I think the irrational part is where the OP sits, staring in terror, afraid to even walk back to the car or make a scene. Why would she make a scene? The dog isn’t doing anything. The dog is just sitting there, apparently minding its own business. If it takes five minutes before the OP even notices the dog’s presence - it’s clearly a very well-behaved dog.
Clearly the rational thing to do is to address the specific situation - of a dog sitting quietly and undisturbed - on its own merits and not on some generalization.
I wouldn’t have expected to be warned about the dog being there, nor would I be any more concerned about it than I would be another guest bringing his thuggish-looking 14 year old. Actually, the thuggish -looking 14 year old would have me more on edge.
I feel like I’m late to the party (not the OP’s party) but it doesn’t matter, because post #1 nailed it for me anyway. Also, previous post from Vihaga.
Look, randomly bringing a dog - any dog, even a tiny Yorkie that’s in your damn purse the entire time - to a party unannounced seems a bit … forward, if not just straight-out impolite. But the OP is also being totally ridonculous, imho.
But seriously, how’m I supposed to answer the OP and also not “let this become a discussion about whether pit bulls are all that dangerous” at the same time?!? WTF?
I would be a little bugged because all anyone would want to talk about would be how the cute puppy is. Bringing your puppy to a party is a surefire conversation starter (read “chick magnet”) but is kind of annoying.
On the other hand, if someone brought a fully gown poodle or similar ankle biter I would be seriously bugged. With out a doubt the dog would spend the whole party rubbing its wet nose on me or trying to climb onto my lap and the owner would just think that is so precious.
I wouldn’t expect my friend to warn me about a dog of any breed being present. Once I got there - if it was just me, I wouldn’t particularly care - I’d just avoid the dog regardless of breed or size. If I had my kids with me, I’d ask if they could leash the dog - again, regardless of breed or size. If they declined to leash, we’d leave. All it would take is the dog walking past my youngest unexpectedly and she’d wind up in hysterics.
I don’t particularly care for surprise dogs at parties, but the breed doesn’t concern me - I assume that I don’t associate with anyone stupid enough to bring a vicious dog to a barbecue. I would be more concerned with shih tzus there, because apparently those dogs can’t be trained to be in polite company. :rolleyes:
Zoe, if you do have a phobia of dogs, it isn’t making a scene to politely say to your host, “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize there would be dogs here. I’m not very comfortable with dogs, so I’m going to go. Can we get together later in the week?” or something like that. You can’t expect the world to accommodate your phobia, but you are allowed to stick up for yourself.
I have been bitten by a dog, and would not be any more concerned than I am by any other breed. I would probably ask the owner if it was okay to pet the dog and spend some time oohing and ahhhing.
Most people can’t identify a pit bull on sight anyway.
No problem as long as the hosts were okay with having the dog there. If it was a stray dog, then I have to make the decision do I take it home? Because I need another dog like I need a hole in my head, but I’m not able to look the other way unless it seemed like the dog had just wandered from a home nearby.
If I were hosting a get-together where all of the guests didn’t already know each other and there was no reason to think that a dog might be present, you can bet your ass that I wouldn’t allow anyone to bring a dog until I made sure that none of the other invited guests had an allergy or phobia. It would be rude/thoughtless not to. However, like Tamerlane said, it would absolutely not occur to me to mention the dog’s breed. But I also wouldn’t allow anyone to bring a dog that I hadn’t met/couldn’t vouch for.
Now, I have a dog. So, in reality, anyone coming to my house would know that one would be around. But I have never invited anyone over without disclosing the dog’s presence (because allergies are common and phobias are not unheard of), and I would never bring my dog somewhere else without making sure that the host(s) and all of the other guests were ok with it.
If Zoe’s hypothetical does, in fact, feature her as the one who couldn’t take her eyes off the pit bull, then yes: she has an irrational phobia. But all phobias are irrational, and I won’t take her to task over that any more than I would take someone with a fear of spiders to task. It might help if her ignorance about pit bulls were faught, as some of you are trying to do, but a fear of dogs is a fear of dogs. She can’t expect the world to accomodate it, true, but it’s certainly reasonable for her to expect that her host would make an effort to.
Only if the host was aware that you had a phobia of dogs. If he knew that, he should have told you if ANY dog would be there.
If you do not have a phobia of dogs, I don’t understand the OP; the dog seems well-behaved from the description. Why were you so terrified it ruined the evening? Furthermore, why would you think asking a person to leash their dog if you’re scared of it would be “making a scene?” You don’t have to scream “OMG PIT BULL !!~!~!~!” while macing everything in sight when “Excuse me, I’m very frightened of dogs. Can you leash it please?” is perfectly polite request.
Zoe, I’m sorry this one made you so nervous, but to me, unless the thing’s got its head down and its teeth barred, or is ambling aimlessly down a dirt road in the dusty Macomb afternoon, a doggie is a doggie.
I have to add that I have been made tense by the presence of an unleashed dog at a party before. But it was because this was a very tiny dog running around underfoot and I was sure some thoughtless oaf was going to step on the little cutie.
I was at a public event for dogs once where this happened. The Fairfax County K-9 Krawl 5k (warning: .pdf) is attended by all sorts of people with dogs, and they have information and freebie-giveaway tables. Someone was gazing at the goodies while a tiny terrier was following behind her on a leash one year, and some oaf just stepped backward without looking and trod right on the little one. Snapped the poor critter’s leg.
Although the person walking the dog was also at fault (keep tiny animals in view in a crowd situation!), everyone should also watch where they step around small animals, please!
No. The guest has the host’s permission. If you/ your friend/ or the hypothetical person has an irrational fear of certain type of dog it is their problem to deal with. Reputation is irrelevant as it is based on misinformation, fear mongering, and an irresponsible portrayal of a dog as a status object in popular culture.
I do not know where your BBQ was held but here they are usually outside.
The only problem with dogs is if they pull the food off your plate on the table. That is just a rude dog. Thumping their head with a spoon soon learns them the error of their ways.
I can’t think of a person who would invite me to anything where I would have a problem with one of my beliefs. If I know I am not of the majority, ( Me normal or of the majority… snerk ) I would be the one responsible of stating that up front upon receiving the invitation that no monsters with one eye and one horn that fly and are purple can be there if they want me to attend.
Unless your friend was aware of your fear of dogs then why would he have thought to warn you?
Well-behaved dogs are always welcome at my house regardless of breed as long as they get along with my Dobie, don’t bother the cats and are good with people. The vast majority of my friends are dog-friendly and/or responsible dog owners so we’ve never had an issue with this.
I’ve had my hands on hundreds of pitbulls so they aren’t a specific cause of worry for me.
Without reading any other responses: no, I wouldn’t be worried, wouldn’t be afraid to walk to the car, etc.
Pits may well be more prone to attacks - I am not qualified to comment on that. However, this is presumably a dog that is being well cared for and socialized (evidenced by the fact that it’s being brought to a gathering rather than, say, being left on its own at home or in a kennel). I’ve never heard of a pit attacking when it was with its human in that sort of situation - mostly it’s dogs that are at least somewhat unsupervised, intact males, sometimes when it’s 2+ of them, etc.
You also say “not grown” - I’d be more worried about normal puppy / adolescent dog rambunctiousness than any breed-specific concerns. You know, the sort of thing where the dog jumps up on you in enthusiasm, mouths you in fun then gets carried away and oops-bites, etc.
I would have spotted the dog immediately, and would have made a bee-line for the owner and asked if I could pet their dog. Then I would promptly ignore all other humans (clearly the person who brought the dog is ok) and spend my evening talking about dogs and petting this dog.
