Thank you, Chianti-in-a-box.
More! We want to hear drunken rambling!
Alcohol.
It tastes great! It makes women appear more attractive. And renders one virtually invulnerable to criticism!
Yes, why not spew out a stream of incoherent rambling? Something that will make you bitterly embarrassed after you sober up? Come on, give us something, man!
mmmm, Chianti-in-a-box.
Also known as “Drinkable Red”
Wine…Helping bums forget their real problems since 1842…
only fairly? pah! Amateur! 
…it’s not just for breakfast anymore.