[QUOTE=Sad and Deranged]
I know how it feels to be judged by people to give up a cat. A while ago, I had adopted another older cat (not quite a senior yet, but getting there) and he just did not get along with my perfect little female. She wanted nothing to do with him, and the vets and a lot of cat experts were semi-baffled. They got into really nasty rumbles, and by the end of it, I had exhausted all my options on trying to get them to at least tolerate each other. I had to let the other one go back to the shelter because it just wasn’t safe for my little female anymore. The people at the shelter wasn’t happy with the situation, and neither was I, but I had tried everything and that was it. That cat, luckily, had a happy ending. A friend of a friend heard about him, decided that even though this cat needed A LOT of attention and would do best in a one cat home, adopted him and last I heard, was living happily, center of attention of all the family members. He wasn’t the right cat for me, and I certainly didn’t enjoy the scathing remarks people made about not giving the cat a chance. I knew I tried every method I could for them to get along, and they just wouldn’t. I only gave him up as a last resort.
I guess my experience just makes me upset that although I tried everything I could think of, I was still lumped as an “irresponsible pet owner” by some people simply because I had to surrender a cat. Some people, no matter what reason you give them, just won’t accept that a cat is not a good fit in all homes.
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You have my empathetic sympathies on this. (Also CONGRATS!!! on Logan!) I’ve always, as an independent adult, had multiple indoor-only cats, and over the course of 35+ years had to rehome three of them because they simply could not adapt to that life. It was painfully hard each time, especially the first, which had to go to a shelter – and the folks there gave me a very tough time. Which they were entitled to do, but it was give up that cat or be evicted from my apartment for the damage it was doing.
The other two I found homes for as barn cats, fortunately with understanding rather than condemnation from the people I’d discussed my dilemma with. The feral adoptee, who’d never learned to trust humans and was miserable living with me and the other cats, soon disappeared and I wonder to this day whether she’s still alive, sneaking into the barn at night to feed on the other barn cats’ food, or whether she did not survive.
The other pet turned barn cat, who’d been socialized to humans from birth, simply couldn’t handle living with other cats and adapted to barn life joyfully. She and the original resident barn cat worked out territories and mostly ignored each other. She’s still alive and thriving three years later, and is delighted to tell me all about it whenever I visit her.
So, yeh, it’s tough to judge these things if you haven’t walked in that person’s shoes or stepped in that cat’s upchuck. 
) and I’ve tugged at his tail a bit. None of it has hurt him, just made him mildy annoyed.
