I Am Duly Awestruck By Your Loud Vehicle.

It is now obvious to me that it requires enormous genitals to ride a motorcycle that loud. When you sit in your driveway and rev it for 10 minutes at 6AM each weekday before roaring down the street on it, it makes it that much clearer to me. When you wake my toddler with it at 3AM on your way home from a bar each weekend, you are actually doing her a favor by demonstrating that only really cool people have motorcycles like yours, which is as it should be. Jesus would probably have one just like it.
I’m also now impressed by the kid down the street who has the really powerful stereo system in his car. The loud, thumping bass that shakes my windows as he goes by isn’t rudeness. It’s generosity that I was too stupid to recognize. Here was the lad kindly sharing his music with the whole neighborhood, and I was churlishly upset by it. Clearly, I’m the kind of asshole who stomps on kittens.
I must also state that I now genuflect in the direction of every ricer and hotrodder who squeals his tires at intersections and guns his car up residential streets. I thought these were idiotic peacock displays, but I was wrong. It must be some inadequacy or failing on my part that caused me to be annoyed by the noise your wonderful machines make.
Yes, I was wrong to think that loud vehicles were nothing but selfish, rude displays. I apologize for even thinking about the stifling of your personhood that you driving something quieter would entail. You guys rule.

Actually, you’d think that enormous genitals would count against one in one’s attempt to ride a motorcycle. Or, at least, make it proportionately more painful.

Dang-nab snot nosed jeuvenile dee-linkents with their noisy motor bikes and them loud hi-fi stereos. The devil take 'em and their beatnick friends! They’s all into smoking them drugs y’know…


So…Jesus had enormous genitals? Far out. Makes one wonder if that whole “he is risen” thing wasn’t just a big misunderstanding…?

You’re going to Hell for that.

Well, he was hung on a cross.

He was hung like this. spreads arms

Enough with the Jesus jokes already. I’m not ready for the second cumming of Christ just yet.


You don’t live in Ohio, do you? Because I think we live on the same street.

I love our new house - it’s wonderful. I work from home, and it’s fairly quiet during the day for the most part. We do get high schoolers from down the street going by - school gets out at 1:45, so I’m treated to thumping bass for about half an hour. It doesn’t bother me as much now, but I’m sure it’ll be annoying when I’m trying to get a kid down for a nap next year.

However, there’s some asshole who has a motorcycle in the neighborhood who does the EXACT same thing that your asshole cyclist does. Except his is at one AM when everyone else is trying to sleep.

My husband didn’t believe me that it was waking me up for awhile - until we were up one night late playing Trivial Pursuit and went to bed just as jackass was leaving his house on his motorcycle. THEN he believed me.

Funny thing is, we have a noise ordinance in this town that’s somewhat strictly enforced. Except on our street. And we have a cop who sits on the corner for hours a day - EXCEPT when the high schoolers are getting out of school. It would be really nice if they would crack down on a bit of this pounding bass that we’re subjected to at 1:45.


Now I’m going to hell for laughing at all these posts.

Does your city have a noise pollution law? It’d be easy enough to catch these guys, call the cops, tell them where and when. If not, you may be out of luck.

I’ve heard that he was hung on the cross. He musta been hung on the street, in the park, and on the sofa too.

I am waaaaay too friggen slow.

My city has noise pollution laws, and as far as I know, they are thoroughly ignored by all enforcement officers. I would absolutely love to see a loud motorcycle getting pulled over and ticketed for being so incredibly loud some day, but I haven’t seen it yet, and it’s not looking likely.

My sympathies, Scumpup. My hatred of noisy vehicles burns with the fire of 854 suns.

Far as I’m concerned, the guy with the quietest car wins.
I think someone should start a trend for quiet cars. Making cars loud is toooo easy, making cars extremely quiet is very difficult. If you want to impress me then make it so I can’t even hear your engine rev when you stand on the gas. That would be a remarkable feat.

Around here motorcycles need to be loud. Bikers usually just take the muffler right off. It’s a safety issue. If they’re not going to be seen, then they need to be heard.

But when the local bike gang comes by, it’s like the freakin’ apocolypse.

:rolleyes: Loud pipes save lives! :rolleyes:

*ok, actually, they make me want to plow the biker over.

I have a '78KZ-650SR, not a sexy bike, stock pipes, and YES, large hanging male parts do make motorcycle riding less enjoyable. Less so on a cruiser, or standard bike than on a rice rocket.

We’ve got this same idiot in our neighborhood. Saturday and Sundays he tears out of his driveway, onto the street, then tears out onto the main roads… I’ve been behind him, and he doesn’t do this once he’s left the neighborhood? :wally


Exactly tdn. I have a VERY loud bike for safety reasons. I want someone to know when I am coming up on thier blind spot. Ever heard the saying “Loud pipes save lives”?

Now, with that in mind, I DO NOT ride my bike past 8:00PM unless I am going somewhere and plan on being out all night. I like my nieghbors and they like me. I prefer to keep it that way.

The choice to ride an inherently less-safe vehicle entitles one to be a public nuisance for one’s personal safety? Fuck that. You want safety, buy a car. A quiet one. I owned various motorcycles from the time I was 16 'til I was in my 30’s. I didn’t buy this excuse then and I don’t buy it now.

Does this guy ride a Harley with a big sticker that reads, “LOUD PIPES SAVE LIVES”? If so, you may be talking about my uncle. Don’t worry, I don’t like him either, he’s not a blood relative anyway.