa’s false teeth are “stolen” by a large turtle. So grandpa is chasing the turtle and is unable to overtake it. (Plus the turtle had grandpa’s teeth in his mouth.)
filming a commercial
Orson Welles: Rosebud… yes, Rosebud frozen peas. Full of country goodness and green peaness. Wait, that’s terrible. I quit.
Jay Sherman: Lady, don’t take this the wrong way, but you’re nuts!
Old Lady: Oh, you sound just like the toaster.
I can’t find the specific quote, but it runs something like this… Jay Sherman and his boss are watching a TV show that just shows socks in a dryer.
Jay Sherman: I can’t believe people watch this crap.
Duke Phillips: (seriously) They send it money.
Just about any Dana Gould comedy routine will have me on the verge of pissing myself. In particular, he does one about when he was just getting started as a stand-up and was broke, living in a ratty apartment above an erotic bakery. “So there I am, sitting in the dark in my squalid apartment, gnawing on some day-old chocolate cocks…”
