To: “Bob” a/k/a the moron who leaves the following message on my machine at home, every single day: “This is a message for Jerry H. My name is Bob. It is very important that you return my call at 1-888-XXX-XXXX. I will be in the office until 9 p.m. Have a nice day!”
From: Jodi H.
Dear “Bob”: I have a news flash for you – well, several, actually.
My name is “Jodi,” not “Jerry.” The fact that you do not know this leads me to believe you got my phone number from a less-than-stellar source.
Telling me your name is “Bob” is insufficient information to identify the company or entity you are calling for. I frankly do not care that your name is “Bob” and am more interested in knowing who you work for, as I assume you’re not calling me up for fun.
While it may be important to you that I return your call, it is not so important to me, especially since I do not have the faintest idea why you are calling me. Perhaps some clue in that regard would be helpful if you expect people to call you back.
The bottom line, Bob: I am never, ever, ever going to return your call. While hearing your voice on my machine as I came home from work was initially cheering (but not as cheering as if you had said, say, “Don’t worry, honey; I made dinner.”), it has now, after two weeks, crossed the line to extremely aggravating and monotonous. If I knew where you were, Bob, I would come to your house or place of business and rip your lungs out, holding them up for you to behold as you gasped your last.
Please, please, please post Bob’s phone number so that we can check it out for you – or leave him messages…
Ooh, I love your magazine. My favorite section is `How to increase your word power’. That thing is really, really… really… good. – Homer, ``Mr. Lisa Goes to Washington’’
I guarantee you that “Bob” works for a collection agency of some sort. I just got a new phone number, and I get these sorts of messages-- verbatim-- left for me all the time. Apparently, Rafael Fernandez, who had the phone number before me, was a bit of a deadbeat.
It must be a practice in the collection industry to use this exact message format:
-My name is [first name only or Mr./Mrs. last name only].
-It is important that you return my call at [800 number]
-Will be in the office until 9:00.
Odds are, the guy’s name isn’t really Bob. Many collection agencies use coded names so that, when you call back and ask for “Bob,” they can route you to a particular unit responsible for your account, and the person who answers will tell you that “I can take care of that for Bob.” “Bob” himself obviously isn’t in the office from 8:00 am (when these calls often start) until 9:00 pm.
So, Jodi. A little behind on the credit cards, are we?
NURLMAN – No, I’m not behind on anything . . . well, a little, but certainly not so far behind they’d have handed me off to a collection agency. Besides, collection agencies also send letters – telephone contact being insufficient notice of the debt unless you call them back – and I haven’t received any. And any debt I might incur would be in my own name.
LYNN – I don’t want to take the trouble to call and tell him to stop calling me. The very thought that I would have to return the call just to get some peace and quiet galls me. But the combination of the call being to “Jerry” and the idea that it might be a collection agency concerns me . . . I suppose in the interest of my good credit I should call him back. Damn. Oh, well, at least I can abuse him a bit.
Can’t stand those calls myself. Bottom line: They want money – either want you to buy something, re-mortgage something or pay some past due bill.
As far as the latter goes, if I had the money, I’d pay them. Calling me daily isn’t going to help. Does it make them feel better? Is the “hound them until they curse their very existance” strategy effective?
Thanks be to God for Caller ID. If your number says “Unavailable,” I shant be answering. You want me to buy something or pay something. (Where I live, they say “Private” if its a personal unlisted phone number.)
As someone once said, the correct response to these people is, “Oh, yes, I would be interested in paying that, but I’m in a hurry right now. Can I get your home phone number and give you a call later this evening with all of the information you need?”
They will, of course, respond, “We don’t do that.”
To which you respond, “Oh, so your organization finds it intrusive to be called at home by a stranger?”
I agree with a bunch of people here. It’s probably a collection agency, he’s probably got the wrong number and the wrong person, and you should call him at least once to set him straight. No telling how much worse it might get if the Powers That Be at “Bob’s” company decide that “Jerry” is a deadbeat who ought to have his TV set or car repossessed. The repo man out there with a tow truck won’t discuss the issue with you, and he’s got the law on his side.
Save yourself some possible hassle and check it out. Besides, just imagine how pleased “Bob” will feel once you point out his error. He’ll be so happy for the constructive criticism! :rolleyes:
Telemarketers don’t usually come back over and over and over again. All they have to do is check off whether they talked to a person or left a message and then they’re done with you, they can move on to the next number.
“Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast!” - the White Queen
Jodi - I agree 100%. There is currently a nice gentleman who leaves me a message every day at work.
“johnnyharvard , this is Vince Netti calling. Please return my call at xxx-xxx-xxxx.”
It’s an unlisted local number. I have no idea who this guy is or what he may want and I have no intention of calling him. This has been going on for about two weeks now and the frustration level in his voice is growing with every call. As a matter of principle I don’t return these types of calls - they are always bill collectors and my understanding is that they make these calls on the assumption that no one would ever return their calls if they admitted “This is ABC collection agency calling…”. For the same reason they block the use of caller ID. Fuck 'em. :mad: I’m not behind on anything anymore and I’m not going to accelerate or renegotiate any payments I am now making.
All he would need to do for me to return the call is to tell me who he is and who he represents - but even the after hours answering machine just says “this is xxx-xxx-xxxx” please leave a message. Well, if he wants to perpetuate the mystery of who he is, I’ll just perpetuate the mystery of why I won’t return his fucking call.
But he doesn’t vary in the delivery, and refuses to tell me anything, so I guess he thinks that eventually I’m just gonna pick up the phone and call him. Now it’s a battle of wills and I’m not the one who has to pick up the phone and call every day…
And I will email the telephone number to anyone who’s willing to call this guy and find out what the hell he wants. I lose my temper easily and I don’t think I could handle making an anonymous call myself, but I would love to find out his name and mailing address so I can figure out the best way to deal with whatever issue he seems to think is so important.
Let me know if you’re willing to do it…
And NURLMAN - cut Jodi some slack about the bills or credit cards, whatever. These people are like vultures. When I moved from Boston two years ago I started getting one of these calls and had no clue what it could be. I never returned the calls, but I ended up getting a letter in the mail from the name in the phone calls - representing Allied Bond Company in xxxxtown Pennsylvania. They were after a $60 telephone bill that my old roommate had neglected to pay when we moved out of the old apartment. Bastards are viscious.
In the ten years I’ve lived here, I’ve been called by some loser in the city bighouse three times. It seems he gets locked up every once in a while and he wastes his free call on me. I always resist the temptation to run down there and bail him out.
I can only guess that he’s messing up the area code, because my number is good in five neighboring area codes.
Creepy…
–In high school, voted most likely to get stuck in a clarinet.
He might be trying to collect on a neighbor - I’m sure you’ve heard of the latest collection agency outrage, but sometimes they’ll call neighbors of debtors and claim to need info or to reach the debtor. At least one friend has returned a call to discover that this was their schtick.
Disgusting.
What I hate is the mail postcards I get with quasi-handwriting on them and dancing peanuts saying “We’re going nuts trying to reach you.”
Argh.
Ooh, I love your magazine. My favorite section is `How to increase your word power’. That thing is really, really… really… good. – Homer, ``Mr. Lisa Goes to Washington’’
Bill collectors or Salesmen.
Makes me grateful that I have not sunk to such a level as having to do their job.
Had one freak trying to sell me a 3 room carpet cleaning deal!! Woo Hoo!! I have an all hardwood floor house. Even after expliaining the poor lost soul still was trying to sell me on it.
As someone once said, the correct response to these people is, “Oh, yes, I would be interested in paying that, but I’m in a hurry right now. Can I get your home phone number and give you a call later this evening with all of the information you need?”
They will, of course, respond, “We don’t do that.”
To which you respond, “Oh, so your organization finds it intrusive to be called at home by a stranger?”
i like it, i like it!!!
gonna have to use that one next time the telemarketers call to sell me vinyl siding on a place i RENT!
oh, and jodi… if i EVER had to leave you a voice mail, i would start it out with “don’t worry honey, i made reservations for dinner”
Where are we going, and why are we in this handbasket?
This sounds like a bill collector. I would call him just to find out the name of the place and then pay a personal visit to the jerk.
They are limited to sometime like one phone call a week and one letter a week, something like that. Any more often and they can be sued. I read of one firm who paid $26,000.00 to a fellow they harassed.
One of the turkeys called a guy in another state, and threatened to kill him if he didn’t pay a bill. The guy called the FBI, they put a tap on his phone, next call came with the threat and the bill collector went to prison.
I would get mail and phone calls from bill collectors looking for my ex-husband. It’s been years, but apparently these stupid jerks look up the last name and assume they will find him here.
One of them called twice in one day, same line ‘it is extremely important we hear from him before the end of the day’.
I got such pleasure out of calling them back and saying “I know who you are looking for, he is my ex-husband and good luck finding him, as he is homeless and living in his car.” Which is true.
You can find out who this jerk is by calling the local library and asking them to look up the number in the Reverse catalogue. That way you can get the address and name of whoever is bothering you. Then you can use their direct number to tell them to get lost.
We get lengthy messages on the answering machine from some turkey who claims he has looked over our records (?!) and can save us over $300 per month on our credit card interest. We don’t have that much debt! We don’t have anywhere near that much debt! But he leaves long, long messages wondering why he hasn’t heard from us yet. Get a clue. Other people say they get the same message.
Also, the remodeling company who says they’ll be in the neighborhood on such a day and would come by and give us a free quote on any work we want done. If we were ready to commit money to getting work done, they’d be happy to come by and give us a quote, whether they’re in the neighborhood or not.
Your email adress didn’t work. Are you sure that’s the right address? Anyone else want to help me out here? I want to know if this guy is a lawyer or bill collector or what before I call him back…
, this is Vince Netti calling. Please return my call at xxx-xxx-xxxx.”
gonna have to use that one next time the telemarketers call to sell me vinyl siding on a place i RENT!