Jarbabyj - I have to second Siemsi on the infertility drug needles - they really are not bad. They are very short, thin needles - you really barely feel it. You can do them in any area, not like some shots that have to go into muscle or something.
I also second her point that you should see an RE if at all possible. If nothing else, you can save yourself grief and money, because if you get transferred to an RE, they redo all the tests because they don’t believe your results from anyone else. If I remember correctly, you are also in Chicagoland. I can personally recommend the Center for Human Reproduction. There are other advantages to going to an RE too. You don’t have to sit in a waiting room with a bunch of pregnant women, you don’t have to deal with clueless office workers who don’t know the infertility routine, and they usually run support groups as well so you can make friends in your same situation.
Has your hubby been tested yet? It is not fair for you to go through this stuff if he has not. Your tests are at worst painful and at a minimum invasive. All he has to do is make a deposit. Mine was opposed and complained profusely, but it really is important. Women tend to assume the fault is theirs, but it is often not the case.
PS - There is no anesthesiologist - an HSG is like a combination pap smear and ultrasound. It is usually just the doctor and you, maybe a nurse hovering about, but that is it.
Best wishes! My best advice is to not try to go through this alone, especially if your hubby is not on the same page with you.
Jarbabyj - Sorry - you posted while I was writing, so I didn’t see it before submitting.
Your feelings are completely valid. Don’t be ashamed. I think we all went through the same phase where you just could not be happy for someone else. Some just might have been able to admit it. It is completely normal and you are allowed to feel that way.
I had the same problem with my hubby - he was against all the doctor stuff, not just an IVF. He said if I relaxed it would happen if it was meant to. I know how you feel. I was never able to convince him otherwise, even after my endometriosis surgery and everything else we found.
The worst part is, I got pregnant during a month we were taking a break from treatment, gearing up for the IVF, so he feels vindicated, so he never did change his mind and was convinced he was right. I really didn’t care anymore since I got what I wanted - I didn’t care how.
I still think finding someone to go through this with would help you the most, but a large group that has so many “graduates” might not be best.
Sorry to force information. I didn’t mean to. You could have just said that it was taken care of…
Your hubby and mine must have come from the same mold. That was the other thing - he was a very private person and didn’t want to discuss any of it with anyone, and would get upset with me for wanting to talk about it.
jar, do not feel ashamed at all for feeling like it’s not fair. I felt the same way.
Like I said, I was an L&D nurse when I was going through all that, and it frustrated me and hurt me terribly that here were these women, some of whom were net even that thrilled to be having babies at all, popping them out right and left and all I could do was help them and smile a big fake smile through the whole thing. It made me very sad and angry, even.
It’s perfectly normal, so don’t beat yourself up about that. I know I am one of those who did eventually graduate to the stork club, so that is little comfort coming from me.
You are a very strong lady, and you are going to make it through this.
Unfortunately, the hystero didn’t go through as planned. After about 25 minutes of trying to get various catheters through my cervix (which was AGONIZING) the doctor gave up and said if he pushed or stretched any further it would ‘traumatize’ my insides. So now he’s going to defer to a surgeon to try and get something through my apparently tight as a drum cervix.
As I said in my live journal…I feel sort of like I failed myself. If I hadn’t opened my mouth or made noises that let him know he was hurting me, he could have just jammed the catheter through and we’d be done with the whole thing…but instead I was all tensed up and shaking with pain and he noticed.
Now I suppose I have to wait another month and the next time I assume will be more invasive.
Do keep us posted. I’d been keeping my fingers crossed for you…
Maybe your “tight as a drum cervix” is the problem in the first place? Did the doc comment on that possibility at all? IANAD of course, so that could be completely out of the question.
That really sucks that you have to go through something more invasive, but no way should you feel at fault here. Your internal anatomy is pretty much beyond any hope of voluntary control. Hope all goes well…
I’m sorry jarbabyj. I know something of what you are going through, as my wife and I went through the fertility treatment wringer for five years. I certainly know it sucks. I’d tell you not to blame yourself, but that’s like following the directions to stay calm when you’ve been bitten by a snake. Still, the pain was an indication that the doctor should stop, not your acknowledging the pain. That is what the pain is for, “giving in” is not some sign of weakness.
IA (also) NAD, but it would have seemed to me that some sort of relaxant and/or pain reliever would have been appropriate. I had what could have been an unpleasant gastrointestinal exam last year, but they used some sort of “twilight sleep” so that I was, while not unconscious, not aware of very much either.
I had one of these hytero… things also many years ago. Not pleasant.
Infertility is a b!tch. Just to possibly cheer you up with a success story, I now have 2 lovely grown-up daughters. Eventually found the infertility prob to be lack of regular ovulation. After spending mucho dinero on BC methods. Happy ending anyway; may the same be true for you.
Just do remember as others have said, this is NOT YOUR FAULT any more than it’s the “fault” of a diabetic that her pancreas doesn’t produce the right amount of insulin, for example. Stuff happens.
yer sweet. I had the second hysterosalpingogram last week and all was found to be clear, which is nice. I also had my hormones checked and they’re all in order. After a semen analysis the next stop is fertility specialist…which is a little daunting.
The HSG was a bit painful due to my ‘shy cervix’ (she’s not much of a partier), but the doc also said that the three months following HSG are usually the most fertile since all the ‘debris’ is cleaned out.
As a side note, while in the procedure room I decided to crack a joke to the first year resident that was helping with the procedure.
I said “Debris! What the heck is down there? Old gum wrappers? tumbleweeds?”
The resident, without cracking a smile said “Oh no ma’am, more like cell debris and mucus”
