Hey…chill out, sunshine. I didn’t even come close to breaking the rule. If you would read it more carefully, you’d see that I merely suggested that a life so cynical that you cannot see the good in humanity is not a life worth living. I certainly wouldn’t bother to play it out if I didn’t feel inspired (more often than not) by the kindness and goodness of others. As barbaric as man has been to his fellow man, he still manages to outweigh that with with kind acts, great and small. If I didn’t believe that, life would be too painful and I’d end it. I see nothing wrong with ending an unhappy or uninspired life. As long as it’s suicide.
“You just need to kill yourself” is not suggesting “that a life so cynical…is not worth living.” It is a direct and personal recommendation. And if you can’t see that, then the mealy worms in your mouth must have infected your brain. At least stand behind what you say you, chickenshit motherfucker.
I know of only 2 things that are infinite: the universe and human stupidity.
Definition of common sense: the prejudices acquired by age 18.
~ Albert Einstein
We are all in the gutter, but some of us look at the stars
~ Oscar Wilde
It’s a relief to see that something is making life worth living for you.
In my own experience, looking on the bright side and “keeping my chin up” was taught to me by survivors of World War I, the Great Depression, and World War II.
I don’t advocate ignoring news programs, I do have to put that all into perspective. Right now, my life and the lives of those that I love are really pretty good. If I try to do some things to make life a little better for others too, then I think I’ve earned the right to enjoy my good fortune.
And what is the alternative to looking on the bright side? You make yourself miserable if you dwell on the rotten things – and it’s not particularly realistic.
Look, asshole. I said you “NEED” to – not “SHOULD”. It would eliminate the pain you apparently feel by being part of the human race. Your existence means nothing to me either directly or personally, so don’t flatter yourself by thinking this was an attack on you. Take a remedial reading course. Or go fuck yourself. Cheer down…your effervescence is killing us.
Oh. And “chickenshit?” Come 'ere and say that.
It isn’t about whether people are evil or good, it is about how you choose to see life. If you are an optimist, you see all the times that good things happen, all the strength, kindness, and beauty in the world. If you are a pessimist, you focus on the hardship, the unfairness, the darkness. Statisitics (as overwehelming as they are) are not going to convince the pessimists. They need their cynicism, or at least they think they do.
I am a psychologist, and I work with people who have new spinal cord injuries. Yep, the folks who have just been told they won’t walk, pee, or poop on their own anymore. The folks who, if you believe certain movies, want to die. Except they don’t. More specifically, the optimistic ones don’t. Many believe they will walk, but even those who don’t find a way to cope. As Miller said:
"
Aside from the people who actually died, I question how many people’s lives were ruined by this act. Humans have an absolutely astounding ability to cope. Shit happens. People deal with it, and move on. The survivors of this attack are in a lot of pain now, even if they didn’t get physically wounded. And that pain won’t ever go away. But I suspect that most of them, probably all of them, are going to be able to put their lives back together and move on, and eventually find happiness again. People have done just that in the wake of far worse atrocities. In the long run, even the most heinous evil is ultimatly impotent."
Bingo. People cope. I can’t count the number of times I have heard someone say, “Well, it could have been worse” or “This was my wake up call. I need to change my life.”
Of course, some people have a harder time, and the depression rate is about 25% (among those without injury, it is about 10-15%, so it is higher, but not as high as most people would think). In my experience, the people who get depressed are the "life sucks"crowd. They think that thinking the worst will save them from disappointment, when in fact, it promotes disappointment and even despair.
Contrapuntal said:
“For every human that stands tall and perseveres hundreds, nay thousands are crushed beneath a weight to heavy to bear. If history is written by the winners, then such philosophies are written by the survivors, and offer little solace to those too weak to stand, too blinded by misery to stare the storm in the eye.”
If we can’t look to survivors to help us in times of misery, who should we look to? If one wants to survive, one has to find a way. Probably all of my patients would have said, if you had asked them the week before their injury, that they would not want to live if they were injured. And yet when it happens, they do want to survive, and they do survive. If your advice is not try to look on the bright side, what advice do you have? Accept that life sucks? How on earth is pessimism helpful in a crisis? Sure, it is fun for hand-wringing philosophical discussions, and it makes people look very urbane, but does it help?
No argument from me! That’s exactly how I interpret things too. Ultimately we are going to die and no one knows what it will be like. That fear colors our lives, and the small versions of death that happen scare us and lead us to evil choices. When we are secure and happy and at peace, it’s easy to do the right thing. Introduce uncertainty and potential loss and it gets more difficult.
I disagree. I think there are actively evil people. Those who purposefully inflict pain and suffering on others, in order to maintain their lifestyle. Yassir Arafat, for example. Idi Amin. Fred Phelps. I don’t think there are many. But there are some.
(Bolding mine)
OK genius. If it was not directed at me, then, exactly who was the target? Also, trust me when I say that self-flattery is not one of my vices. Penultimately, if you see a significant distinction between saying “you need to” and “you should”, then I contend that my charge of mealy mouthed behavior is justified on its face. And last but not least, I will gladly come there and say “chickenshit.” Just tell me where and when.
Brynda, well said. I might disagree with you on only one point:
Do you distinguish between those who “get depressed” and those who “have depression”?
Contrapuntal, it isn’t healthy to be this bitter, angry and negative. And often it is totally unnecessary. When a person is down this low, there is always the possibility that his body chemistry is out of balance. When that happens, the very part of the brain that makes judgments is affected and a person can perceive that everything is much worse than it is and not be able to exercise the good judgment to get medical help.
I have been that person.
I wish you good times to come.
I think you are missing my point. I never meant to suggest that pessimism was helpful in a crisis. I find realism to be superior to hopeful optimism, however. Try telling the young child being abused by her mother’s boy friend to “look on the bright side.” Tell it to the victim of female circumcision in Africa, to the family driven homeless in the Sudan; to Daniel Pearl right before the knife comes down. It only works where it works. Those for whom it works are what I refer to as the “survivors.” In my opinion, however, to suggest to someone who is absolutely crushed beyond despair to “look on the bright side” is cruel, self-serving, and thoughtless.
And Zoe, thanks for the kind words. My brain chemistry has already been adjusted about as much as possible.
Hurray! Somebody actually read what I wrote!
Zoe, Your question is a good one. In my post, I was writing about people who undergo a crisis and the assumption was that they were not depressed before, but are now at risk due to the crisis and their underlying pessimism. The point is that events alone, no matter how heinous, do not cause depression. And then there is the real world, where I don’t make the assumption that the person was not depressed before the injury, and things are not so neat. IMHO, being pessimistic is both cause and effect; it is a symptom of depression and therefore can be a result of depression, but it is also a risk factor and can lead to depression, especially in the face of hardship.
contapuntal, ah, but there’s the rub. In my work, I never say to someone that they should look on the bright side. I just wait for them to say it, and then praise the hell out of them for saying it. When you are dealing with someone who is in crisis, all you can do is support their coping, not hand them some of yours. All I am saying is that it is healthier to have some of that optimism as part of your nature, so that you can use it when you need to. People who go around bemoaning the state of the universe just seem to me to be contributing to despair. That’s all the more ironic when they seem sadder than the actual victims of the crisis they are wringing hands over.