In a previous thread, I asked for help because I had signed up for Facebook as part of a work alumni networking group and got a message from someone in high school I don’t remember. You all were patient and helpful.
Well, I still have this alumni account, and I still haven’t really used it - but I do get updates regarding the alumni from that job, so it is doing what it is supposed to do. However, I got another message - but this is from someone I would like to reply to.
Except I don’t know how. :smack:
I have an email in my normal Inbox from this woman - she has since married and her name is basically Joan Smith (Jones) - at least, that is how she identified herself to me, listing her maiden name so I’d recognize her then her married name. But when I click on the link in the email where it says (duh) “to reply to this message, follow the link below” - I end up in my Facebook account, looking at a Facebook version of the same email from this person - and I can find NO freakin’ button for Reply or anything! Grr. There is a tab called Compose email, but that requires that I know this person’s name or have them as a Friend or something because I can’t make her address come up. And if I hit Help, I get nuthin’ helpful.
Huh. There should be a Reply box at the very bottom of the message. Or if you go to the person’s profile page, there is a “Send Message” option under their profile picture.
Hmm, really? Since I have never gotten one like this, I didn’t know. Okay, I clicked on the link in my email again. I went to Facebook and there is the message. No photo of the person, just a question mark. To the right of that, there is her “hey, long time no talk” message with her signoff Joan Smith (Jones). Below that - nuthin’. Is that where it should be? If so, I wonder why the Reply option is not being offered for this message?
I think rigs is right - you have to friend her first. She’s probably set her privacy level so non-friends can’t send her messages.
ETA: Actually, that isn’t right. Friend status or lack thereof shouldn’t have any bearing on the ability to reply to messages.
Try looking at the “Help” section of Facebook - the link is at the very bottom right-hand corner. From what I can gather you might need to update your browser.
I suppose that is part of my frustration and curiosity. She sent me the email, but that email doesn’t involve asking me to “friend” her or anything - it’s just an email with a link to the same message in Facebook. Her email to me makes reference to her just joining Facebook, too, so she is no more versed on this stuff than I am…
See my edited post above. You should be able to friend her by accessing her profile - the option should be right below her profile pic (or question mark).
You can’t find her profile? at all? Go over to search and input her name. Or go to the network you both share and then do it. You should be able to send a friend request to her that way.
I just had a stranger email me from facebook (or rather he emailed me a friend request), all based on my user name eleanorigby–he thought my name really was eleanor rigby. <sigh. Oh, these bright young things today> So, I changed my name to my real name.
My point is that I didnt’ want to be a jerk to this guy, but I had no middle ground–you’re either friends or DENIED or ignored or some such. There’s no polite button for thanks for the attention but go away now. So, I share your frustration, even though the details are different.
You know, you can just deny it. They don’t get a message saying you denied their request or anything. He’ll probably forget he even asked. And I wouldn’t make fun of him, I don’t know anyone that uses a handle instead of their real name on Facebook. If anything he might have thought it was a parody profile.
There are at least 5 other Eleanor Rigbys on Facebook, none of which are their real name, so his thinking mine is genuine seems a bit off. I wasn’t making fun of him, personally–I wish there were an option like I posted. Request denied seems cold to me.
For the OP-perhaps it’s something with your settings? I would check you account settings. Or it might be hers.
If someone sends you a friend request and you click Ignore, it doesn’t send them any message at all, certainly not to the effect of “Request rejected.” The person will either forget about it or eventually realize it was ignored.
In his defense, no one that I know uses anything besides their real name on Facebook. If I had to hazard a wild guess, I’d say 97% of users use their real name… it’s sort of the point of Facebook. Handles and screen names are for MySpace.
Messages to you should appear in your inbox. When you are looking at your profile there should be a tab somewhere that says inbox on it. Click there, and it’ll bring up a list of messages, just like in an email acct. When you click on the message to open it, a reply box should appear below it.
One thing that may be causing some confusion here: She (probably*) didn’t send you the email that made it into your regular inbox, Facebook did. You have an option set on your account to email you when a user sends you a message within facebook. The email from facebook is just a way to get your attention and say, “Hey! Someone sent you a message! Sign in and check it out!”
And there’s a reply box under the text of people’s messages to me too, so if it’s not there from you, I’m not sure what to tell you. If you click on her name, it should take you to her profile. If you look underneath where the photo would normally be (the question mark just means she hasn’t uploaded one), there should be an option to request her as a friend, as well as an option to message her.
Whether you’re already friends shouldn’t matter – if she sent you a message, you should be able to both see her profile and reply to the message whether you’re friends or not. Anyone you request as a friend or send a message to is granted access to your profile for some amount of time (30 days, maybe) regardless of your privacy settings.
[sub]*I suppose it’s possible she sent you a message on facebook, and then an email to your regular address, but you say the email is just a link to the same message within facebook, and that’s exactly what happens when facebook does it automatically[/sub]
This is almost certainly the case.I think Facebook’s defalt setting is to e-mail you about every invite, message, etc. It’s also standard protocol to only put out a friend request when you’re sure of the person’s identity (so some stranger doesn’t have access to your full profile).
I agree that people don’t generally send friend requests unless they’re sure of who you are, but as I said, if I message you, poke you or send you a friend request and we aren’t friends, you’re granted access to my profile anyway. I CAN change what those people are allowed to see, but I’m not sure what the default is – and, you have to change it as a group, you can’t have different settings for people you message and people you send friend requests to.
Update: Okay, I went to my email and clicked on the link (of course you are right, **Garfield226 **- the person who contacted me sent something to me in FB and FB then emailed me). I went to FB and there was the message, in FB, from this person. There is absolutely Reply button anywhere - I looked a LOT - so I have to assume that, as posters have said, that because this person hadn’t Friended me, I was not yet allowed to reply.
So I got out of the message, did a quick search and found who I think is the person. I sent them a message basically saying “hey if this is the right person, I want to contact you but can’t. Please try Friending me and we can take it from there.” I didn’t appear to be able to offer them the chance to Friend with - but I didn’t look too hard and I wasn’t even sure if I had found the right person.
No harm, no foul - I gave it a shot! Thanks again - unfortunately, I suspect I will be back for help in the future! :smack: :smack: :smack:
