Hypochondria, anyone?

A few months ago I noticed that the edge of my tongue looks scalloped. I looked around, but haven’t been able to find that symptom mentioned anywhere. What is up with that???

I also have a lump on my knuckle which has been there for a similar period of time. It doesn’t hurt and has never been injured, but it just doesn’t go away. Do you think it might be serious?

And don’t tell me to see a doctor because it’s not gonna happen!):slight_smile:

You’ll probably be dead by the time you read this, but it was fun talking anyway.

Rumor has it that scalloping along the edge of your tongue usually leads to knuckle lumping.

Then your testicles fall off. Sorry.

In what type of dung do you specialize? Some dung has a very high acid content and could be the cause of your tongue scalloping. I know you dung beetles are resistant to any diet change, but if you would consider at least trying the droppings of another species I think you may see improvement. I have no first hand knowledge to pass on to you, but if your location is really Florida you may want to try armadillo (small piles, but I hear they’re tasty), alligator (be careful to avoid the end with teeth!), or manatee (requires getting wet).

As to the knuckle lump, the answer is silverware. Eating with your hands is fun, I know. Squishing the dung between your fingers only increases the bouquet and enjoyment, but at the expense of early knuckle joint failure. I’m afraid that’s what you’re facing, DB. Either start eating with a knife and fork (or spoon for the runnier meals) or face knuckle

(Cont’d since I hit the wrong durn button)

…replacement surgery in the not-so-distant-future. Not a pleasant experience, my friend. Your condition is analagous to Carpal Tunnel Syndrome. It’s common name is Crappy Knuckle Syndrome (CKS). Don’t take my word for it, seek out a CKS support group near you. They’re listed in the brown pages.

Good luck and keep rolling!

Apparently, you have Dampness due to Deficient Qi or Stagnation of fluids. Can you buy Qi at your local Alberson’s? Do you have a choice between bottles and cans? :dubious:

Perhaps you could try some Vitamin B3.

Or you could just be (warning: Word Doc format) pushing your tongue into your teeth at night (another reference here). The cure for that is, just stop it! :wink:

Or see a dentist/periodontist.

Or you could just start planning your funeral. I promise to weep if you die, which, given the knuckle thing, is likely to happen anyway. :frowning:

Holy crap! My testicles are already gone and in fact, I don’t even remember ever having had any! Looks like an advanced case of CKS. I knew it!

Seriously, thanks for those links, Shayna.