…and I just feel ill about it and don’t know what to do.
A few weeks ago (I think) there was a thread about tentacle porn. After many days of tee heeing and “i’m not gonna look it up, you look it up” and “no, you look it up”, I finally looked it up. It was just what I thought it would be. Giant squids and octopi having sex with women. It was done in an anime style.
So I was looking at it a bit, clicking on different links. Then an entire page of thumbnails of realistic, colour drawings came up. They were all of men having sex with small children. Graphic, realistic and disturbing.
I'm now a tiny bit worried that I'm going to get into trouble for seeing that. I dont really know what to do about it. I suppose there isnt anything I can do. I'm also really angry that without even trying, I saw that. Now the images are in my head and I cant get them out. I know they arent photos, but they were so realistic.
Anyway I dont really know what to do and I dont even know that I’m asking for advice or what. I just feel sick about it and I dont want to tell anyone that I saw that so I posted here where I can be anonymous.
I’m a 36 y/o woman who was sexually abused my entire childhood so maybe thats why its bothering me so much.
For what it’s worth, I was never sexually abused as a child, and I would feel sick and angry about seeing that, too.
I’m sorry you have those images in your brain.
If you’re at home, I wouldn’t worry about it too much. Law enforcement isn’t going to come knocking down your door because you accidently clicked a link leading you to something gross.
If you’re at work, you could be in trouble. But a reasonable boss & even barely competent IT person could tell the difference between your actively searching for porn or just happening to run across it one time.
I’m really sorry about your childhood experience.
As far as what you should do, you don’t really have to do anything. If it makes you feel better, empty your web browser’s cache and clear your browsing history. This won’t protect you from law enforcement, as they could probably resurrect deleted files, but as I said, LE isn’t going to come after you for this. Just don’t google up “how to make bombs to blow up planes” right now. At least, I wouldn’t.
Isn’t kiddie porn only actually illegal when real children were harmed while making it, that is, photos and videos of real children, as opposed to drawings/erotica?
Max has a valid point. Someone was arrested in the Seattle area a few years ago and charged with child pornography. The judge dismissed the case because there were no children harmed. All the guy had done was drawn pictures of children having sex.
I think that is a grey area of law. Some juristdictions would say a drawing is and some wouldn’t. I have also read of a convicted child molester, having his parole revoked because of written stories of children having sex.
towlie
Was it your home computer or at work? Basically, just give it time, or look up some images you actually like to see and think about those.
**foxymoron ** and levdrakon thank you so very much for replying. I’ve spent yesterday and today feeling like I have this dirty little secret. I dont know why, but just your few words about it have made me feel so much better. I guess validation that yes, I saw something really gross, and no, I didnt do a horrible thing.
I'm on a home computer so I feel better about it too, knowing that the police arent going to be bashing in my door and hauling me away.
MaxTheVool I have no idea of the legalities of it all. I just know I never ever want to see anything like that again.
Yeah, unless you’re a convicted child molester/pornographer, drawings almost certainly aren’t illegal in the US.
Here’s some uber-cuteness: Cute Overload!
I know what you mean. I’ve been fooled into things like that accidently. Links are not always what they seem. How someone could be attracted to a 9-year old is beyond me, but don’t feel like you’ve participated in it. You are different, and you are not part of the problem.
The situation is similar in Canada - only photographs are illegal to possess. (In fact, there was a highly controversial case a few years ago in which it was ruled that drawings were protected by the Charter - what in the US would be the First Amendment. Many people were outraged, but the constitution’s the constitution.)
I’m fairly sure that there was a Supreme Court case a few years back establishing the same thing around here. But I don’t know the specifics. I’m sort of amazed that something like that would be so readily available that you could find it by accident - it seems like the purveyors would want to maintain a bit more, um, discretion with that kind of thing. But I guess that since it’s legal (as far as I know) they’re probably in the clear.
Ick. I once discovered child porn - and this was actual photos - on someone’s computer. It was a very unpleasant thing. I can still remember what it looked like.
towlie, I also once accidentally happened upon child porn of some sort. I was on the page only a second or two until I realized what it was and immediately clicked off- the images didn’t have time to register in my head. Like you though, I felt dirty and disgusted, so disgusted I told my boss at work what happened and also wanted to call the authorities to let them know I did it and it was a mistake, just because I didn’t want anyone to think I landed there on purpose! But of course, as others stated, nothing came of it. Surely the authoritites could tell the difference in a one time mistake and someone with a hard drive full of kiddie porn. Interestingly, in my daily exahustive searches of adult porn, I have never stumbled on kiddie porn of any type. The time above, I had been on a page about cult 70’s films and was looking into one called “Emperor Tomato Ketchup” which supposedly (I learned after the fact) is sort of borderline child porn or something- all I know is Stereolab I think had an album named that as well, so I figured it was harmless.
A donation to a worthy organisation that fights child sexual abuse and imagery might be something both good and cleansing. I’m sorry, I don’t know of an organisation off-hand, but something like that might counter the evil with a splash of goodness.
Well, she was looking up “tentacle porn” – when doing that, you’re likely to land on pages related to Hentai (pornographic) anime & manga (Japanese toons and comics), and you may in turn surf on to a fetish-oriented page, which would have links to various such fetish topics, such as tentacle, bondage, furry… and “lolicon” or “shota” (WARNING TO THE SENSITIVE: DO NOT IMAGE-GOOGLE), the ones where the characters are not just very neotenic but deliberately portrayed as children.
