Husband has been out of work for 5 months

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

So, to sum up briefly what’s been going on in the Whatsit household over the past several months, back in May MrWhatsit got laid off from his job, and then about two days later I found out I was unexpectedly pregnant. Yay!

Anyway, we were rather happy, although surprised, about the pregnancy, and even the layoff didn’t seem too bad at the time. After all, he’s a programmer, he’ll find a new job soon, right?

…right?

Now it’s almost October, I’m starting to show, and he has had exactly one, count it, one callback in the whole time he’s been without a job. And that callback went nowhere. The guy said he’d get back with MrWhatsit after he checked his references, and then never called back.

Anyway, I am starting to seriously freak out. First of all, I would really like to be able to stay home after the birth. We feel that one of us should stay home, and as MrWhatsit’s earning power is more than mine when he actually HAS a job, I’d like the stay at home partner to be me. Also it will make breastfeeding a whole lot easier. Second, even if I do go back to work, I don’t make enough on my own to support us. The only way we’re surviving now is because he’s getting unemployment, which will run out around the time I give birth. How convenient.

I’m just freaking out, bad. I don’t know what to do. He sends out resumes all the time, but nobody EVER CALLS BACK. What is he doing wrong?? He knows C++ and Java, amongst some other programming languages (those are his two main ones, though), and it just seems like somebody out there SOMEWHERE in the greater Seattle area should be able to give him a job. I am nearly approaching full-on panic mode. If he doesn’t find a job by the time the baby is here, we’re not going to be able to afford our rent, and we live in a pretty crappy-ass tiny place as it is. I just don’t know what we’re going to do.

And please, I’d really like it if everyone could refrain from telling me that we should have waited to have kids. I agree. However, the condom broke (TMI, I know) and a pregnancy resulted, and I’m personally opposed to abortion for myself. So here we are.

I don’t know, I guess I’m just looking for support, or commiseration, or something. Every time I think about this, it just makes me want to cry.

2

Well, you asked for something…

Has he been using his free time to learn other programming skills? From what I hear, asp, php, and xml are all excellent “languages” to learn, easy, and practically guarantee that you’ll get hired. (Well, XML may not be that easy, but asp is.)

Other than that, best of luck, congratulations, mazel tov, etc.

BTW, your thread title reminded me of the situation my SO’s parents are in. Except his mom’s not pregnant, that I know of! But SO’s Dad is having a heck of a time finding a job.

3

Thanks, tattva. I did just check his resume, and apparently he is proficient in Java, C++, Javascript, VBScript, ASP, DHTML, and Scheme. I will ask him if he’s ever thought about training up in XML or PHP.

4

Same crap, different marriage.

My husband has been on-and-off looking for a job for 11 months. Inbetween he has some freelance work, but there have been some tense, lean times. It has been hard for me to walk the fine line between being the gentle, supportive loving wife, and being the Person Who Gives Him A Much-Needed Kick In The Ass. If I’d figured out the right balance, I guess I wouldn’t be writing that he’s still out work, would I? Well.

For one thing, I’d recommend trying some of the more-comprehensive web job sites, like altavistas’ careers board. It consistently has more/better job listings than the dozens of others I’ve checked. You might also check into placement firms that specialize in computer folk, like Khorasanee & Associates and Scientific Placement.

What I have not successfully talked Mr. Cranky into doing is going to see a career counseling service. Someone who can talk to him about goals, strategies, punching up his resume, better ways to find openings, and ways to sell himself. I don’t know what these cost, but it could be a worthwhile investment, for obvious reasons.

Also, has he tried to find any contract work (like temp work, no benefits)? I think there are different online job search boards for those. He might get some work that way, something to tide you over.

Your husband has desirable skills. It’s just a matter of bizarro good timing and luck the way jobs get posted.

Try not to fret too much. Your baby is a joyous thing, even if $$ is a little tight.

5

MsWhatsit, I just want to offer a little support. You may be broke, you may have a tiny, crappy place, but your kid is still going to be okay. S/he will have two loving, educated parents, first of all, and how often does it work out that way anymore? And it’s not like you’d let the little bugger starve and/or freeze to death, no matter how long the Mister is unemployed.

Things will work themselves out. Trust me. I have been there. In 1999 I was caring for one- and two-year-old daughters and a newly-acquired eight-year-old, emotionally disturbed stepson who had been hidden from his dad for four years. One morning after getting the stepson ready for school, Mr. Jane walked right back in the door he’d just exited to head to work. Same scenario. He ended up with a much better job. No one went hungry, but I cried a lot. I felt like the world was crashing down around me. You might too, but things will get better.

Finally, congratulations! And a small piece of advice: I went natural with both of mine. Do not make this mistake. It will be your last opportunity to enjoy drugs, or any other mind-altering substance, for eighteen to twenty-one years. Believe me, in two years you’ll know why. I wish I had some kind of altered state to look back and meditate on. :wink:

6

{{{MsWhatsit}}}

Not quite that bad, but I’ve been laid off for 3 months, and I’m the sole support for myself, two cats and a mortgage.

Best of wishes, it’s a really tough job market right now.

7

There are a few strategies you can use but more powerful than anything else is networking with his friends who have jobs and keeping his ear to the ground. You also might have to commit yourself to moving to an area where his skills are in greater demand.

Conferences, or professional conventions and get togethers are also prime places for sniffing out the best jobs.

Here is monster.com listing for C++ type programming jobs in the Seattle area. There seems to be a whole bunch but possibly they have other requirements that his resume criteria does not meet.

http://jobsearch.monster.com/jobsearch.asp?cy=US&brd=1&lid=647&fn=6&q=c%2B%2B
I am in sales (commercial real estate specifically) and although I am a latent hardware geek I have little direct experience with the technical job market, but I do know something about how businessmen think because I deal with them all day and with respect to employers making the choice of x over y a little Dale Carnagie “can do” attitude goes a long, long way in getting the interviews and jobs you desire. Taking a DC class or joining the local Chamber of Commerce might seem lame but they often shine like diamonds to prospective employers as reflections of stability and character.

As a last point, because your situation (as described by you) seems to getting critical, I will mention something that I hope does not irritate you. Your husband is a good looking guy but his extremely long hair (assuming it is still long) is possibly off putting to some employers. Yes, I know that programmers are expected to be “different” but insofar as this is a tight job market with all the ex dot.com programmers in the marketplace he needs to do what he can (within reason) to make himself as employable as possible which might involve getting haircut until he lands a job at which point I am sure his “mad skillz” with make his hair length irrelevant.

As a last, last point I will mention something that I am sure is not happening in your situation but did happen to me just after I got married and was just out of college. I was employed and my wife was supposedly diligently looking for job as a teacher, which is what she had her degree in (childhood ed) After many months had passed and nothing had come together I finally asked her what was going on and it turned out she was confused and frustrated and depressed had been going to the library all day for some months and hanging out.

If there is even the remotest possibility this is happening you need to address it immediately (with compassion and understanding) before it shatters your marriage. If he is tired of programming it’s better to approach the situation proactively.

Good Luck.

8

Oh man, I am so there. My husband and I both worked for the same company when it went out of business in May. We still do not have jobs. To say the savings is depleted is a vast understatement.

My husband is an executive and I’m a regular joe. Neither of us are getting hardly any responses. One recruiter told us that he is getting over 1000 applicants for every position and that everyone else he knew was too.

I know it’s terribly hard and the stress is almost more than you can take, but try to keep up hope.

9

Thanks for the advice, astro. I am 99% sure that MrWhatsit is not just sitting on his butt doing nothing, because for one thing, he has to send out at least three resumes a week just to keep up his unemployment claim. And I know he’s been sending out more than that, because I’ve seen him do it. As for the hair, well, he’s not cutting it. The advice is sound, but, it’s not happening. This is the person he is, and I knew that when I married him. Also, I have to say that his hair length has been totally irrelevant in the job search so far, because he hasn’t even gotten as far as an interview yet. I will talk to him about possibly joining local service organizations or that sort of thing, though.

And I appreciate everyone else who has responded so far, as well. It is somewhat helpful to me, perverse as it may be, just to know that we’re not the only ones this is happening to.

10

MsWhatsit, my husband was laid off from a job he’d thought was secure a year and a half ago. We weren’t too worried, even though he’s the only wage-earner for four people and we were in debt; we figured he was in a great field and was in demand. People had actually approached him in the previous few months to see if they could hire him away. No sweat, right?

Wrong. Even though two companies expressed what looked like serious interest and the people he knew who worked at each place were sure he’d be offered a job, it just never materialized. He was out of work for three months even though he works in a highly specialized, highly in-demand field and there were companies looking for someone like him. For some reason, it just didn’t happen right off. But it did happen, and he’s now in a job he likes a lot better, making more money than he was before.

It’ll happen for your family, too. In the meantime, try to let go of any anxiety that you have no control over. Once you have a child, I think you start realizing how little control you actually do have over a lot of things. And remember, if everyone waited until their lives were just right to have kids, no one would ever have any.

11

I know the feeling. I have been out of work for 5 months as well. The computer industry is really horrible since the Dot Com and Y2K busts. I most likely will have to go back into retail just to make ends meet. I hate it, but sadly its something that has to be done. Could that be a temp solution for Mr. Whatsit?

12

Has MrWhatsit tried Geekfinder? I think a lot of PNW coding-type jobs show up there, and there seem to have been a lot of success stories from it.

Good luck to you both, and congrats on the upcoming bundle of joy!

13

I can only offer my sympathies to MsWhatsIt.

Truth is, with the economy the way it is now, the tech market is just absolutely wretched – and this was before the events of September 11. Lots of companies are posting jobs, but positions are few and far between, and each one has three dozen folks competing for it before the type is cold. I was laid off in April, and contrasting my job-hunt efforts then with the market just nine months ago was as different as night and day.

I only managed to find a job after two months by calling on some old contacts and taking a pay cut. I can’t even begin to imagine the pressures you and your husband are feeling, if he’s been looking for five months and you’re almost due to give birth…

Again, I’m sorry I can’t help, but I can definitely offer my sympathies. This market is definitely something beyond anyone’s control.

14

If he’s sending out lots of resumes and he’s not getting any responses, I see two possible problems:

a) the “lots” he’s sending is not “lots” enough. He should pretend he has a full-time job; he should spend 8 hours a day every day doing three and only three things: a) looking for openings, 2) sending resumes to those openings, and 3) calling the companies and following up. I’m a big believer in process and tracking. If I were him, I’d keep a spreadsheet of every one he’s sent out, each time he called into them, who he talked to, what the feedback has been.

b) His resume may need some beefing up. If you post it, I’m sure you’ll get plenty of advice, most of it good. If you’d like you can send it to me. I’m in the business, I’ve coded for years, I’ve seen literally thousands of resumes for people with qualifications like his, and I’ve hired hundreds of people. I’ll be happy to review it for you.

15

Oh, and hang in there. Everything will work out; it always does. You’re right to worry, but channel that into a positive outcome. Don’t let yourself freak out.

16

What a coincidence! One week after I was layed off (Sept 5) my wife announces that’s shes pregnant with our first child.

No problem, programmers are in high-demand and I’m sure to get another job quickly. Nope.

My first suggestion to your husband is to get the hell out of Seattle! There are too many tech people there and he won’t find a job that won’t have three dozen people fighting for the position. Move to Minneapolis, MN, where I am; I get three or four responses a week and have at least one or two interviews a week. It’s not good but considering the current IT job market it’s not bad either.
DR

17

OK, well, for anyone who wants to review his resume, it’s up at:

http://www.drizzle.com/~keitha/resume.html

Comments would be welcome. (I cleared it with him before posting this, btw.)

18

Has hubby registered with some temp agencies? Surprisingly often, temp assignments turn into permanent work.

19

Resumé seems a little short. When I took a class on finding a job they taught me to put approximate dates on everything, not just the amount of time you worked there. Also, though it’s redundant since he has a college degree, he should include his high school. There’s lots more I can’t remember, but that resumé definitely could be filled out more. That might be holding him back - even though he has good experience and skills, when companies get lots of resumés they just glance at them and your husband’s may look small compared to others.

20

MsWhatsit, my sympathies to you both. I’ve been through the stress of being out of work or having a partner out of work (thank god, not both of us at the same time), and it’s awful. My suggestions:

  1. You’re renting, so you may not be totally rooted in Seattle. Think about having MrW apply to places outside of the Pacific NW. (Put aside $300 for airfare in case he gets an interview he needs to fly to.) Seattle is CRAMMED with out-of-work programmers and tech folks right now, and many of them ARE wedded to the place, or want to be and won’t consider moving until their unemployment runs out. Which means you can get in ahead of them, if Mr. Whatsit start applying anywhere now. Remember, if you love the city, you can always move back in a few years; right now having a job may be more important. When the LO was out of work after she graduated, moving was what it took to get her a job - if we’d stayed where we were, she’d still be temping and miserable. Also, the cost of living will be cheaper in some other places; you might be able to get by on less. (Note I’m not saying you should move right now - just that you should both look outside your area and be prepared to move if either of you gets an offer.)

  2. If he hasn’t already, MrW should go to the library and check out What Color Is Your Parachute?. It talks in detail about other strategies besides resumes and job listings - and those strategies are usually more sucessful, especially for someone who has experience but is in a stressed market. It also talks about how to handle this kind of situation - things you can do in the meantime.

  3. Temp work and freelance work can tide you two (and a half) over and keep his resume looking good while he waits. And if he registers with tech temp firms, he may end up with a temp to perm job.

  4. Have him create different resumes to highlight different skills, and have him start thinking of what else he could do. I’ve looked at his resume, and it’s pretty specific - it mentions a fast-paced software company, for example, when those skills could be used at hundreds of other kinds of companies. He should make one more general programming resume to send to other kinds of jobs, a website-management resume, a technical writing resume if he can do that well enough to do it full time, a teaching resume for extension/community college/job training places, and a tech support resume. At minimum. And he should make a list of all his other skills, think about the kinds of jobs they might apply to, and then make resumes and do searches for those.

  5. I assume that’s just a web summary of his paper resume; it has a few errors and could use some formatting and reworking if it isn’t. It needs dates rather than time worked, for example, and it definitely needs to make his skills and good experience pop more than they currently do. I can’t explain it too well, but - he needs, for example, to talk about the kinds of management experience he has. He needs to talk about the kind of success he’s had, what he’s brought to the places where he works, and his working strengths as well as his technical skills. That resume needs to be longer and stronger.

Hang in there. This is a cruddy market, but things will get better. Best of luck to you. (And congratulations on the baby.)